Hopeful Posted March 28, 2014 Report Share Posted March 28, 2014 Hi all, I have been reading some posts on poms in oz talking about 'moving back to the UK' and the reasons why it just doesn't work out for some. Well putting a positive slant on it I would like to know what people's thoughts are on what makes it work? If friends, family and a sense of belonging are the main reasons for people returning why do people stay? Probably a really silly question to be asking but having just found out this morning that my friend is returning after less than 10 months I am having a bit of a wobble......that's not to say I am so naive as to think my experience will be the same as theirs nor that them staying would be a major decision influencer for myself. To be honest I know why we want to go to Perth but I guess I'm just in need of some positivity.....should never had read all that negativity!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nikkiwd Posted March 28, 2014 Report Share Posted March 28, 2014 That is the reason I rarely go on POI these days, a lot of comments sow seeds of doubt, I found. Just focus on the reasons you want to go to Perth but in the background just be aware of some of the issues others have. At the end of the day you won't know if its right for you and your family until you try it out. A lot of people who bash Perth on POI haven't even been while those that have seem to focus all on the downsides, while forgetting all the great things Perth has. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hopeful Posted March 28, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 28, 2014 Thanks Nikkiwd I agree, and all the 'we miss friends, Europe and the beautiful English countryside' are to my mind all rose coloured glasses moments. We lived in New Zealand for a year and returned thinking exactly those things and 13 years later see little of our friends because we spend all our time at work trying to make ends meet and as for Europe we rarely visit as prefer NZ, Thailand and Sri Lanka. Being with our family is most important and they are in Perth so it's a no brainer, for me it's giving up my job and pension if I am honest as I am at a time in my life when it will have a future impact but I know there's no price on quality time with family, an out door lifestyle and actually being with my grandchildren as they grow up and not a skype grandparent! I'm rambling now as I know what I want just needed the positive words and to know that it is as easy to make it a success as it is to return to what seems safe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sideshowdeb Posted March 28, 2014 Report Share Posted March 28, 2014 I'm pretty sure you wouldn't be normal if you didn't have a wobble now and again.The whole process is a bit of a roller coaster, but please don't take to heart what you've read on there. There are some truly poisonous characters on PIO, who seem to relish the opportunity to spread their nasty biased and mostly unfounded opinions. My Mum is 74 and she has quite a few friends who although sitting very comfortably with great pensions have no family contact to speak of and live quite lonely lives. Like you said, 'it's a no brainier' and who knows what fab job might be waiting for you down under? Deb x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
odies Posted March 28, 2014 Report Share Posted March 28, 2014 hi hopeful, we are going, as we want to be near one set of grandchildren. I think the nearer you get to going the more wobbles you have. I have driven through the staffordshire moorlands today the sun streaming through the car window and my mind wanders but really ? is it just because the weather has been so bad. Then I think will i get this in oz at the supermarket, then i think will I get as fed up in Oz , my mind goes all over the place .The one thing i do know my heart misses a beat when I think I will be going soon to Oz ,i will be having quality time with the grandsons ,the sun going down on the ocean is so beautiful I do not think I will ever get fed up of that. Yes i will miss my youngest and his family but anybody else no, I will visit and think how lucky we are to be retiring and while we can enjoy the rest of our life. Do not read PIO I to did that and realised that why I joined PP they support honestly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted March 28, 2014 Report Share Posted March 28, 2014 (edited) I think it's sometimes good to look at the reasons people return - I used to do this, some I couldn't relate to at all (like a woman who made her mind up she wouldn't like it on the journey from the airport to the place they were staying) - that just wouldn't be us, but others about missing family and friends we talked about and how we'd respond to it. We never gave ourselves a time limit, we said if we didn't like Perth we'd move to somewhere else in Aus (sometimes just moving suburbs helps). The other thing we did was make sure we were both committed to it, one of us wasn't coming because the other wanted it, we were both in it 100%. Expectations - expect it to be different, don't expect England with sunshine etc., It can and probably will feel a little bit isolating initially because there won't be anything familiar, I needed