Rossmoyne Posted April 18, 2014 Report Share Posted April 18, 2014 Is it just me and living in the past, but are manners in every day life disappearing at a rate of knots these days? For instance, two things have p****d me off this week about lack of manners. Firstly, driving back from brekkie with friends late this morning, I was in a line of traffic on Kings Park Rd and as we were crawling along, I slowed down to let a car (which had been waiting a while) out of the Ivey Watson playground access road... Woman with kids in 4WD just pulled out without so much as a smile or a wave of her hand and immediately indicated to change lanes pulling in front of a bus in the lane next to me! Not quite sure how bus driver managed not to redesign her rear end... of the car that is! Secondly, I have been a contributor of PIO and PP for years and often get PM's from people asking for further info or clarification on something I have posted in a thread. Happy to help out or I wouldn't be on the forum. Some of the questions are quite intricate and take time to answer, but it is becoming more and more common not to get so much as an acknowledgement for my return PM. Just a "thanks" by PM would be enough surely to acknowledge that someone had taken the time to personally explain something you didn't understand. And yes the 3 posters this week are still posting all over the forums daily, so it isn't as if they hadn't logged on! So I ask again, are manners declining in every day life these days or have I not noticed it before? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Druid Posted April 18, 2014 Report Share Posted April 18, 2014 I find manners in Perth as a whole in short supply, especially in the daily commute Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rossmoyne Posted April 18, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 18, 2014 I find manners in Perth as a whole in short supply, especially in the daily commute Well thanks Druid as I was starting to think that I had a bit of an issue happening!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
portlaunay Posted April 18, 2014 Report Share Posted April 18, 2014 You've not lived in London in the past 15 years have you? One of the first things that struck me here was how amazing it was that kids of all ages shouted "thank you" to the bus driver as they got off (well they do in Freo anyway). Manners, etiquette, common courtesy are social norms dictated by society, background, social standing, culture and a whole raft of external influences aren't they? What is expected of us or by us may be very different to other people and who's to say what or who is right? I always hold doors open, wave people across the road or give way to oncoming cars in traffic and this act, seemingly, often goes unappreciated. I sometimes find myself becoming quite grumpy about this and react negatively but it's generally when I'm in a bad mood. I think it's unreasonable of me to impose my code of behaviour on others, especially when they have no understanding of my upbringing or values, I mean, I might actually be causing offence to them! I do get where you're coming from of course but life is short and I don't think it's really worth worrying about too much. I agree with you about the help and advice though. There have been a number of times I've done something that I feel goes a little further than responding to a post on here - meeting people when they first arrive, offering additional support or engaging in lengthy and detailed emails and PM's to provide as much help as I can. Sadly, in great many cases the response is similar to yours and has left me feeling rather underwhelmed and I try not to do it any more. I have to say though, those people are like leeches and don't generally hang around on here for too long, they join, get the info they need, often in a rather demanding manner and then never make a contribution for the benefit of others. I think that's rather sad for them, they miss out and they'll inevitably find integration in Australia that little bit more difficult I think and as a result there may be a little bit of Karma at work. I think that's slightly different to manners though - some people are just sycophantic parasites No matter, there are some great people on here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest9824 Posted April 18, 2014 Report Share Posted April 18, 2014 Is it just me and living in the past, but are manners in every day life disappearing at a rate of knots these days? For instance, two things have p****d me off this week about lack of manners. Firstly, driving back from brekkie with friends late this morning, I was in a line of traffic on Kings Park Rd and as we were crawling along, I slowed down to let a car (which had been waiting a while) out of the Ivey Watson playground access road... Woman with kids in 4WD just pulled out without so much as a smile or a wave of her hand and immediately indicated to change lanes pulling in front of a bus in the lane next to me! Not quite sure how bus driver managed not to redesign her rear end... of the car that is! Secondly, I have been a contributor of PIO and PP for years and often get PM's from people asking for further info or clarification on something I have posted in a thread. Happy to help out or I wouldn't be on the forum. Some of the questions are quite intricate and take time to answer, but it is becoming more and more common not to get so much as an acknowledgement for my return PM. Just a "thanks" by PM would be enough surely to acknowledge that someone had taken the time to personally explain something you didn't understand. And yes the 3 posters this week are still posting all over the forums daily, so it isn't as if they hadn't logged on! So I ask again, are manners declining in every day life these days or have I not noticed it before? OM gosh Rossy, it's my biggest bug bare, as my mum says 'manners cost nothing'...I really don't hold with 'they haven't been brought up like me so therefore I can't get a monk on if they don't say thankyou' absolute poppy cock! My children have been taught froma very young age to say please and thankyou no matter where they are, and I know of some 'new fangled schools' that say it's not right to teach kids to say thankyou....lazy is the word I'd use!! so much easier to allow kids and adults to do anything, with no consequences, so much harder to say 'no' and keep to that mantra.... I do find the kids where we live ok with manners, it's the 40 something guys mostly that don't have 'please or thankyou in their vocab! Sad really! Thanks Ross for highlighting this.... peax Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
