Catriona McKay Posted March 17, 2014 Report Share Posted March 17, 2014 I wish somebody could make the decision for us and tell us it's going to be worth it. It's so much money to gamble with. Some days I think stuff it life is too short lets go! then other days I think **** it's too much to think about and pay for and the stress kicks in. It's wearing me down now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SJT Posted March 17, 2014 Report Share Posted March 17, 2014 Oh if only someone could make that decision for you how much easier life would be. I remember when we were in the middle of sorting everything out, and I was having a wobble, which tends to happen quite a lot to quite a few people in the process of moving to the other side of the World, my aunt, who I adore and I trust whole heartedly, who really did not want me to move, but knew I had to do what was best for my family, sat me down and after I asked her the very same questions you have just brought up, she said what if I said you can't move, you have to stay here, what is your first gut feeling, and mine was I would be devastated. So there was my answer. That even though this was the biggest gamble of my life and it could have cost me my marriage, money and sanity, the thought of not coming filled me with dread. I never wanted to leave the UK I had a pretty good life and could not see why it needed changing, it was never my idea to say lets move, but my husband was not happy working all the hours god sends and said there must be a better life, and luckily for us, we have found it. Don't get me wrong it has been hard financially and emotionally, but I love our new life here and would not change it for the World. Maybe you need to ask yourself if someone said you could not come you had to stay where you are, would your first feelings be relief or devastated and that may help, but just remember whatever you decide, if you do come and it does not work out, you can go back, Perth is not Mars, once here, you don't have to stay if it really is not for your liking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
odies Posted March 17, 2014 Report Share Posted March 17, 2014 funny because when you think you have made the decision you start to see everything in a different light and get the wobbles. We to thought the money was to much nearly a mortgage to some people, but to have the chance well grab it with both hands. If you do not like it then you can always come back.But if is a huge word. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest9824 Posted March 18, 2014 Report Share Posted March 18, 2014 I wish somebody could make the decision for us and tell us it's going to be worth it. It's so much money to gamble with. Some days I think stuff it life is too short lets go! then other days I think **** it's too much to think about and pay for and the stress kicks in. It's wearing me down now Hi Catriona, i think the upshot is you can read as much info as you like and ask as many questions as you can, which is great to be well informed, but at the end of the day, these are the opinions and experiences of others, and only when you live here and work, rest and play here, will you know if it's right or not. SJT makes some great points, and Odies too is right, you may have to jump right in and see what happens. Best of luck, pea Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rossmoyne Posted March 18, 2014 Report Share Posted March 18, 2014 Catriona you would not be normal if you weren't having thoughts like these. Emigrating is a huge life decision and not one to make lightly. However, it is something that is undoable if you find it isn't for you. Yes you will lose money and perhaps your career might take a hiccup along the way, but how would you feel later in life if you had had the opportunity and didn't take it? No-one can make the decision for you - we have all had to make that decision for ourselves, whether it has been proven to be the right one for us or not. Can you not come for a holiday first to make sure that it would be worth making the decision to give it a try? I know so many people do come to Oz, sight unseen, but I also know that many others need to come and have a look-see before they finally commit. Odies, SJT and Peanuts all make valid points and I agree with all that they say. Best wishes..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verystormy Posted March 18, 2014 Report Share Posted March 18, 2014 I think what you have to do is decide why you want to do it. What is driving you to want to move to the other side of the world. Then you need to see if the reason is valid. For example, i always remember replying to a post a couple of years ago from someone who was convinced that Oz would be so much better for his children because there was no booze culture, drugs there were no drugs and life was like living in some sort of dream. Pointing out that Oz was not what he thought it was was actually a shock. Some want to move because they think it will be a better work life balance. For some it is, but for others its no different and for some worse. Some want the weather - which is a big factor, but then find its too hot. So, what i am trying to say, decide what you hope this will do for you and check to see if it will Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mackie7722 Posted March 18, 2014 Report Share Posted March 18, 2014 Wow . Bless you I could have written this statement myself. My husband is willing to give it a go. He works long hours at night and wants to give this opportunity a go. I however am quite happy with our life here and am very settled. It will also be me that ultimately has to make the application and probably sort out the whole move. There are no easy answers but other have raised very good and interesting points. You will never know for sure unless you try it personally and if you dont give it a go will you always be left wondering what if? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catriona McKay Posted April 17, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 17, 2014 I wish somebody could make the decision for us and tell us it's going to be worth it. It's so much money to gamble with. Some days I think stuff it life is too short lets go! then other days I think **** it's too much to think about and pay for and the stress kicks in. It's wearing me down now Thank you all so much for taking the time to reply, you all made great points. We have just signed up with an agency to start the visa process. I am exciting and really nervous at the same time. I know it's not going to be easy but we have an opportunity that we don't want to miss. Luckily we have friends in Perth who will support us when we arrive. It seems like such a long process to go through and I'm sure it will be stressful, here's hoping it will be worth it. Here goes.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tanya24 Posted April 17, 2014 Report Share Posted April 17, 2014 Hi Catriona, we've also sign up to an agent a month ago; to start the process of migrating, my OH is the main applicant and has to do the dreaded ielts; which he is struggling with but pushing through it as it will all be worth it in the end. Do you or your OH need to do the ielts? as to us we think it's the biggest hurdle we will have to go through this process. My motto is "short time pain for a long time gain" good luck with it all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted April 17, 2014 Report Share Posted April 17, 2014 It will be a bit of an emotional roller coaster - but now you've found us on PP, you'll have a little support network of people who are either going through the same thing or have come out the other end lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lou8670 Posted April 18, 2014 Report Share Posted April 18, 2014 Hi Catriona. Emigrating is one big roller coaster! First there's a huge mountain to climb and along the way we look down petrified as to whether we can or even want to make it to the top. Then when we make it the real ride starts with loop the loops and terrifying dips and rolls! Some of us will have highs and lows along the way and may want to get off but most, by the end of the ride, would go again! I thought obtaining our visa was the end of the ride but it's not; it's the ride to the top of the roller coaster! We're probably nearing the middle of our journey; about to make the flight to Perth. It's been emotional and I've had several wobbles but, as SJT says, I'd be devastated to get off now! This whole adventure will be life changing whether we stay permanently or temporarily but there's one thing for sure, we'll have some life long memories and will be better people for having given it a go. Good luck with your journey! Lou x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SJT Posted April 18, 2014 Report Share Posted April 18, 2014 Well I'm nearly at the end of our journey, so to speak, we have been here 9 months this week, and today hubby went fishing with his new mates (hubbies of my new mates), and I went out with my new mates and their kids and had a fantastic day at the beach/park. It does get better emotionally it just feels like sometimes it will never end, but it does and I can honestly say with my hand on my heart, it is so worth it and as I've said previously I would not change a thing. We are very happy and content where we are and enjoying making new friends and I so glad we made this journey. It was not my idea to move as I was very happy and content with my life back in the UK, but we have a much better way of life here than we ever did or could have in the UK. Good luck with everything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nollie Posted April 18, 2014 Report Share Posted April 18, 2014 What a fantastic thread, all you guys are amazing, and your support for us starting our journey never ceases to amaze me. Thanks to all of you that come back with positive and understanding comments, I have had a serious wobble this week and reading this has put a big smile back on my face xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verystormy Posted April 18, 2014 Report Share Posted April 18, 2014 On the days when the process seems daunting or your not sure your doing the right thing and getting cold feet. Just picture December and instead of trying to keep warm and sick of the rain and cold, you will be at the beach swimming in the crystal blue warm water and smiling at the dolphins. Then, instead of getting home cold and wet and turning the central heating up for the night, you will be sat outside with a cold glass of something in a pair of shorts and turning up the BBQ. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
7cdb Posted April 18, 2014 Report Share Posted April 18, 2014 On the days when the process seems daunting or your not sure your doing the right thing and getting cold feet. Just picture December and instead of trying to keep warm and sick of the rain and cold, you will be at the beach swimming in the crystal blue warm water and smiling at the dolphins. Then, instead of getting home cold and wet and turning the central heating up for the night, you will be sat outside with a cold glass of something in a pair of shorts and turning up the BBQ. Its a a lovely afternoon here (Uk) it must be all of 15 degrees,but the sun is shining! Still not exactly OZ.....we have just had a really mild winter but still bloody cold and miserable dark nights tho' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verystormy Posted April 19, 2014 Report Share Posted April 19, 2014 Unfortunatly, that is one thing that Oz isnt great at - the nights are long and it gets dark early Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jac2011 Posted April 19, 2014 Report Share Posted April 19, 2014 I always have a mini wobble each Spring, the UK is lovely on a warm spring day - lush and green and everyone is so happy to see the sunshine again after all this time! However, as soon as the summer kicks in and every weekend seems to rain we soon realise what we are doing and why we are doing it! No where will be perfect but you will suit one more than the other. Is it better to live your life and try things or to stay safe and have regrets? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jkoz Posted April 23, 2014 Report Share Posted April 23, 2014 Sorry to butt in on your thread Catriona but I could have written your post.. We have been trying to decide what to do for the last 6 months and it's truly miserable not knowing what to do for the best. It's going to be my decsion ultimately and the pressure feels enormous - and made worse by knowing once the decision is actually made the real hard work and pain of visa applications start. I really appreciate the advice posted, esp the point about what is it you want from your new life and seeing if it will be reailsed. We lived in Perth on a 457 for a year and a half 3 years ago. We moved back shortly after the birth of our second child to be nearer our families. I felt at the time that we had two sets of grandparents that would like to be involved in the lives of our children and that this was worth more than the sunshine and lifestyle in Oz. Also we were on my visa and to apply for permanent residency I would have had to go back to work more quickly than I would have liked so this was definately a huge factor - and we always said if it didn't work we could return, seemed like a simple idea at the time! We moved not back to the UK but to my husbands home country and have been here ever since. Now finacially I need to go back to work I'm faced with having to learn a new language and comitting to a lifetime here or moving back. We do see my husbands parents and everytime they're with my kids it's great, the kids love them to bits, it's easier and a great help to us but I can see the oldest one is getting to an age where it's slightly less important to him and I can see over the next 5 or so years this will continue with the rest of them. Have to say I don't see my family as much as I thought and prob only see them sligtly more than if we lived in Oz. Schools are free and simple here - local school, everyone walks with their friends, no performance tables etc, Uni still free. But the weather is awful, long dark cold winters, short nice summer then winter again. It's a lovely spring day here and I have a literal spring in my step but is it worth moving us all for the weather or is actually the weather an indication of the quaility of life and things you can do? Does a day like today make it managable here or make me crazy for not taking the chance where almost everyday is like that? And Perth is just so expensive - we don't work in the mining sector and feel like becauseof this we're actually poorer in Perth than we 'should be' with our jobs as there's so much money around pushing prices up. I'm sorry for such a long rambling rant I simply just can't make a decision Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verystormy Posted April 23, 2014 Report Share Posted April 23, 2014 Hi JKoz and welcome to the forum. It is a hard choice for most of us and the reasons for coming to Oz or not will vary for everybody. The bits of advice i will give are this: Part of the reason we moved - a fairly big part - was the weather. My wife was not originally from the UK and had come from a warmer climate and never adapted to the UK winters. She suffered depression / SAD very badly for a number of years and the weather was a big part of that. She hasnt suffered it in the 6 years of being in Australia and there is no way she would want to live back there simply for this reason. Perth is expensive, though I think it will get easier now the mining boom has finished. Though that may leave some questions about how the economy will perform. But it depends on what your occupation is. Some i think will continue to do very well. I think you need to assess how happy / unhappy you are now and then work out the reasons for that and then look to see if Perth would improve that. But you also need to do this as a family. How does your husband feel about moving back to Oz? If he is happy to make the move and you decide the weather is a major issue, then maybe Oz is the wise thing. What are your occupations? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daveakaginge Posted April 23, 2014 Report Share Posted April 23, 2014 Most here, gave up something in their lives, to come to Oz, but I personally, wouldn't change a thing. I think I was born Australian, but in an English body, in a foreign country. Me and shewhomustbeobeyed, love it here, and unlike many, may have to return to the UK, as our ages are against us getting pr, even then, we wouldn't change a thing. If you have it in your mind to come, and you don't, you will forever have regrets, I know of many friends who have them, and know it is now too late. You need to seize the moment, you can worry about the regrets in your old age. This country/continent, is fantastic, but is not for everyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jkoz Posted April 23, 2014 Report Share Posted April 23, 2014 (edited) Thanks so much for your quick reply! I can completely empathise with your wife:) it's not actually the heat that makes a difference to me it's the blue sky, I'm happy to wear as many jackets as needed but a blue sky and drop of sunshine truly lifts your spirits. But it always sounds trivial when I rationalise taking the kids away from their grandparents because I miss it but it does make a huge difference is your everyday life I feel like here would be best for now, easier with the kids whilst they are young, being part of an extended family but for me in the longer term when they are at school, need me less and I will have more of my life back then Perth. But if we stay now, I learn the language and start work and my eldest starts school there will be little chance of moving at that