to buy something and thought .. I don't even know where to go for it. These things can become negative if you dwell on them and if you dwell on them it can lead to feeling unhappy, wanting to return. For us personally, we didn't know anyone here in Perth and it was a matter of getting our heads down and re-establishing ourselves. It did take some effort, we had to go out and try to meet people and start to establish some friendships - but it was all worth it for us in the end. Edited March 28, 2014 by ali Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hopeful Posted March 28, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 28, 2014 Thankyou all for the rationale views, sideshowdeb I know you're right wobbles are inevitable, odies good to know someone else spends their day like me doing 'what would this be like', Ali sound advice, if you don't make the effort it isn't going to knock on your door! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aligard Posted March 28, 2014 Report Share Posted March 28, 2014 Agree with all of the above. Sometimes you just have to go for it and take the big leap of faith. Scary isn't the word....but wouldn't life be boring without the odd leap ! We too will be totally on our own and know its going to be hard for at least that first year with lots of hard work and plenty of tears at times, but what an adventure we are going to have. Life's for living...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nollie Posted March 29, 2014 Report Share Posted March 29, 2014 great post, thanks so much.... wobble wobble Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verystormy Posted March 29, 2014 Report Share Posted March 29, 2014 (edited) Wobbles are normal. I think most have them - i didnt before we came because i forgot we were coming (sounds stupid but long story). But i did later after been in Oz a couple of years and we nearly went back as a result - got as far as my wife went back to look at where to live. Glad we didnt. There are a number that do find Oz is not for them. Some for slightly silly reasons - such as missing a particular type of food. Yes, i have seen people do that. Though i think the real reason in them circumstances is they were over come with the fact they had made the move. Others go back for stronger reasons. I moved over about the same time as a dozen friends. There are now three of us left - one in Sydney, one in Brisbane and me in Perth. The rest went back because of work. Most people will get homesick at some point. A lot also get culture shock. They think it will be a sunny UK. Its not, in fact haven lived in a number of other places we find it closer to the USA than the UK. Some of which people can get frustrated about. But, when you do, you just have to remember the positives. For example, i can get frustrated with some of the driving, but then my wife will remind me to look out of the window at the blue sky. Edited March 29, 2014 by verystormy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midwife momma Posted March 29, 2014 Report Share Posted March 29, 2014 what a good thread. I was all up for moving to Perth after I had a placement there last year. Then I had a moment where I thought, who am I kidding, its all a pipe dream. But my life has always been built on dreams, some have lived up, some not so. However I do know that it I don't try it I will always live to regret it, I have only 1 sister in the UK who I will miss terribly but did tell me that I will ruin her future holiday plans if I don't go. Im not getting any younger, I certainly don't have rose coloured glasses so me, hubby n kids WILL be making that move in the near future. On a funny note I took youngest daughter (age 9) to Aldi last night. Never shopped there before but she said '' mum, look at these prices, we will have to shop here more often so we can save our money for Australia!'' made me chuckle she did x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
portlaunay Posted March 29, 2014 Report Share Posted March 29, 2014 I have a very realistic view of what life was and what it might be in the UK and it's really not good. I could list those reasons not to return but they're very personal and everyone has different views. I do find that Mrs p and sometimes my son reflect about life in London, reminisce about the good stuff and completely miss all the other pieces of the jigsaw. I loved taking my kids to the museums, walking along the tunnel to the Natural History Museum early in the morning, nipping into Carluccio's for breakfast before we went in and leaving with brain overload, exhausted with beaming smiles on our faces and heading to the Harrods ice cream parlour to refuel before home. Amazing memories but that's ignoring the fear of sitting on the train when half a dozen kids got on and genuinely fearing for my families safety, the dirt, grumpy people, cold weather, cost, noise and a whole raft of other stuff that just wound us down. Those highlights were too few and too small to be significant. I'm different because I've never had a wobble but I can understand how it must feel. I have to remind the family of all the crap in between the good stuff to keep them grounded, without that I wonder how easy it would be for them to convince themselves of the need to go back. For fun we listed all the good and all the bad for London vs Perth. We rated everything out of ten and Perth won by a gazillion points. