Cornishpoms Posted January 3, 2014 Report Share Posted January 3, 2014 Reassurance needed please!! we've been here almost ten wks now. Hubby has had trouble adjusting and my daughter struggles some days. Myself....well I try not to think of home to much, but when I do I'm starting to find being away hard. But it's my son that's my main concern!! He's 13 and really wanted to come. But ever since Xmas he's been really homesick. Begging to go back to the uk.... It's been really hard. He started school and done 6wks before the holidays, but is finding it hard to meet up with friends and socialise. So all 4 of us are struggling. Please tell me it gets better?!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mummytummy Posted January 3, 2014 Report Share Posted January 3, 2014 (edited) It takes time but it does get better. For us it has taken about 6 months, we've had tears and tantrums (and that's just me) eldest (17) is now settled, youngest (14) still wants to go back to UK but think he is torn between UK and WA he likes the lifestyle to a degree but misses family and friends back home still. From before landing I had the I want to go back, don't want to be here/like it her etc., slowly that's easing off to about once/twice a week now lol! he is getting a circle of friends but still spends time on facebook/xbox talking to friends "back home" he's not keen on school system here but that's something else!! Other half loves it and wouldn't go back for all the tea in china, for now we're trying to enjoy it as much as we can and take each day as it comes, but yes it does get better it just takes time Edited January 3, 2014 by mummytummy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lou8670 Posted January 3, 2014 Report Share Posted January 3, 2014 Do you think it's a state of mind? I really don't want to feel homesick but dreading that I will after committing so much money and my kids losing their places at 2 great schools. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
odies Posted January 3, 2014 Report Share Posted January 3, 2014 Lou I know exactly what you mean <not the children > bit , but the money and the house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beandownunder Posted January 3, 2014 Report Share Posted January 3, 2014 I can't answer your question, but do send hugs (( )) J xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lou8670 Posted January 3, 2014 Report Share Posted January 3, 2014 Cornishpoms Sending you big hugs and hope the homesickness subsides soon. I'm not sure what advise I can give but maybe having some quality time together may help. Perhaps a weekend away or day trip out. OxoxoxO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verystormy Posted January 3, 2014 Report Share Posted January 3, 2014 It takes time and the homesick stage is very normal. The 13 year old will find it easier once he is back at school. Christmas is a funny time here for many as it is when we tend to miss family and friends most. Once you start to think of this as home,then it will help. But it does pass. Just give it time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plimthing Posted January 3, 2014 Report Share Posted January 3, 2014 I know exactly where you are coming from. My two kids seem to love it here (age 2 & 6), my wife and I on the other hand are desperate for a return ticket. I find my job boring, repetative and dull, my wife works part time and pays half her money out on child care. She has been stiffed with working Saturdays which totally kills our plans of an adventure every two weeks camping in WA when i am off at weekends. Then the homesick things kick in on top off all this, skype and phone calls home seem to help my wife for a while but eventually it gets to her. Her only friends were at a playgroup she went once a week to, now stopped due to her other working days. She doesnt want to quit work as it is her only escape from being a stay at home mom which she never wanted to be. Apart from that its great Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest9824 Posted January 4, 2014 Report Share Posted January 4, 2014 Reassurance needed please!!we've been here almost ten wks now. Hubby has had trouble adjusting and my daughter struggles some days. Myself....well I try not to think of home to much, but when I do I'm starting to find being away hard. But it's my son that's my main concern!! He's 13 and really wanted to come. But ever since Xmas he's been really homesick. Begging to go back to the uk.... It's been really hard. He started school and done 6wks before the holidays, but is finding it hard to meet up with friends and socialise. So all 4 of us are struggling. Please tell me it gets better?!! Hi CPs and firstly can't believe you have been here that length of time already. I am assuming it's been a very busy time for you all. It doesn't seem uncommon for people to feel like this especially around the 3 month mark. Even us seasoned visitors to Australia have had huge bouts of homesickness. The reality of actually realising you now live here takes a while to hit home, as the first few weeks are filled with things to do, keeping your minds occupied, no time to sit and ponder or miss people. There is also all the stress you go through leaving your life in the UK too, it consumes you, and I honestly think when you get here, there is some sort of pressure valve that seems to reach 'boiling point' around the 3 month mark, and all the stress, worry anxieties just get released and you wonder what the heck has just happened....I felt exactly the same, and my sister who went through the same thing when she emigrated 30 years ago, just said, 'these feelings won't last forever, they WILL pass' and she was right! My mantra was 'that life we left in the UK was gone, this was our new life' . Try to skype as much as you can, and maybe organise family to come out to visit, something for you all to plan and look forward to. it might make a difference. One of my girls started school at the end of the last term and it was hard for her too over the Christmas holidays, but once they went back in the February she made lots of new friends. I think school does give the kids the structure that they need to settle here, so it is hard to have a huge break from it over the Christmas holidays as friendships haven't necessarily been made yet! Maybe take yourselves off for a family picnic up to Kingd Park overlooking the city, and have a good family chat, talk through all your thoughts and fears and maybe things won't seem so bad after all, lots of luck to you all! