Homesick for Perth but living in the UK

Hi all, I'm a Perth girl currently living in the UK with my hubby and kiddies. We came out for a holiday over xmas for 3 weeks and had an amazing time.....my husband relaxed, soaked up the sun and my kids loved spending time with their grandparents and uncle. They are 5 and 7 and it is so much easier to fly back and forth now they are out of nappies/formula/push chair - we have been back and forth quite a few times since they were born but this time was so enjoyable and magical. It made both myself and my husband wonder what the hell we are doing living just outside London and feeling like we are up against it every day......we've since had conversations about selling up and moving back to Perth and my husband opening an Australasia office of his company....all possible.

Problem is, I feel perhaps my kids are a bit too old now to fit in with the Aussie kids and their way of life. Perhaps I've left it too late.....they have a great little set of friends and go to a very good school over here that we do pay for. I worry that if we moved them to an Aussie primary that they would be completely out of their depth and struggle to make friends. They don't have the same beach/aussie rules upbringing that I did when I grew up in Perth, so I know what it is like. All I want is for them to be happy and feel like they belong and I'm terrified I would put them on the back foot.

Does anyone have a similar experience bad or good? My hubby would leave the UK in a second if he could, he loves Australia, Perth in particular, my parents and the lifestyle. We both fell back in love with Perth this trip I think, because the kids are that much older we could enjoy ourselves more.

Not sure what to do!!

Just do it! I'm from Perth but spent more than 10 years in the UK. We moved back exactly one year ago today and it was the best thing we've ever done!! My kids (boys) were 6 and 9 and adamant they weren't leaving their friends and life in the UK, but now they are absolutely thriving and loving it (although they prob won't admit it). We are at the beach almost every day at the moment and it's amazing to think my 10 year old had to hold my hand to go for a swim in the ocean two months ago (had never swum in an ocean with waves), but now he's out the back of the surf on his boogie board. We picnic all the time because we can (never could in the UK because it was cold/dark/raining) and the kids have cousins they love hanging out with. It's a totally different life for us and I really never imagined it would be so good. I still miss things about the UK but for our kids Perth is the best place to be.

PS Perth is far more multi cultural and expat nowadays. There are quite a few different nationalities in my kids' school. And as for Aussie Rules my kids love giving it a go (and cricket - that's new to them too). Soccer Seems to be more popular than Aussie Rules actually....

Thanks Laz, what a positive response! How are your boys getting on at school, have they been accepted by the others? Sounds like you have found a good school. How did you feel personally moving back after 10 years? I have been in the UK nearly 16 years and have loved being part of British culture.....but I'm probably somewhere between British and Australian now, so in reality I would be starting again too making new friends and networking. Did you pick up where you left off with your Perth friendships? Did that help?

I'd do it, dont let your fear hold them back (if that makes sense)

I happen to know a fair bit about child psychology and I am always amazed at how kids adapt to their new surroundings at this sort of age

My kids are a similar age, and we live near Cambs

But, you only have one life, PLEASE dont look back in 10 years and wish that this was something you wish you had done, life's TOO SHORT!!!

I'd do it, dont let your fear hold them back (if that makes sense)

I happen to know a fair bit about child psychology and I am always amazed at how kids adapt to their new surroundings at this sort of age

My kids are a similar age, and we live near Cambs

But, you only have one life, PLEASE dont look back in 10 years and wish that this was something you wish you had done, life's TOO SHORT!!!

thanks so much for your reply. I really feel very emotional about this all now because I can't understand why we have almost trapped ourselves here and haven't moved back to Perth when we had the chance and weren't so locked in. You are right life is short and I feel like we are at a cross roads....and I'm running out of time. The flight from Perth to Singapore was very hard!!! Perth life is amazing.

thanks so much for your reply. I really feel very emotional about this all now because I can't understand why we have almost trapped ourselves here and haven't moved back to Perth when we had the chance and weren't so locked in. You are right life is short and I feel like we are at a cross roads....and I'm running out of time. The flight from Perth to Singapore was very hard!!! Perth life is amazing.

Believe me, I share your pain, but think of it like this- you cannot live or change the past, however, what you do have control of is what you do in the future...

My children were 11 and 7 when we moved, both settled really well and the school assisted in that - my son was given two buddies on his first day at primary school (year 2) and is still best friends with them as he goes into year 11. Your children are certainly young enough for it not to hold you back. My daughter (21 next month) comments often that she's been glad to have had her teenage years here.

From what I've read, if you're Australian, do make sure you have UK citizenship before moving as if you want to return to live it makes it much easier.

Thanks Laz, what a positive response! How are your boys getting on at school, have they been accepted by the others? Sounds like you have found a good school. How did you feel personally moving back after 10 years? I have been in the UK nearly 16 years and have loved being part of British culture.....but I'm probably somewhere between British and Australian now, so in reality I would be starting again too making new friends and networking. Did you pick up where you left off with your Perth friendships? Did that help?