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest9824 Posted March 29, 2014 Report Share Posted March 29, 2014 (edited) I think it is perfectly normal to have worries, fears , anxieties, it prepares us for the potential rollercoaster. I also like to read positive stuff, but I also think it's really important to read the 'moving back stories' as they give balance and can help others who are feeling like they are floundering here and have nowhere to go to discuss their fears, that can be very detrimental for some. What may seem like negative stories to some, they are someone's experiences of living here, and obviously that in itself makes them valid IMO. So long as we know we are all capable of having 'moments' and believe me I had mine, and I've got it easy with family support here, then that can make life a bit more bearable in those dark moments. Time is a great healer, and sometimes it really is a matter of giving it time. But you won't know if you don't try...as I've said before, suck it and see.... pea Edited March 29, 2014 by guest9824 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lou8670 Posted March 29, 2014 Report Share Posted March 29, 2014 We've all had a few wobbles (except Porty ) and there are a few threads on here started with "wobble" in the title. I know as I've had a few myself but we have to follow our dreams or wonder 'what if?' and at the end of the day it'll be a great adventure even if you decided to return to the UK one day. We are leaving our little island in 2 weeks time and I think it's my family and friends who are now having wobbles! I just telling myself to stay strong and don't look back; everything will be just fine! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cocolevi Posted March 29, 2014 Report Share Posted March 29, 2014 We are only just starting out so it's still a long journey ahead for us, but I do think ( very rarely) it's so easy for us to stay, the children are happy, we both have jobs , lots of good friends and family but I'll always regret if we don't do it. It's been mine and OH dream since we've been together there's going to be plenty of stressful times but what you get the other side is so much worth it x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Osmond8 Posted March 29, 2014 Report Share Posted March 29, 2014 I think everything has been said already....but i will give my tuppence worth anyway!...... Only having been in Perth for almost three months, i realise that this could still be the honeymoon period for us?!....however, i have found myself everyday being grateful for what we have here... My husband has just secured a job at Perth airport, doing exactly what he came here to achieve, my twins of 7 have settled into the aussie life amazingly, they love their school and told me yesterday that it's the best school they have ever been too!... My temperamental 17 yr old daughter has started a course at TAFE this week... She too has settled into the aussie lifestyle quickly...infact, it's a miracle!!!..... Above all this, we are finally enjoying the family time andoutdoors lifestyle that we set out for.... Haven't had time to be bored yet....have met some fab friends and every weekend there is somewhere new to explore! Infact, i have amazed myself....haven't been homesick yet and haven't had time to miss family and friends.... Just my beloved cat I have read a few posts on here as to why people miss the UK.... Family aside, i think you have to learn to adapt to what is on offer here, no there is no supermarkets as great as Tesco, however, rather than spending my Saturday or Sunday afternoon in Tesco playing trolley wars, we now pop to Woolies, buy just what we need and then head out for the day, taking in what Perth has to offer!... Tesco will never be a good enough reason to make me want to return!!!! And besides...Aldi is coming to WA....yay!!!!! Like most things in life....i believe in Mind over matter.... Sometimes it's easier said than done but if you remind yourself everyday why you are here and your reasons for coming here in the first place, i believe that it will all be ok..... I signed up for PIO but that's as far as i got, never felt the need to log on!! ... PP is fantastic.... The best tool you can have when making this move! Good luck Amy xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deb Posted March 29, 2014 Report Share Posted March 29, 2014 Its only human to have wobbles but life to short for regrets and its a plane journey back, we can always say we tried it, Deb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aligard Posted March 29, 2014 Report Share Posted March 29, 2014 I think everything has been said already....but i will give my tuppence worth anyway!...... Only having been in Perth for almost three months, i realise that this could still be the honeymoon period for us?!....however, i have found myself everyday being grateful for what we have here... My husband has just secured a job at Perth airport, doing exactly what he came here to achieve, my twins of 7 have settled into the aussie life amazingly, they love their