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fifi69 Posted January 4, 2014 Report Share Posted January 4, 2014 It is normal....wether it gets better or not? for some it does but for others those feelings just don't go... You do need to give it more time though just to be sure either way.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
portlaunay Posted January 4, 2014 Report Share Posted January 4, 2014 Of course it's 'normal' listen to all those ^ loons who've been in exactly the same place as you Look, it's a beautiful weekend so embrace Perth and go do something different. Hire some kayaks and have a paddle on the river, there's a Groupon voucher this week for cheap kite surfing lessons, there's a protest against the shark cull in Cottesloe today, there's the fantastic Bather's Beach food market tonight in Freo (we'll be there, we always are ), tomorrow there's the free Sunday music event at the Fremantle Arts Centre, http://fac.org.au/events/391/sunday-music-the-funk-club-house-band?pid=141, do it, it's awesome even if you live a long way away, drive to South Perth and walk along the river with the city across the water, it's beautiful, come into Freo and hire bikes from Creatures or The Roasting House and explore, go to the Maritime Museum and go on a tour of the submarine, go fishing, get to Tackle World, buy some crab nets ($10 each) and catch some Blue Swimmers for dinner, take a drive into the hills and stare in wonderment at the beauty of the city, pack up a picnic and drive up to Lancelin and surf the dunes, drive East into the night, stop in the middle of nowhere and feel totally in awe by the view of stars from horizon to horizon. My point is, there are loads of things going on here all the time and most are free. You are now living in one of the most amazing places on earth but that's only true if you allow it to be. I know it can be hard to pick yourselves up when you're down but the first step in doing so is to do something different. Friendly rant over, sorry, I sometimes feel like this guy; Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scot01 Posted January 4, 2014 Report Share Posted January 4, 2014 As Peanuts said, it is very common around the three month mark. The holiday feeling goes away and you realise you live here and are not on holiday. Google culture shock and you will see it is what you are experiencing. There a are lots of diagrams under google images that explain it. I think your son will find it hard as he wasn't in school long enough to develop friendship group but that will change in when school goes back. You'll also find that as this is the long school holiday, everyone disappears off on holiday. It's a normal phase, it will get better, keep telling yourself that! X Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verystormy Posted January 4, 2014 Report Share Posted January 4, 2014 Something that I found was that I never really felt settled living in a rental. It wasn't until we committed to our own place - the build will start next month - that I finally felt like I was home. Also, don't Skype / email or anything too much back to the UK. This is home now. Not there. Concentrate instead on making this home. I know that was one of my mistakes. My wife has never kept in touch too much with the UK - maybe once a month maximum. I was emailing and sky ping mates every day. The result was she felt at home here while I was still mentally in the UK. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StraighttothePoint Posted January 4, 2014 Report Share Posted January 4, 2014 Why did you bother to come here......? Ask yourself that and then remind yourselves of the main reasons over and over again. Listening to others in the same boat telling you either it will be ok, the homesickness will pass or similar may give you a small amount of comfort but the bottom line could be that you need to dust yourselves down, pull your socks up, tell each other why you wanted this so much and go out and make it work. Perhaps getting your heads round it and facing it head on will be a better form of attack. Also, as Porty says, getting out and about and doing things no matter what it is will hopefully move you all in the right direction. Keep busy here, do new things and give it a go and sure it will help overall to get you further down the road. Sorry bit of tough love there but it was either that or saying it will be fine, hugs, don't fret and stuff like that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StraighttothePoint Posted January 4, 2014 Report Share Posted January 4, 2014 I know exactly where you are coming from. My two kids seem to love it here (age 2 & 6), my wife and I on the other hand are desperate for a return ticket. I find my job boring, repetative and dull, my wife works part time and pays half her money out on child care. She has been stiffed with working Saturdays which totally kills our plans