English Rose Posted April 17, 2014 Report Share Posted April 17, 2014 Hi all, I am new to this site and wanted to send a message hope that's ok. We lived in Perth for 18 months, and moved back to the UK a year and a half ago. We had a bit of a rough time in Perth. I was pregnant with our second child, my husband was working on a 457 visa while i was at home with my other daughter who was three at the time so not at school. I found things very very hard and lonely, even though I did make 3 Aussie friends from playgroup. We had to move twice from our rental whilst heavily pregnant. Our grandparents passed away whilst we were there and my new born was ill and ended up in hospital for a week at the age of three weeks old. So my husband and I were as strong together as we could be but found it hard alone without the support and decided to come home. My husband loved his job in Perth and I think he would of stayed if I was fine to. Now we are back, sounds crazy but we really miss being back in Perth. Things are so different here, and it's as if now I actually appreciate what Perth was like. my husband has received an email regarding possible job oppurtinities again in Perth so we have sent his CV. They can also sponsor again. But I am not sure what to do. One minute I want to go, really want to go, and then one minute I have doubt, and feel guilty from taking the children away from the grandparents again. My husbands wants to go. He has gone backward in terms of work here in UK., Stressed, working hard never have family quality time which i really rally miss, We feel we have gone backwards so to speak, but we can back for the family and friends and nothing else really. But is this enough? Sorry for such a long post, just my head is going to explode as what's best to do for the best. I keep thinking to give it another go as our situation is very different now and feel we are stronger. I don't know. Are there any ping pong poms on here? Your opinion would be very appreciated. Thankyou. X Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
portlaunay Posted April 17, 2014 Report Share Posted April 17, 2014 I don't think I can help with your query, I've not been in your position, I just wanted to say hi and Welcome to PP. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elizabethkolo Posted April 17, 2014 Report Share Posted April 17, 2014 It is such a hard decision isn't it. Obviously at the end of the day only you and your husband can make this decision. I am in also in the situation where I left Perth around 8 months ago, and ever since I've been wondering why the heck I left. Is applying for PR a possibility for you? If so, this is a good option because you don't have to rely on job offers etc. You are essentially free to come and go as you please. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verystormy Posted April 17, 2014 Report Share Posted April 17, 2014 It is a hard one and i suggest you both sit down and go through the pros and cons of living in each country - with some research as not only did the UK change while you were in Oz, but Oz may now have changed while you have been in the UK. If you do decide to head back to Oz then i would be looking to do it with a PR visa rather than a 457 visa. Not only does that give you freedom but also security - imagine how you would feel if you came out on a 457 and your husband lost his job and you had to all leave again. Also, from January 457 holder are going to be charged thousands in school fees per year Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
English Rose Posted April 17, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 17, 2014 It is a hard one and i suggest you both sit down and go through the pros and cons of living in each country - with some research as not only did the UK change while you were in Oz, but Oz may now have changed while you have been in the UK. If you do decide to head back to Oz then i would be looking to do it with a PR visa rather than a 457 visa. Not only does that give you freedom but also security - imagine how you would feel if you came out on a 457 and your husband lost his job and you had to all leave again. Also, from January 457 holder are going to be charged thousands in school fees per year I would love to do PR but I am a florist, originally an office manager, and my husband is a fibre telecommunications engineer, but you have to have NVQ qualifications whereas he has BT qualifications and experience, which they do not recognize. So I believe we can only come over on a 457visa. Thanks for your replies. I was really keen to go back but I have had a lovely week this week on half term holidays, weather has been nice and have done things with family and friends which has made me think oh not so sure. X Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
