Tara Posted September 20, 2013 Report Share Posted September 20, 2013 My husband has been offered a job in Perth, its something he has always wanted to do. I'm close to my family and have said no to emigrating for years, but in the last couple of months, I started to consider it, because iv heard great things about it from friends who have gone. So my husband started looking for work and got an offer pretty quickly. We have 3 young children under 7. The job includes visas and flights for us all. Its an amazing opportunity for my husband. But I feel like i'm only going for him. I am curious, because i've heard its a much better life for young families. Im looking at it as a 12 month trial period, then we will decide if we are staying. But my husband is so excited he would go tommorow and is unlikely to want to come home! We have discussed this and he says if I want to come back then we all will, at least we will have tried it. He will be on a 457 visa and we are not selling our house, going to rent it out. We have told family and nobody has been negative about it yet, but I cant help feeling i'm being selfish taking the kids away from grandparents. I know they will be devastated, we spend a lot of time with them. But if I don't give this a go my husband will be absolutely gutted. Any advice? Has anyone else been in this position? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loulou Posted September 20, 2013 Report Share Posted September 20, 2013 Hi I havnt been in your position because it was something we both wanted to do. It is a massive thing and you are being really brave with 3 young children. I would say as along as you both agree that if your not happy you return to the UK and just treat it as a long holiday. It is hard for grandparents , would they be able to visit ? Hopefully someone will be along who has been in your shoes and can offer a bit more advice Good luck Lou Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walkabout Posted September 20, 2013 Report Share Posted September 20, 2013 Hi, Not in exactly the same position, but I do have 3 young children under 7 (6, 5 and 3) and we are making the move in November. Going is something that has been playing on our minds for a long time now, we nearly did it 10 years ago before we had children (wouldn't that have been easier!) but for various reasons didn't. Now the opportunity has come round again, we are both on board with it, and have decided to grab it with both hands and see what happens. As people have said to me, planes go both ways, if we decide it's not for us, we can always come back, at least we will know and have tried it! Do I feel guilty about taking the children away from their Grandparents - hell yeah! but with technology such as it is now it is easier to keep in touch, and we know that they will come out to visit. I am very close to my mum, and feel terrible for her, but ultimately I know that we are making the right decision for our family at this point in time. If things change in the future, then we will re-evaluate and see what the right decision for those circumstances! Do you know where you will be going and when you are arriving? Good luck, its a scary time, but I think as long as you are both on the same page it will be fine! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fifi69 Posted September 20, 2013 Report Share Posted September 20, 2013 Nothing has to be forever if you don't want it to be. I think your right to at least try it for your husbands sake, but your also doing right by not selling but renting your house. You don't even need to bring anything other than suitcases, as long as you've a bit of money to buy a few bits and bobs to start you off. Plenty of places to get cheap furniture etc. As long as you throw yourself into the new lifestyle and culture, if you really can't settle then at least you both know that you've tried. If you do get really homesick and can't settle, it doesn't matter. Not everyone can or wants to take themselves away from the extended family. Don't put too much stress on yourself, just try and enjoy the experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted September 20, 2013 Report Share Posted September 20, 2013 I've been a moderator on this and our sister site for quite a few years and one of the patterns for difficulties is that one of the couple isn't really up for it and 'does it' for the other person which from the posts I've seen posted can often lead to difficulties down the line. If you're really not sure and only want it to be for a year - be up front and have a plan for when the 12 months is up, talk about if your hubby loves it and you hate it .. what happens then? Also take into consideration that education fees will be something to consider for 457 holders. Personally, we've never looked back since moving to WA ... but initially my hubby was more up for it than me - we didn't make the decision to move until we were both fully committed to it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verystormy Posted September 21, 2013 Report Share Posted September 21, 2013 There is one thing to consider. If after 12 months you want to go back and he doesn't then what? You can not simply go back as taking the children would require legal permission from him. You should also be aware that the 457 visa is a temp visa and tied to the job. So, if he loses his job, he has 90 days to find another or you all have to leave. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest10912 Posted September 21, 2013 Report Share Posted September 21, 2013 My husband has been offered a job in Perth, its something he has always wanted to do. I'm close to my family and have said no to emigrating for years, but in the last couple of months, I started to consider it, because iv heard great things about it from friends who have gone. So my husband started looking for work and got an offer pretty quickly. We have 3 young children under 7. The job includes visas and flights for us all. Its an amazing opportunity for my husband. But I feel like i'm only going for him. I am curious, because i've heard its a much better life for young families. Im looking at it as a 12 month trial period, then we will decide if we are staying. But my husband is so excited he would go tommorow and is unlikely to want to come home! We have discussed this and he says if I want to come back then we all will, at least we will have tried it. He will be on a 457 visa and we are not selling our house, going to rent it out. We have told family and nobody has been negative about it yet, but I cant help feeling i'm being selfish taking the kids away from grandparents. I know they will be devastated, we spend a lot of time with them. But if I don't give this a go my husband will be absolutely gutted. Any advice? Has anyone else been in this position? Firstly you are not emigrating on a 457 visa, it is important that you understand that as many people don't seem to and it can cause problems when lo and behold they find they need to leave before they are ready. At least in your case it might not be a bad thing. It is nonsense that Australia is "better for kids", if you were fleeing Afghanistan then yes I am sure it would be better or kids, but this is just swapping one first world country for another. The quality of life your children have is really down to you, not the country you are in. That is not to suggest that you would not be happy, of course many of us are happy that we made the move. But please do not move because of some notion that it is "better for kids". I don't know what to suggest in your case, it really depends on why you have come around to the idea in the last few months. I do think that it is common to have one partner more enthusiastic than the other, but I also believe that both need to be positive and up for it for this to be a success, doing it purely for someone else (be it a partner or hell even for the kids) is a recipe for disaster as far as I can ascertain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tara Posted September 21, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 21, 2013 Thank you all for replying, yes I am aware of the laws regarding children, but my husband insists if I'm unhappy we will come back. We have discussed it further and he is aware its a temporary visa and anything could happen, but then he has the company assuring him there's years of work and we must be commited to this move. When I mention my worries and all the what ifs, he just keeps saying I am being negative. I disagree, to me it would be stupid to do this without talking things through. I'm feeling a bit better about it today. Its happening and if it works out well great, if it doesn't we still have our home in uk. I think family will visit us, I certainly hope so! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nutnudger Posted September 21, 2013 Report Share Posted September 21, 2013 (edited) I don't think a year will be a long enough period for you to make your mind up on staying or going home, it will take some time for you and the family to get in to the swing of things out here and getting a home and getting settled in all takes time moving to WA is stressful anyone that says it isn't is kidding them selfs from my point of view ensure you and your OH are both on the same page when it comes to the move and under what conditions you would both look at moving back ensuring your both open and as clear with each othere as you can be, may well help him understand your point of view and may give you the reassurance you need to be happy with a move here best of luck Edited September 21, 2013 by Nutnudger Fat finger on the iPad Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
odies Posted September 21, 2013 Report Share Posted September 21, 2013 heard of to many divorces , be sure. And i agree ! year is no where near long enough . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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