Boys are getting on great at school, and fitted in easily (younger one took his time as he's really shy, but he's doing better with friends here than in the UK). We are at a small (single stream) private (Catholic) school so I think that's helped them (and me) fit in. As for me...well, no, I didn't really pick up where I left off with my old friends. I still see my good friends but not that often (I've only seen a couple of them twice in a year). It's hard because we all live in different areas of Perth, different age kids, different schools.... and if I'm honest I'd say that only a couple of them have made any effort to see me. But, I am so busy now with the current school, kids, work (part time - first job in 6 yrs) and just doing stuff that I barely notice. [my husband is also from the UK - means we have less old friends here...] I won't say it was all easy. I still miss my life in the UK. It was a bit easier in some ways, but on the other hand I think I was a bit bored there. I had coffee friends and we'd meet for coffee prob 3 times a week. I don't have so many coffee buddies here but it's okay because I feel I'm a bit more productive doing other things. Sometime I just wish I could pop back to the UK....walk down to John Lewis...wear a big coat and hat.... But, they're only fleeting wishes as mainly I LOVE it here and I love that the kids look so much better....

Boys are getting on great at school, and fitted in easily (younger one took his time as he's really shy, but he's doing better with friends here than in the UK). We are at a small (single stream) private (Catholic) school so I think that's helped them (and me) fit in. As for me...well, no, I didn't really pick up where I left off with my old friends. I still see my good friends but not that often (I've only seen a couple of them twice in a year). It's hard because we all live in different areas of Perth, different age kids, different schools.... and if I'm honest I'd say that only a couple of them have made any effort to see me. But, I am so busy now with the current school, kids, work (part time - first job in 6 yrs) and just doing stuff that I barely notice. [my husband is also from the UK - means we have less old friends here...] I won't say it was all easy. I still miss my life in the UK. It was a bit easier in some ways, but on the other hand I think I was a bit bored there. I had coffee friends and we'd meet for coffee prob 3 times a week. I don't have so many coffee buddies here but it's okay because I feel I'm a bit more productive doing other things. Sometime I just wish I could pop back to the UK....walk down to John Lewis...wear a big coat and hat.... But, they're only fleeting wishes as mainly I LOVE it here and I love that the kids look so much better....

Thanks so much for your honesty - I feel like I know exactly what you are saying about John Lewis, Coffee mornings, reconnecting with old friends, big coats....catholic primary etc etc!! I just feel like I am at a turning point in my life where it is now or never while I still have little kids and we can make friends through school.....but I know it isn't going to be easy even though I am from Perth originally. I think we are on the verge of deciding to make the move, my husband is very keen especially as we get older and see things differently. I will miss my UK friends very much, but I think we are ready to give it all up, take a deep breath and start again. It feels like all the signs are pointing towards us moving. I'm interested in what you said about your kids going to a Catholic primary - that would be the route I would be looking to go down too so it is interesting you saying that it has worked out so well for you. Have you found the other Aussie mums quite welcoming, especially with you being from Perth originally?

Thanks for your advice re: Citizenship. The buddy system sounds great and I agree my children would probably love to have their teenage years somewhere a bit more buzzy than rural Sussex....I do worry that they will be bored here when they are slightly older.

Hi all, I'm a Perth girl currently living in the UK with my hubby and kiddies. We came out for a holiday over xmas for 3 weeks and had an amazing time.....my husband relaxed, soaked up the sun and my kids loved spending time with their grandparents and uncle. They are 5 and 7 and it is so much easier to fly back and forth now they are out of nappies/formula/push chair - we have been back and forth quite a few times since they were born but this time was so enjoyable and magical. It made both myself and my husband wonder what the hell we are doing living just outside London and feeling like we are up against it every day......we've since had conversations about selling up and moving back to Perth and my husband opening an Australasia office of his company....all possible.

 

Problem is, I feel perhaps my kids are a bit too old now to fit in with the Aussie kids and their way of life. Perhaps I've left it too late.....they have a great little set of friends and go to a very good school over here that we do pay for. I worry that if we moved them to an Aussie primary that they would be completely out of their depth and struggle to make friends. They don't have the same beach/aussie rules upbringing that I did when I grew up in Perth, so I know what it is like. All I want is for them to be happy and feel like they belong and I'm terrified I would put them on the back foot.

 

Does anyone have a similar experience bad or good? My hubby would leave the UK in a second if he could, he loves Australia, Perth in particular, my parents and the lifestyle. We both fell back in love with Perth this trip I think, because the kids are that much older we could enjoy ourselves more.

 

Not sure what to do!!