7cdb Posted April 18, 2014 Report Share Posted April 18, 2014 OM gosh Rossy, it's my biggest bug bare, as my mum says 'manners cost nothing'...I really don't hold with 'they haven't been brought up like me so therefore I can't get a monk on if they don't say thankyou' absolute poppy cock! My children have been taught froma very young age to say please and thankyou no matter where they are, and I know of some 'new fangled schools' that say it's not right to teach kids to say thankyou....lazy is the word I'd use!! so much easier to allow kids and adults to do anything, with no consequences, so much harder to say 'no' and keep to that mantra.... I do find the kids where we live ok with manners, it's the 40 something guys mostly that don't have 'please or thankyou in their vocab! Sad really! Thanks Ross for highlighting this.... peax Oi! I'm 40 something and could still feel the wrath of my late Nan's hand if I forgot my Manners! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verystormy Posted April 18, 2014 Report Share Posted April 18, 2014 I think there is a general reduction in manners all over the world. I was brought up the old fashioned way and will hold doors open for ladies and things. In the past such acts would always recieve a thank you, now that is rare. I, too often get PM'S asking for help and very rarely get a thank you and again it is usually posters that appear then disapear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sideshowdeb Posted April 18, 2014 Report Share Posted April 18, 2014 I think good manners are rarer these days. So much so that I don't expect to hear thank you or excuse me anymore. It's a nice surprise when you get a nod of thanks at a zebra crossing or a wave when you let a car out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted April 18, 2014 Report Share Posted April 18, 2014 My kids know that manners are important, if we're on the train or bus and it's getting busy they will immediately stand without being asked for someone older/pregnant etc. I was shopping with my daughter last evening and a woman just pushed past me to get an item from the shelf I was stood in front of - no excuse me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nikkis2000 Posted April 18, 2014 Report Share Posted April 18, 2014 I do find the kids where we live ok with manners, it's the 40 something guys mostly that don't have 'please or thankyou in their vocab! Sad really! peax With you on that one Pea - though I must stress in my experience its the Aussie variety that are worst. The poms still seem to be quite gentlemanly. I was barged out of the way trying to get out of the lift at work the other day, by some bloke getting in! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kerry267 Posted April 18, 2014 Report Share Posted April 18, 2014 I find that drivers here are less likely to wave a thank you for letting them in when there is a line of traffic. Although generally customer service in shops is very good and I'm always wished a good day. We too bring our children up to say please and thank you as its important to us. My 2.5 year od had her immunisations this week which made her cry but through her tears she managed a 'thank you' to the nurse. Its ingrained in her already! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfie Posted April 18, 2014 Report Share Posted April 18, 2014 I find that drivers here are less likely to wave a thank you for letting them in when there is a line of traffic. Although generally customer service in shops is very good and I'm always wished a good day. We too bring our children up to say please and thank you as its important to us. My 2.5 year od had her immunisations this week which made her cry but through her tears she managed a 'thank you' to the nurse. Its ingrained in her already! the only thing drivers give here is the finger ..... driving here is not a case of manners is a case of lets see who I can cut up today and p off Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rossmoyne Posted April 18, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 18, 2014 Wow so pleased that it is not just me having these issues..... and so pleased that so many of you are bringing up your offspring to have good manners. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SJT Posted April 18, 2014 Report Share Posted April 18, 2014 Good manners should just be the norm and inbuilt, but sadly they are not. When we had our parent/teacher day at high school the other day, every single one of both my son's teachers commented on how polite they were and that they were a pleasure to teach, I would rather have heard that then they were top of the school, but your kids are really rude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cocolevi Posted April 18, 2014 Report Share Posted April 18, 2014 I like to think I always say and thankyou. I was brought up to treat others how you would like to be treated. If any of my girls go to a friends for a day, dinner or anything else the last thing I say to them is don't forget your please and thankyou s:cute: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