English Rose Posted April 17, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 17, 2014 It is such a hard decision isn't it. Obviously at the end of the day only you and your husband can make this decision. I am in also in the situation where I left Perth around 8 months ago, and ever since I've been wondering why the heck I left. Is applying for PR a possibility for you? If so, this is a good option because you don't have to rely on job offers etc. You are essentially free to come and go as you please. Totally understand this, only came back because of friends and family, but people move on, and we have also moved on.x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elizabethkolo Posted April 17, 2014 Report Share Posted April 17, 2014 I suppose times like these school holidays are enough to make you second guess your decision process. I'm not swaying you one way or the other... Merely playing devil's advocate here. What about the six months of the year that are cold, dark and rainy? If family is enough to get you through that, then maybe that's going to lead you to your answer. Are you happy with where the UK is headed as a country? Having grandparents around is nice for children, but it is only one aspect of their upbringing. What else do you want for their future? What is best for them? What about you and your hubby? Where would you rather retire? Eventually, our parents will pass away and children will grow up and move out. When it's just you and your husband in the house alone again, where would you want that house to be? What would you fill your days with? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rubyron Posted April 17, 2014 Report Share Posted April 17, 2014 We have ping-ponged around NZ, Australia and the UK for the last few years. We left Perth 5 years ago with our 10 month old son to be back in UK with family and friends for support and so he would know his grandparents and cousins. 5 years on we are waiting for our house to exchange/complete and we are moving back to Perth. The first year or so was great being back but we had another child, got thinking and here we go again. Staying for our family is not enough for us. We miss Perth. It feels more like home. I see a lot of friends but we were away for nearly 10 years and people move on and we have moved on. Yep the weather has been lovely the last few weeks but its not enough for us anyway. While the kids are young, we see no harm in moving them around and trying new things. Its a horrible thing to do to the grandparents but its our lives, our little family and we really want to give it another go. Having had a baby here and there its a generally isolating, lonely experience. To be honest I felt lonelier here in UK with our second child than I did in Perth with our first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
English Rose Posted April 17, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 17, 2014 We have ping-ponged around NZ, Australia and the UK for the last few years. We left Perth 5 years ago with our 10 month old son to be back in UK with family and friends for support and so he would know his grandparents and cousins. 5 years on we are waiting for our house to exchange/complete and we are moving back to Perth. The first year or so was great being back but we had another child, got thinking and here we go again. Staying for our family is not enough for us. We miss Perth. It feels more like home. I see a lot of friends but we were away for nearly 10 years and people move on and we have moved on. Yep the weather has been lovely the last few weeks but its not enough for us anyway. While the kids are young, we see no harm in moving them around and trying new things. Its a horrible thing to do to the grandparents but its our lives, our little family and we really want to give it another go. Having had a baby here and there its a generally isolating, lonely experience. To be honest I felt lonelier here in UK with our second child than I did in Perth with our first. Thanks so much for all your responses, you have really really helped me immensely. I think it's because you feel you have a duty to stay because of children, parents, grandparents etc. we could be seen as selfish. Because we have done it before I do feel we can do it again, and excited about it, but also petrified of it not working again. Even though this time I do feel differently. I am of the same opinion as you my children are pretty young, 5 and almost 2, so feel they are young enough to move again. I think it's because we told our parents, and my dad was fine. My in laws understood but were ever so upset. And well I haven't even told my mum yet as know how she will react!! Thankyou again. X Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest6235 Posted April 17, 2014 Report Share Posted April 17, 2014 Out of interest how was it flying with a young child. We will be flying with our daughter who'll be approx 1-2 year old by time we have the green light, she is 7 months old at moment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elizabethkolo Posted April 17, 2014 Report Share Posted April 17, 2014 Keefo, all I can say is that if you choose to medicate, make sure you try the medication before you fly to make sure it has a sedative effect (some can actually cause the opposite- yikes!). When I say medication I mean basic things like promethazine, not a horse tranquilliser! Long flights are the only time I ever personally take sedatives, and for the length of the flight it is worth it :-) Also, for taking off and landing, lollipops and sippy cups are essential as they stimulate swallowing, which can equalise pressure in the ear. I've never flown with a small child, but worked in pharmacy long enough to hear horror/success stories. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lou8670 Posted April 17, 2014 Report Share Posted April 17, 2014 Out of interest how was it flying with a young child. We will be flying with our daughter who'll be approx 1-2 year old by time we have the green light, she is 7 months old at moment. We've flown with 2 x 2 year olds and a 4 year old. They were fine. Watched Bolt 3 times, ate their meals and slept. We chose our flight times wisely so the long stretch was at the normal UK bedtime and put them into comfy clothes, favourite blanket/ cuddly and they all slept for 6/7 hours It may have helped that the long stretch was the second leg of the journey so they had gotten over the initial excitement of flying to Oz! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