of an adventure every two weeks camping in WA when i am off at weekends. Then the homesick things kick in on top off all this, skype and phone calls home seem to help my wife for a while but eventually it gets to her. Her only friends were at a playgroup she went once a week to, now stopped due to her other working days. She doesnt want to quit work as it is her only escape from being a stay at home mom which she never wanted to be. Apart from that its great A really interesting read Plim and it is good for others to get an insight into life for some people here because we all know that it is not all peaches and cream. I really get where you are coming from because when my wife started at Coles a way back they tried the same tactics, i.e. last in, worst shifts. Thankfully my wife saw that move coming, tactfully repelled all borders and ended up with shifts that saw her only ever having to work Mondays to Thursdays. Having that three day weekend made a huge difference to living here and really helped us all. (Being a bit older may have helped because she was seen as part of Coles quota whereby they have to employ a certain number of older workers. That here in many cases means over 45 by the way Scary eh....) Oh and be careful if you buy a return ticket you will end up back here If it all falls apart and you want to go back buy singles Good luck though and hope you can get over it all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kerry267 Posted January 4, 2014 Report Share Posted January 4, 2014 Hi, I definitely think your son will feel better once he's back at school. I came over in July and my 13 year old daughter kept saying she would go back to the UK as soon as she finished school. After her first 4 weeks at school she felt happier about being here and now after being in school for the whole of last term she loves it. I think it took that time not only to build up some friends but to lose the 'new girl' feeling. Right from the start she could see the benefits of living here but it didn't feel like home. She still keeps in touch with her friends in the uk but not as much. I've also encouraged her to get back into her hobby which is horse riding and that has helped too. I fully expected to feel homesick as I've always lived close to my family but I surprisingly have had very little. I had a week where I wasn't feeling well so I didn't go out much and I felt very isolated but that feeling passed as soon as I felt well again. I think once we eventually buy our own house I will feel fully settled. I did google culture shock before coming over here as I was really expecting to find it tough and I think maybe knowing it was something that effects most people to some degree and that its completely normal helped. Hang in there as I'm sure it will get better with time and especially when the school term starts again.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plimthing Posted January 4, 2014 Report Share Posted January 4, 2014 Cheers, its a real pig at moment. I want to make it work, but the great outdoors life isnt happening as we dont get chance. Im off today, my wife works, kind of buggers the weekend up! I might take Ports advice and drive out east to the middle of nowhere and look at the stars, kids would like that. I also think its too easy out here compared to when we lived abroad last time. We used to live in SLovenia which is totally different language, culture, environment, weather you name it. Here everything is exactly the same except a splashing of americanism the ozzies have adopted to break away from there Imperial roots. Oh well, back to the gardening ready for the over enthusiastic rental inspection on thursday, joy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jkm Posted January 4, 2014 Report Share Posted January 4, 2014 Hi Cornish poms we arrived 4 weeks after you so can't really offer advice bit really hope the home sickness subsides for you guys. I'm sure with Christmas having just been, it's exacerbated you missing your family as well as the school holidays. I think we are near to you as we are in mindarie so if you fancy meeting up pm me. Our children are 7 and 4. Cath Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
portlaunay Posted January 4, 2014 Report Share Posted January 4, 2014 Cheers, its a real pig at moment. I want to make it work, but the great outdoors life isnt happening as we dont get chance. Im off today, my wife works, kind of buggers the weekend up! I might take Ports advice and drive out east to the middle of nowhere and look at the stars, kids would like that. I also think its too easy out here compared to when we lived abroad last time. We used to live in SLovenia which is totally different language, culture, environment, weather you name it. Here everything is exactly the same except a splashing of americanism the ozzies have adopted to break away from there Imperial roots. Oh well, back to the gardening ready for the over enthusiastic rental inspection on thursday, joy. To you, Plim and all those others in a similar position ask yourselves would it be any different in any other country in the world? Barring a Lotto win most of us have to work at some point and whilst a lot have found their element most of us work to pay the rent. This means that every day is as you describe and less than inspiring so why not face those issues here in WA? You're housebuilding but let's face it, you're no builder so it's a hard slog and a steep learning curve. When you start looking for your block you have all these dreams about the finished home but it's very difficult to fully comprehend the journey that you'll go on to realise it. Give yourselves a break, you've only just started clearing the rubbish out and stripping back. You've