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Accept the offer or not???


travelchic

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Ok, so you're all probably aware that my house is on the market. Wasn't getting many viewers so reduced the by 5k. Since then I've had loads of viewers plus a cheeky offer which I declined. Since then, the same couple have submitted a revised offer which is better, but still not brill. I have to split the money with Jonny's dad.

 

last night Jonny's dad said I can sell the house at what I want and gave me a figure that he wants to walk away with. The figure he's given me means I'll walk away with more than him if I accept the offer. And it's a figure I'll be happy with.

 

My question is (stay with me) why am I not phoning the estate agent to accept the offer? I am currently sitting on my bum watching Cartoon Network with Jonny when I could be cleaning out the loft or garage and getting ready to move. Or I could be writing out my resignation letter. Or I could be writing a list of things I need to remember (I'm a list freak). But I'm not doing any of those things. I'm just sat here.

 

What's wrong with me? I've got what I wanted. A buyer. But I don't want to phone them. I don't understand. I feel a bit confused. Help.

 

Debs

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Hmm. . .well making a decision like this is a massive leap isn't it. And once you've said 'yes' if that's what you do (and it sounds like you're rightly thinking about it) it'll mean you'll finally have to get on and do the big and scary stuff of actually making the move/quitting your job etc. Perhaps it's the case that up until now you've known you can't do anything until a buyer says 'yes', this has meant that everything else has pretty much been taken out of your hands. But now if you accept the offer it means that the move is full reality and there's lots of pretty scary (but definitely exciting) stuff that will you have to do.

 

I'm guessing that before the 'yes' you were excitedly thinking about the move and how you'd get everything done. Accepting the offer will mean the wheels will be in motion and they'll be no turning back. Thinking about what we want and actioning them can be two very different experiences.

 

Just my thoughts and well done for getting a strong offer :biggrin:

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yeay you sold! I was exactly the same when we got an offer, we completed last month. I was so apprehensive to accept the offer. I kept thinking Ive made a massive mistake. But the buzz I have at the min at the thought of being able to out there doesnt compare. Plus I think Im always guna have to work n we will make more money in the future. You only live once n Id rather do it where my SADs doesnt kick in every september lol xxx Go for it huni!

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Ok. Well I'm off this week. Not had time off since summer. Been working 50 plus hour weeks too and I'm tired. Plus keeping the house clean and tidy (a viewer can come anytime I'm not there with the agent) has taken its toll. I really am worn out. I'll enjoy my time off then call them at the end of the week to accept. I feel upset. Don't know why. This is hard on your own.

 

maybe I just need a good nights sleep.

 

Debs

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Have you read 'The sensible girl's guide to emigrating elegantly' Debs?

 

I literally just finished it and it was pretty fantastic. It takes you through all the stages of emigration, from planning to making the move to being there. It offers both frank and humorous takes on things and goes through the emotions you might feel at various points. I definitely recommend it.

 

The only thing which could be improved is that it's a bit sexist in only focusing on a woman's perspective (to be honest I didn't notice til my OH pointed it out) it's a shame too as most of the points would be relevant to either gender.

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Have you read 'The sensible girl's guide to emigrating elegantly' Debs?

 

I literally just finished it and it was pretty fantastic. It takes you through all the stages of emigration, from planning to making the move to being there. It offers both frank and humorous takes on things and goes through the emotions you might feel at various points. I definitely recommend it.

 

The only thing which could be improved is that it's a bit sexist in only focusing on a woman's perspective (to be honest I didn't notice til my OH pointed it out) it's a shame too as most of the points would be relevant to either gender.

 

Im doing this on my own so a woman's perspective is good. Thanks for your earlier post. Been thinking about what you said and I think you're right. I've never really felt any of the emotional wobbles that others mention and I'm leaving 2 kids behind. Thought that I might just have a swinging brick instead of a heart. I think by accepting the offer I'm realising that this is it. I am actually going to be leaving my kids behind for a new life. They both have their own house and jobs and girlfriends and lives. And they don't wanna come. Omg I'm scared. Think I'm gonna defrost a fish from the freezer and slap myself with it!!!

 

Beany, I've now done a list and am gonna phone the estate agent in the morning x x

 

millar, I think I've got sads lol. It's such a miserable day here today. Grey skies all day long with drizzle. Don't ya just hate drizzle. The only exception is lemon drizzle mind ha ha.

 

im feeling better now. Thanks guys. Wobble over.