I have a similar dilemma, but mine are older. If you are going to do it, do it soon. My three are very happy and settled in Sussex, and they would hate me if I made them move. The eldest is at uni in three years, middle in four, so uni in Australia is an option if they want it then.

I know Australia for what it is, warts and all. For me, the UK is our best option for now. But we may give it a go when the kids are grown.

You have to weigh up the pros and cons. Personally, if it's not broke...

Thanks so much for your honesty - I feel like I know exactly what you are saying about John Lewis, Coffee mornings, reconnecting with old friends, big coats....catholic primary etc etc!! I just feel like I am at a turning point in my life where it is now or never while I still have little kids and we can make friends through school.....but I know it isn't going to be easy even though I am from Perth originally. I think we are on the verge of deciding to make the move, my husband is very keen especially as we get older and see things differently. I will miss my UK friends very much, but I think we are ready to give it all up, take a deep breath and start again. It feels like all the signs are pointing towards us moving. I'm interested in what you said about your kids going to a Catholic primary - that would be the route I would be looking to go down too so it is interesting you saying that it has worked out so well for you. Have you found the other Aussie mums quite welcoming, especially with you being from Perth originally?

Yes, everyone is welcoming....BUT it's a bit like in the UK, it takes time to get a bit more friendly with the mums other than a chat in the playground. It's easier if you can start at the school when you have a child in pre primary or year 1. I have made a nice group of friends in year 1, but not so many from my older son's class as it's quite cliquey as they've all been together for so long (they are all friendly but would never think to invite me to something that wasn't a school function....). That's the same at any school though, be it here or in the UK. Another family from the UK moved here at the same time as us (same class at school) so we're friendly with them. And my husband has joined a few dads from school for a weekly tennis game.... It takes time but we are definitely more social here than we were in the UK. It's easier to entertain when you can sit outdoors, and I often organise catch ups (school families and other friends) at the beach as the BBQ areas are so good and make it easy. We don't do nearly as many play dates here as we stay back after school about 3 times a week....there's always a group of us and on a nice day we'll stay until 4:30pm. One of the big pluses for us is that I have a large-ish family and they all live nearby - my kids love seeing their cousins which they rarely did in the UK. It's also meant I can go back to work. I had my kids names on the waiting list for after school club in the UK for two years.... With family here I've always got babysitters so I can work... If you want to ask any detail about school or anything else just message me. If you are thinking about doing it you need to get onto the visa process for your husband. It took ages for me to organise.....and also make sure your kids have citizenship by descent (good to have anyway).

Thanks for your advice re: Citizenship. The buddy system sounds great and I agree my children would probably love to have their teenage years somewhere a bit more buzzy than rural Sussex....I do worry that they will be bored here when they are slightly older.

My two are 16 and 20 now and we/they haven't had that problem although it will of course depend on individual children.

Mine are 8, 6 and 2, they haven't looked back and we've only been here 3 months. They made friends at school and have been hanging out over the holidays. Kids are so flexible at this age, I was concerned about my eldest but he's embracing a warm climate and joined new sport clubs. Of course they miss relatives from home but Skype does make it a bit easier these days. Go for it!

We went thru a similar thing - lived in Perth got bored, lived in uk gfc, back to Perth and thought no way would We leave, fast forward 7 yrs and now want to go back uk!!! Just do want you need to do and do it well so there are no excuses, at the end of the day you can return to the uk if it not work out.

Hi all, I'm a Perth girl currently living in the UK with my hubby and kiddies. We came out for a holiday over xmas for 3 weeks and had an amazing time.....my husband relaxed, soaked up the sun and my kids loved spending time with their grandparents and uncle. They are 5 and 7 and it is so much easier to fly back and forth now they are out of nappies/formula/push chair - we have been back and forth quite a few times since they were born but this time was so enjoyable and magical. It made both myself and my husband wonder what the hell we are doing living just outside London and feeling like we are up against it every day......we've since had conversations about selling up and moving back to Perth and my husband opening an Australasia office of his company....all possible.

 

Problem is, I feel perhaps my kids are a bit too old now to fit in with the Aussie kids and their way of life. Perhaps I've left it too late.....they have a great little set of friends and go to a very good school over here that we do pay for. I worry that if we moved them to an Aussie primary that they would be completely out of their depth and struggle to make friends. They don't have the same beach/aussie rules upbringing that I did when I grew up in Perth, so I know what it is like. All I want is for them to be happy and feel like they belong and I'm terrified I would put them on the back foot.

 

Does anyone have a similar experience bad or good? My hubby would leave the UK in a second if he could, he loves Australia, Perth in particular, my parents and the lifestyle. We both fell back in love with Perth this trip I think, because the kids are that much older we could enjoy ourselves more.

 

Not sure what to do!!

dont over think it just do it get them into sport have sleepovers it will work out.