got groundworks and footings to put in yet before you even begin to see it coming together and remember, most have no experience of this and there's no rulebook. Everyone has an opinion and even the experts offer conflicting advice so where on earth do you turn? It's a challenge. It's going to be hard, really hard but little steps guys. Take a break, crack a beer and pat yourselves on the back for getting this far, seriously, do you know how many people are too scared to even begin the journey? The term 'get over it' doesn't apply, you have to get through it, there's no circumnavigating this so do as Sttp says and tackle it head on, no matter how hard that might be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest9824 Posted January 4, 2014 Report Share Posted January 4, 2014 Of course it's 'normal' listen to all those ^ loons who've been in exactly the same place as you Look, it's a beautiful weekend so embrace Perth and go do something different. Hire some kayaks and have a paddle on the river, there's a Groupon voucher this week for cheap kite surfing lessons, there's a protest against the shark cull in Cottesloe today, there's the fantastic Bather's Beach food market tonight in Freo (we'll be there, we always are ), tomorrow there's the free Sunday music event at the Fremantle Arts Centre, http://fac.org.au/events/391/sunday-music-the-funk-club-house-band?pid=141, do it, it's awesome even if you live a long way away, drive to South Perth and walk along the river with the city across the water, it's beautiful, come into Freo and hire bikes from Creatures or The Roasting House and explore, go to the Maritime Museum and go on a tour of the submarine, go fishing, get to Tackle World, buy some crab nets ($10 each) and catch some Blue Swimmers for dinner, take a drive into the hills and stare in wonderment at the beauty of the city, pack up a picnic and drive up to Lancelin and surf the dunes, drive East into the night, stop in the middle of nowhere and feel totally in awe by the view of stars from horizon to horizon. My point is, there are loads of things going on here all the time and most are free. You are now living in one of the most amazing places on earth but that's only true if you allow it to be. I know it can be hard to pick yourselves up when you're down but the first step in doing so is to do something different. Friendly rant over, sorry, I sometimes feel like this guy; Dropped in to the bathers beach food market tonight Porty, very good. Got my Polish donut (he is at the hawkers markets in Perth too) ...didn't see you there, or did we? ...you weren't playing the keyboard and singing 'house of the rising sun'? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akasully2 Posted January 4, 2014 Report Share Posted January 4, 2014 Hi cornishpoms. After reading so many of your earlier posts about being nervous but excited about moving to Perth, it is sad to read you are not feeling so great now. I'm dreading feeling like that. Regardless of how enthusiastic and confident people are of the move, no one can tell how they will react once there. I think you should read back through all your old posts. It will be like reading your own diary, reading why you wanted to do it, what benefits it would bring you, what you didn't like back in the UK. You had a huge project going on to get the visas, all that pulled you together, gave you focus. Maybe you need to do that again by planning those days out. Just remember that nothing is for ever. Things will pass. The dark clouds will blow over. When things are getting us down when driving in the car with the boys, I get us all to play the glad game. We all have to go round, one by one in turn saying what they are glad about. Initially, I usually feel so wound up by sitting in a traffic jam that I feel hard to see anything positive. But gradually I start to defrost and realise how lucky we are. It might just be that I'm glad I don't need a wee! Maybe you could all play it, or write a list of all the things you are glad about. Another time you could write down all the challenges you are finding. Next to them write what you would need to overcome them, i.e. Make two close friends, etc. then you could make some achievable steps that you could do to try and make that happen. Again, i.e. when back at school, ask some class mates over to hang out together. Once the little steps have been achieved tick them off and see the progress. Hopefully then you can add them to your glad list! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
portlaunay Posted January 9, 2014 Report Share Posted January 9, 2014 Reassurance needed please!!we've been here almost ten wks now. Hubby has had trouble adjusting and my daughter struggles some days. Myself....well I try not to think of home to much, but when I do I'm starting to find being away hard. But it's my son that's my main concern!! He's 13 and really wanted to come. But ever since Xmas he's been really homesick. Begging to go back to the uk.... It's been really hard. He started school and done 6wks before the holidays, but is finding it hard to meet up with friends and socialise. So all 4 of us are struggling. Please tell me it gets better?!! How are you guys doing now? You haven't been on since this thread so I hope all is okay with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
odies Posted January 9, 2014 Report Share Posted January 9, 2014 Good question porty, hope you are feeling better cornish poms x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beandownunder Posted January 15, 2014 Report Share Posted January 15, 2014 just wondering how you are doing? take care xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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