 

Debs

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Hey, before you phone the agent ask yourself if part of feeling down is because you think the offer is still cheeky and a bit of an insult. There is no harm in saying that you are looking for more. Suggest a higher figure and be prepared to negotiate from there. Why sell lower than it is worth? You may be getting a larger chunk from the ex but it could be even more if you hold out. If they say no, leave it a few days, play it cool then go back with a reduced amount you are willing to accept or accept their last offer. One thing is for sure, this is your one chance to get the best price for your house. You could always use the old chestnut of having someone else having a second viewing/making an offer, for a bit of a push.

 

We had an offer but said we were really looking for more. I told the agent who got us what we wanted. Happy days.

 

Enjoy your week off.

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Im doing this on my own so a woman's perspective is good. Thanks for your earlier post. Been thinking about what you said and I think you're right. I've never really felt any of the emotional wobbles that others mention and I'm leaving 2 kids behind. Thought that I might just have a swinging brick instead of a heart. I think by accepting the offer I'm realising that this is it. I am actually going to be leaving my kids behind for a new life. They both have their own house and jobs and girlfriends and lives. And they don't wanna come. Omg I'm scared. Think I'm gonna defrost a fish from the freezer and slap myself with it!!!

 

Beany, I've now done a list and am gonna phone the estate agent in the morning x x

 

millar, I think I've got sads lol. It's such a miserable day here today. Grey skies all day long with drizzle. Don't ya just hate drizzle. The only exception is lemon drizzle mind ha ha.

 

im feeling better now. Thanks guys. Wobble over.

 

Debs

 

 

so glad your feeling much better now debs. its so overwhelming this whole process, i felt like i was going mad until last night, when i made lots of lists of stuff to do, good luck with your house sale, hope it goes through nice and quick for you and you will be on that plane !!

xx

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Hi Deb

 

Good luck made up for you. I have wobbles most days its so hard giving up every think and leaving your family. You seem a strong person and the name helps ha ha You just think of the sun and lovely walks in the sunshine. I have noticed you are from Widnes not far from us we live Merseyside. Still waiting to get a offer on our house. When you hoping to book flights?

 

Deb

 

Im doing this on my own so a woman's perspective is good. Thanks for your earlier post. Been thinking about what you said and I think you're right. I've never really felt any of the emotional wobbles that others mention and I'm leaving 2 kids behind. Thought that I might just have a swinging brick instead of a heart. I think by accepting the offer I'm realising that this is it. I am actually going to be leaving my kids behind for a new life. They both have their own house and jobs and girlfriends and lives. And they don't wanna come. Omg I'm scared. Think I'm gonna defrost a fish from the freezer and slap myself with it!!!

 

Beany, I've now done a list and am gonna phone the estate agent in the morning x x

 

millar, I think I've got sads lol. It's such a miserable day here today. Grey skies all day long with drizzle. Don't ya just hate drizzle. The only exception is lemon drizzle mind ha ha.

 

im feeling better now. Thanks guys. Wobble over.

 

Debs

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Hi Deb

 

Good luck made up for you. I have wobbles most days its so hard giving up every think and leaving your family. You seem a strong person and the name helps ha ha You just think of the sun and lovely walks in the sunshine. I have noticed you are from Widnes not far from us we live Merseyside. Still waiting to get a offer on our house. When you hoping to book flights?

 

Deb

 

hi deb. Think I'll hold off the flights until I've got the money in the bank from the sale of the house. Wouldn't want to book flights and the sale goes boobs up. I'm gonna take akasullys advice and try and negotiate a bit more. The couple who want it are first time buyers so no chain which is good.

 

How long has your house been on the market? Don't you just hate viewings.

 

Debs

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Guest guest9824
Ok, so you're all probably aware that my house is on the market. Wasn't getting many viewers so reduced the by 5k. Since then I've had loads of viewers plus a cheeky offer which I declined. Since then, the same couple have submitted a revised offer which is better, but still not brill. I have to split the money with Jonny's dad.

 

last night Jonny's dad said I can sell the house at what I want and gave me a figure that he wants to walk away with. The figure he's given me means I'll walk away with more than him if I accept the offer. And it's a figure I'll be happy with.

 

My question is (stay with me) why am I not phoning the estate agent to accept the offer? I am currently sitting on my bum watching Cartoon Network with Jonny when I could be cleaning out the loft or garage and getting ready to move. Or I could be writing out my resignation letter. Or I could be writing a list of things I need to remember (I'm a list freak). But I'm not doing any of those things. I'm just sat here.

 

What's wrong with me? I've got what I wanted. A buyer. But I don't want to phone them. I don't understand. I feel a bit confused. Help.