7cdb Posted April 17, 2014 Report Share Posted April 17, 2014 We've flown with 2 x 2 year olds and a 4 year old. They were fine. Watched Bolt 3 times, ate their meals and slept. We chose our flight times wisely so the long stretch was at the normal UK bedtime and put them into comfy clothes, favourite blanket/ cuddly and they all slept for 6/7 hours It may have helped that the long stretch was the second leg of the journey so they had gotten over the initial excitement of flying to Oz! This,we went on a "reccy" to Perth last Nov/Dec with a 1yr old and I was dreading it! He had only flown twice before on short haul to try and get him used to it. We booked flights to try and tie in with his sleep times as much as we could and had a stopover in Dubai which helped. We also did the last leg on the A380 which was brilliant and we had loads of comments from fellow passengers on how good (presumably they meant quiet) he was!! Just a shame we couldn't of made more of the free bar..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest6235 Posted April 18, 2014 Report Share Posted April 18, 2014 Thanks for giving us hope for flying with our little girl .... the pressure is on her now to be good ha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cki2011 Posted April 19, 2014 Report Share Posted April 19, 2014 Hi all, I am new to this site and wanted to send a message hope that's ok. We lived in Perth for 18 months, and moved back to the UK a year and a half ago. We had a bit of a rough time in Perth. I was pregnant with our second child, my husband was working on a 457 visa while i was at home with my other daughter who was three at the time so not at school. I found things very very hard and lonely, even though I did make 3 Aussie friends from playgroup. We had to move twice from our rental whilst heavily pregnant. Our grandparents passed away whilst we were there and my new born was ill and ended up in hospital for a week at the age of three weeks old. So my husband and I were as strong together as we could be but found it hard alone without the support and decided to come home. My husband loved his job in Perth and I think he would of stayed if I was fine to. Now we are back, sounds crazy but we really miss being back in Perth. Things are so different here, and it's as if now I actually appreciate what Perth was like. my husband has received an email regarding possible job oppurtinities again in Perth so we have sent his CV. They can also sponsor again. But I am not sure what to do. One minute I want to go, really want to go, and then one minute I have doubt, and feel guilty from taking the children away from the grandparents again. My husbands wants to go. He has gone backward in terms of work here in UK., Stressed, working hard never have family quality time which i really rally miss, We feel we have gone backwards so to speak, but we can back for the family and friends and nothing else really. But is this enough? Sorry for such a long post, just my head is going to explode as what's best to do for the best. I keep thinking to give it another go as our situation is very different now and feel we are stronger. I don't know. Are there any ping pong poms on here? Your opinion would be very appreciated. Thankyou. X If you read your original post the answer is in there already.... (My husbands wants to go. He has gone backward in terms of work here in UK., Stressed, working hard never have family quality time which i really rally miss, We feel we have gone backwards so to speak, but we can back for the family and friends and nothing else really. But is this enough?) i know now it is easy for anyone else to say it but sometimes you have to just do it.... the he worst can happen is you come back again.... Your children are young enough not to be distrusted with schooling so go for it.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
English Rose Posted April 23, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 23, 2014 If you read your original post the answer is in there already.... (My husbands wants to go. He has gone backward in terms of work here in UK., Stressed, working hard never have family quality time which i really rally miss, We feel we have gone backwards so to speak, but we can back for the family and friends and nothing else really. But is this enough?) i know now it is easy for anyone else to say it but sometimes you have to just do it.... the he worst can happen is you come back again.... Your children are young enough not to be distrusted with schooling so go for it.... Thanks so much everyone, you all seem really nice and so helpful. My husband is speaking with a chap tomorrow who he met whilst we lived in Perth. He wants to talk to him about his CV. So watch this space. If something is offered and right for us we have decided to except. Like you say, we have done it once, so know what to expect and what's the worse that could happen?!?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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