school and told me yesterday that it's the best school they have ever been too!... My temperamental 17 yr old daughter has started a course at TAFE this week... She too has settled into the aussie lifestyle quickly...infact, it's a miracle!!!..... Above all this, we are finally enjoying the family time andoutdoors lifestyle that we set out for.... Haven't had time to be bored yet....have met some fab friends and every weekend there is somewhere new to explore! Infact, i have amazed myself....haven't been homesick yet and haven't had time to miss family and friends.... Just my beloved cat I have read a few posts on here as to why people miss the UK.... Family aside, i think you have to learn to adapt to what is on offer here, no there is no supermarkets as great as Tesco, however, rather than spending my Saturday or Sunday afternoon in Tesco playing trolley wars, we now pop to Woolies, buy just what we need and then head out for the day, taking in what Perth has to offer!... Tesco will never be a good enough reason to make me want to return!!!! And besides...Aldi is coming to WA....yay!!!!! Like most things in life....i believe in Mind over matter.... Sometimes it's easier said than done but if you remind yourself everyday why you are here and your reasons for coming here in the first place, i believe that it will all be ok..... I signed up for PIO but that's as far as i got, never felt the need to log on!! ... PP is fantastic.... The best tool you can have when making this move! Good luck Amy xx Great post Amy and so pleased its all going so well for you all. We also have twins but aged 8 so its great to hear how your twins have settled Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Osmond8 Posted March 30, 2014 Report Share Posted March 30, 2014 Great post Amy and so pleased its all going so well for you all. We also have twins but aged 8 so its great to hear how your twins have settled Thank you Aligard i think it was a great age for them to make the move, they have settled so well... I'm sure your twins will too they have truly embraced the aussie life, their school has been fantastic so far... So much going on which keeps them interested!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lou8670 Posted March 30, 2014 Report Share Posted March 30, 2014 Thank you Aligard i think it was a great age for them to make the move, they have settled so well... I'm sure your twins will too they have truly embraced the aussie life, their school has been fantastic so far... So much going on which keeps them interested!! So pleased to hear this Amy; so reassuring. My twins are 7 and will turn 8 on route to Perth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carob Posted March 30, 2014 Report Share Posted March 30, 2014 I think everything has been said already....but i will give my tuppence worth anyway!...... Only having been in Perth for almost three months, i realise that this could still be the honeymoon period for us?!....however, i have found myself everyday being grateful for what we have here... My husband has just secured a job at Perth airport, doing exactly what he came here to achieve, my twins of 7 have settled into the aussie life amazingly, they love their school and told me yesterday that it's the best school they have ever been too!... My temperamental 17 yr old daughter has started a course at TAFE this week... She too has settled into the aussie lifestyle quickly...infact, it's a miracle!!!..... Above all this, we are finally enjoying the family time andoutdoors lifestyle that we set out for.... Haven't had time to be bored yet....have met some fab friends and every weekend there is somewhere new to explore! Infact, i have amazed myself....haven't been homesick yet and haven't had time to miss family and friends.... Just my beloved cat I have read a few posts on here as to why people miss the UK.... Family aside, i think you have to learn to adapt to what is on offer here, no there is no supermarkets as great as Tesco, however, rather than spending my Saturday or Sunday afternoon in Tesco playing trolley wars, we now pop to Woolies, buy just what we need and then head out for the day, taking in what Perth has to offer!... Tesco will never be a good enough reason to make me want to return!!!! And besides...Aldi is coming to WA....yay!!!!! Like most things in life....i believe in Mind over matter.... Sometimes it's easier said than done but if you remind yourself everyday why you are here and your reasons for coming here in the first place, i believe that it will all be ok..... I signed up for PIO but that's as far as i got, never felt the need to log on!! ... PP is fantastic.... The best tool you can have when making this move! Good luck Amy xx Hi Osmond8 Great post. We are in the visa queue and having wobbles like a lot of other people. Thought it was just us, due to our advanced years, so good to hear of other people feeling the same. Yes, we say, if we don't try it, we will always wonder!! Luckily we have no real emotional ties with the UK, and our only family is in Perth. So, where in WA is Aldi's going to be located? It will be over-run with us lot, I suspect. Haha! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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