To go or not to go...

[Jkoz]

I did post on another persons thread about this but feel it's only right I should start my own. It's a long....

 

I'd welcome so thoughts, ideas or just plain tell me what to do!!

 

 

i lived in Perth for a year and a half 3 years ago. Really enjoyed it, we both had a good job and nice rental and really enjoyed the sunny outdoor lifestyle. Our son was settled in daycare and we'd made some friends. However when we decided to have a another baby I was faced with having to go back to work more quickly than I wanted to and there was also an issue with my work and applying for PR from our 457. We also probably felt quite vunerable being so far away from extended family with 2 children and had a huge sense of depriving the kids and grandparents of a relationship. We'd also been in Oz long enough to have gotten over the honeymoon period and had concerns about the cost of housing. - needing to move way way out of the cbd area to ever afford a house, the private vs public school debate and not to mention those extortionate daycare fees (on a 457 at least). We probably also had started to take for granted the great weather and how lucky were to be there.

 

 

We decided not to go back to the UK but instead my husbands home country where we've been for 3 years. We now need me to return to work financially ( no.3 came along ) and it's decision time whether to stay here or return to Oz. To work here I need to learn the language - prob take a year or so. We're about an hour and half away from my husbands parents and although they're great with the kids we only see them every couple of weeks or so. But the kids count down the sleeps to when we do go, they love spending time there and we get some time to ourself as a couple. If we stay here then we'll move nearer to them but this will increase the commute time for OH to work, it's a small small place and not much social life (at least english speaking) for me. But we'd get more help, a walk to the local school and a simple way of life.

 

 

BUT the climate here is awful, long cold dark winters 6 months with not always snow. It's great when the sun shines and I could happily stay here but there are so many days when the kids need to wear layer and layers of clothes and wet weather gear and you can't plan an outing or if you do go you know how much more fantastic it would be if the weather was good. I can't help feel like we'd have more life back in Perth but to uproot - this time with the plan to be for good (OH would be very very reluctant to contemplate a further move) it will be a huge financial hit and step backwards and most of all depriving the kids of the very thing we moved back for. My OH is happy either way and the real devision it seems is mine. We've been thinking about this non stop for 5 months and I just can't decide. Sun v's family - but it's not that simple. I also see that my eldest although he loves the grandparents has his own interests and the grandparents are not the centre of his universe the way they are for the little ones and I guess I worry that we decide to stay and 5 or 10 years down the line I regret it and our chance will have passed.

 

 

Sorry to waffle, any thoughts greatly appreciated:)

[JacquiG]

Do it.. You only get one life! And the fact you've lived there before at least you have some roots. We've just got back from Perth loved it and it's certainly got us thinking. How old are your kids now?

[janh]

Hello. Tricky! We are going on a 457 at the end of August to give it a go.we are leaving grandparents here and have a 6 year old and it is never going to be easy but we hope they will visit and hopefully have quality time. When we lived in Auckland a number of years back on a short contract I found my relationship with my parents improved! Have I gone mad or are you a GP? Seem to remember a similar post from a dr(interested as I am!)

[ali]

I guess the first thing to look into is if your husbands skills remain on any of the skills wanted lists in order to qualify for a visa. WA is introducing school fees for 457 visa holders and this would impact on you if you have school age children.

 

The cost of living (which was one of the drivers for you to return) has not changed - it is still expensive to live here in WA.

[Jkoz]

Hi all thanks for the replies:)

Janh - I am a doc but this is my first posting on here, I have a feeling my question and the thought of pingponging is quite a well trod path! I'd be interested if you find the old thread, maybe it would give me some ideas:). My eldest in 7 and we have two younger ones. I have to say the thought of moving closer to my husbands parents brings a whole new set of issues of how we're going to get along, I get on great with my folks who are back in the UK! How was Aukland?? When we moved to Perth we were looking at NZ too and a job came up in Perth first and that was the decision made - life seemed simpler then:*

[Guest guest9824]

Hi all thanks for the replies:)

Janh - I am a doc but this is my first posting on here, I have a feeling my question and the thought of pingponging is quite a well trod path! I'd be interested if you find the old thread, maybe it would give me some ideas:). My eldest in 7 and we have two younger ones. I have to say the thought of moving closer to my husbands parents brings a whole new set of issues of how we're going to get along, I get on great with my folks who are back in the UK! How was Aukland?? When we moved to Perth we were looking at NZ too and a job came up in Perth first and that was the decision made - life seemed simpler then:*

 

Best of luck in your choices. My parents pingponged for 21 years, finally financial constraints and ill health put a stop to it. It wasn't easy for them to keep moving, as they got older, and the financial loss to them was huge! I guess the younger you are the better, and with a career as you have being a doctor, there is no doubt you will always have a job to go to anywhere in the world, so that must be a comfort to know.

 

I wish you well in your school choices and where to live choices.

 

Pea

[Druid]

We did exactly what you are talking about in the 80's, but unfortunately not to Australia, if it was Australia we would still be here, we migrated to South Africa for ten years, had two children there with absolutely no support, deprived family of seeing them grow up as we couldn't afford to keep traveling back for holidays, and then to cap it all, my wife's father died of cancer, a couple of years later we ended up going back to the UK anyway, due to the countries crime & politics, so the grandparents did get to see them later on in life, but the relationship was never the same, we stayed in the UK for another 10 years and let the kids finish schooling, then decided the damp dreary weather and way of life sucked, family wasn't everything, so we headed for Perth & the sun.

You have to remember, as cruel as it seems, it's your life and a few years down the line the grandparents won't be there anymore, and where does that leave you, I was getting old, I never liked the UK and if I didn't leave when I did, I would have missed the Australia boat and been stuck in the UK for keeps, I could have moved over to Europe, but I don't enjoy the language barrier and don't think I would have ever settled, I know this May sound a little selfish, but at the end of the day it's your & your family's future, your kids grandparents can always come and visit.

[janh]

Hello I must be psychic then! Auckland was great fun but as you say life was simpler then..no dog and no child! Also weather wasn't great and my hubby is obsessed with sun.he has been keen to try oz for 10 years and am now so frustrated with nhs I have agreed.lets hope the health system is better to work in!