point. My husband is willing to move, just wants us all to be happy and doesn't mind where. His concerns are the huge initial financial hit of going to Oz which is why once I do get work here he will be very reluctant to undemine any stability at that point. I'm a GP but have been out of practice so long I'd need to go to work as a junior hospital doctor in the short term then face getting back after that and my husband could have his old job back from Perth (but wont get visa sponsorship) i'm not unhappy so deciding where I might be happier is really tough... and thanks for your reply too Daveakaginge - I hope you can find a way to stay:) Edited April 23, 2014 by Jkoz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenPen Posted April 23, 2014 Report Share Posted April 23, 2014 (edited) Brilliant and helpful replies especially VS as always! Everyone has reasons and the difficulties are the reasons we wouldn't want to move, I'm currently trying to decide if I'm doing the right thing by moving before it's too late. But a huge part of me wants to and I know, like many others and like it has been said, if I don't do it I'll probably live to regret it. Everyone comments in England how much happier the sun shining makes ppl and it's not warmth it's the basic principal of light with a dash if Vit D. My husband like vs wife lived in sunnier climates and has never adjusted to U.K. Weather and we both get down when it's miserable which is hard because we can't pull each other out of it. That's a huge reason I'm moving! So it isn't trivial the sun shining effects everyone in some way but much more so to some people your reasons are yours and they're not trivial or wrong or anything because they make yor life better!! But for me my family and friends are a big tie to me and it's hit me hard as of yday with an hideous emergency happening and I was lucky enough to be the other end if a and e in maternity to run there!!! It made me cry and panic to think I might've been the other side of the world - that's my hold back. Everything else to me that I want in life for me and my family is in perth....... So I think you should go for it otherwise you'll live u regret it and everyone knows on here that I live by "regretting things I did do not those i didn't" xxx Edited April 23, 2014 by JenPen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beandownunder Posted April 23, 2014 Report Share Posted April 23, 2014 Most here, gave up something in their lives, to come to Oz, but I personally, wouldn't change a thing. I think I was born Australian, but in an English body, in a foreign country. Me and shewhomustbeobeyed, love it here, and unlike many, may have to return to the UK, as our ages are against us getting pr, even then, we wouldn't change a thing. If you have it in your mind to come, and you don't, you will forever have regrets, I know of many friends who have them, and know it is now too late. You need to seize the moment, you can worry about the regrets in your old age. This country/continent, is fantastic, but is not for everyone. blimey Dave, I thought you were settled for good- didnt realise you didn't have PR. Hope it all pans out as you seem so settled in aus, J x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verystormy Posted April 23, 2014 Report Share Posted April 23, 2014 With your two incomes i wouldnt think it will be a strain financialy, even taking a knock back down the career ladder. Generally i think kids settle well then younger they are - getting stroppy teens to give up their first boyfriend / girlfriend can be a nighmare. Financially it is an expensive thing to do and when we did it we did it on a shoestring - the house sale went through the day of the move and until then we had literaly a few pounds in our pocket. Now, 6 years later we dont even remember them times that much. We are simply living the life we have Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaffanZimbo Posted April 23, 2014 Report Share Posted April 23, 2014 I am so glad I found this thread!!! We are having major second thoughts. We watched The Worlds Toughest Tribes featuring the workers on the Kalgoorlie Mine and OH was a little shocked at the lifestyle it portrayed. One miner had moved there to work for 2 years and save for a house deposit... 8 years later he is still there and broke as he spends all his money on drink, the pokeys and skimpies... I tried to rationalise with him that those are the extreme. Normal families also live in Kalgoorlie - don't they???? The biggest wobble we have is that for the first year or two we will both go backwards in our careers and salaries and although we will have enough to live on (just!) we will not have the disposable income we have in the UK... BUT we will have the better weather and lifestyle and give our girls a better way of life - which is why we got our visas in the first place... OH gets SADS every winter and hates his job as a contractor in the UK (but it pays really well and he started at his current job on a 3 month contract nearly 7 years ago). I love my job but would like spend more time with the girls outdoors at the weekend. I find it hard to plan outings when the weather is cold and wet for nearly 1/2 of the year. OH has been looking at jobs in his field (Fitter) and there seem to be jobs available but he really needs to be in Perth to apply for those jobs as I don't think recruitment consultants are interested in offshore candidates. He would prefer to work in Perth as opposed to FIFO but apparently needs to get "Aussie Experience" to get his foot in the door at most companies.... Yes, we will struggle financially for the first year or two but it will be worth it (won't it??). So glad we are not alone with last minute doubts... Luckily we don't have any family in the UK to add to the stress and sympathise with those who also have to take that into account. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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