 

Debs

 

ahhh Debs I think it's probs realisation setting in and a bit of disbelief too. You have come so far, and this is a huge result. It happens to lots of people, I remember sitting in my empty house remembering bringing my second child home to that house when she was born, the only home she had ever known, and all the memories. I'd take the money Debs, it's a signnnnnnn! :). Best of luck

 

peax

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ahhh Debs I think it's probs realisation setting in and a bit of disbelief too. You have come so far, and this is a huge result. It happens to lots of people, I remember sitting in my empty house remembering bringing my second child home to that house when she was born, the only home she had ever known, and all the memories. I'd take the money Debs, it's a signnnnnnn! :). Best of luck

 

peax

 

Thanks pea. I feel better this morning. I don't really get emotional often. Don't know what was wrong with me yesterday, unless I'm due the dreaded curse lol. Going to phone the estate agents today and ask for a bit more. My heart says let the couple have it. They're young and first time buyers. But my head says no, I need a bit more for jonny and I.

 

Then I think of the karma train. My friend once helped me out financially and wouldn't accept the money back. She said its yours to use because you need it. She said that people have helped her out in the past and now it was her turn to help someone out because she was in a position to do so. She said that in the future, I will be able to do the same thing for someone else. And to never forget that the karma train gets everyone, good or bad.

 

If if I sell it for just a little bit more, they are still getting a bargain, £10k less than the listed price.

 

Debs

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Debs, is this their first offer, second or final offer? They are first time buyers so they will feel they are in a strong position but if they like the house and it's their first offer you may be able to eek a bit more out of them.

 

Get that agent of yours doing his/her job! They should have been able to suss out the potential buyers position and know whether a bit more is possible.

 

Good luck!

 

Lou x

Edited by Lou8670
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Guest guest9824
Thanks pea. I feel better this morning. I don't really get emotional often. Don't know what was wrong with me yesterday, unless I'm due the dreaded curse lol. Going to phone the estate agents today and ask for a bit more. My heart says let the couple have it. They're young and first time buyers. But my head says no, I need a bit more for jonny and I.

 

Then I think of the karma train. My friend once helped me out financially and wouldn't accept the money back. She said its yours to use because you need it. She said that people have helped her out in the past and now it was her turn to help someone out because she was in a position to do so. She said that in the future, I will be able to do the same thing for someone else. And to never forget that the karma train gets everyone, good or bad.

 

If if I sell it for just a little bit more, they are still getting a bargain, £10k less than the listed price.

 

Debs

 

I'm confused most of the time Debs, it doesn't take much...do what feels right :wacko:...errmmmmm in your confused state! Lol

 

peax

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Thanks pea. I feel better this morning. I don't really get emotional often. Don't know what was wrong with me yesterday, unless I'm due the dreaded curse lol. Going to phone the estate agents today and ask for a bit more. My heart says let the couple have it. They're young and first time buyers. But my head says no, I need a bit more for jonny and I.

 

Then I think of the karma train. My friend once helped me out financially and wouldn't accept the money back. She said its yours to use because you need it. She said that people have helped her out in the past and now it was her turn to help someone out because she was in a position to do so. She said that in the future, I will be able to do the same thing for someone else. And to never forget that the karma train gets everyone, good or bad.

 

If if I sell it for just a little bit more, they are still getting a bargain, £10k less than the listed price.

 

Debs

 

i like the karma train thing Debs, very true.

 

why not ask for an additional amount which would equate to the cost of flights? if they don't agree then snap off their hand with the original offer :-)

worth a try.....

 

have a good day,

J xxx

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How much more would make you feel comfortable? If you push for an extra £1000 would that make it better for you? £2000? £5000? At what point will it end?

If you think the higher figure is going to scare them off then you'll be so gutted if it falls through.

I'd go with karma every time. Pay it forward, this could be their dream house, their first time on the ladder, the place where they begin or settle their family. For me that would always be more valuable than an extra few grand, money that really won't make much of a difference one you've been here a few months. If you have it, you'll only spend it.

 

If you were expecting to bring £50k with you and because of your ex's offer you'll be bringing £52k, what's the point in pushing for more?

 

Kooky may be right. All this while you've been coasting to this point, it's all been about energy and excitement at moving towards the edge of the precipice but now it's serious. Do you jump or turn around and go back? No shame in that. Do what's right for you.

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Karma train is very true. However, you are selling your house not giving a loan to a friend. Get the agent to suss them out and get a fair price for it. It is only worth what someone is willing to pay. You are not being greedy, you are just selling your house for market value. A fair price that both sides are happy with.

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This is one of the moments that for me made the move very real, the visa didn't but selling my house did ... bloody hell I thought this is it. We'd raised our children in the house and had so many memories wrapped up in it, that it was a bit of a wrench. My daughter and I sat in an empty house on the stairs and I was crying ... she told me (at 11), home is where we're all together mum.

 

Hard to let go ... but think of the adventure that awaits you.

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