odies Posted April 18, 2014 Report Share Posted April 18, 2014 come and work in shops now, still talking on their mobiles while trying to transact the sale, grunting , asking for something with no please/thank you all in a days work. The children from the local school are great though it seems more the adults. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest9824 Posted April 18, 2014 Report Share Posted April 18, 2014 You've not lived in London in the past 15 years have you?One of the first things that struck me here was how amazing it was that kids of all ages shouted "thank you" to the bus driver as they got off (well they do in Freo anyway). Manners, etiquette, common courtesy are social norms dictated by society, background, social standing, culture and a whole raft of external influences aren't they? What is expected of us or by us may be very different to other people and who's to say what or who is right? I always hold doors open, wave people across the road or give way to oncoming cars in traffic and this act, seemingly, often goes unappreciated. I sometimes find myself becoming quite grumpy about this and react negatively but it's generally when I'm in a bad mood. I think it's unreasonable of me to impose my code of behaviour on others, especially when they have no understanding of my upbringing or values, I mean, I might actually be causing offence to them! I do get where you're coming from of course but life is short and I don't think it's really worth worrying about too much. I agree with you about the help and advice though. There have been a number of times I've done something that I feel goes a little further than responding to a post on here - meeting people when they first arrive, offering additional support or engaging in lengthy and detailed emails and PM's to provide as much help as I can. Sadly, in great many cases the response is similar to yours and has left me feeling rather underwhelmed and I try not to do it any more. I have to say though, those people are like leeches and don't generally hang around on here for too long, they join, get the info they need, often in a rather demanding manner and then never make a contribution for the benefit of others. I think that's rather sad for them, they miss out and they'll inevitably find integration in Australia that little bit more difficult I think and as a result there may be a little bit of Karma at work. I think that's slightly different to manners though - some people are just sycophantic parasites No matter, there are some great people on here. We too have gone above and beyond to help some expats settle in, helped them move, got them a job, fed them constantly, only to be shat on big time, will I never learn! I am, shall we say, a lot more choosy now, more fool me for being hospitable and helpful, can't change the way I am, but it's a big learning curve that not everyone you meet has the same principles, morals, will reciprocate as you may hope they will. I believe what goes around comes around.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kips Posted April 18, 2014 Report Share Posted April 18, 2014 We too have gone above and beyond to help some expats settle in, helped them move, got them a job, fed them constantly, only to be shat on big time, will I never learn! I am, shall we say, a lot more choosy now, more fool me for being hospitable and helpful, can't change the way I am, but it's a big learning curve that not everyone you meet has the same principles, morals, will reciprocate as you may hope they will. I believe what goes around comes around....[/quote If I had been given that sort of help when I first moved here you would have been a friend for life and believe me I would have shown my gratitude. Some people are just selfish b******s Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest9824 Posted April 18, 2014 Report Share Posted April 18, 2014 We too have gone above and beyond to help some expats settle in, helped them move, got them a job, fed them constantly, only to be shat on big time, will I never learn! I am, shall we say, a lot more choosy now, more fool me for being hospitable and helpful, can't change the way I am, but it's a big learning curve that not everyone you meet has the same principles, morals, will reciprocate as you may hope they will. I believe what goes around comes around....[/quote If I had been given that sort of help when I first moved here you would have been a friend for life and believe me I would have shown my gratitude. Some people are just selfish b******s Thanks, I would also reciprocate if someone went out of their way to help me, sometimes it's just luck that your path crosses with someone's with the same principles, and sometimes it's just bad luck that it crosses the path of a fair few leeches' ! best of luck to you and your return to the UK, sounds like you have done the time to know that your Aussie journey is coming to an end. Peax Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted April 18, 2014 Report Share Posted April 18, 2014 With you on that one Pea - though I must stress in my experience its the Aussie variety that are worst. The poms still seem to be quite gentlemanly. I was barged out of the way trying to get out of the lift at work the other day, by some bloke getting in! How did you know he was Australian? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
7cdb Posted April 18, 2014 Report Share Posted April 18, 2014 How did you know he was Australian? He was wearing a hat with corks on....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nikkis2000 Posted April 18, 2014 Report Share Posted April 18, 2014 How did you know he was Australian? He was talking to his mate on the way past me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lozzachino Posted April 18, 2014 Report Share Posted April 18, 2014 I think there is a general reduction in manners all over the world. I was brought up the old fashioned way and will hold doors open for ladies and things. In the past such acts would always recieve a thank you, now that is rare. I, too often get PM'S asking for help and very rarely get a thank you and again it is usually posters that appear then disapear. Ladies and things? What other things would you hold the door open for stormy? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
portlaunay Posted April 18, 2014 Report Share Posted April 18, 2014 Ladies and things? What other things would you hold the door open for stormy? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted April 18, 2014 Report Share Posted April 18, 2014 [ATTACH=CONFIG]1518[/ATTACH] Where did you get that photo of my children Porty? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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