jo and scott Posted May 15, 2014 Report Share Posted May 15, 2014 my little lucychops is 8 1/2, she is really not happy about going to oz, shes not happy in general at the moment, maybe because we are living all squashed in the mil house. im going to speak with her tonight once shes a bit happier. did anyone else's kids really not want to go but once you got there absolutely loved it ?? (please say yes) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cocolevi Posted May 15, 2014 Report Share Posted May 15, 2014 I have the same at the minute my 15 says there's no way she is going she wants to finish her education here ( doing Gcses next year) then to stay on for her A levels I have been meaning to post a similar post for ages it will break my heart if she doesn't come and I feel I couldn't cope not having her with me. She wants to live with the inlaws She's has a boyfriend who she's been with for a while so she also doesn't want to leave him I want to go but I can't leave her behind x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest6235 Posted May 15, 2014 Report Share Posted May 15, 2014 You have to be careful I think. If you emigrated and she didn't go with you I don't think she would be able to join you once she got to 18. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julesktm1 Posted May 15, 2014 Report Share Posted May 15, 2014 Just check with your case officer. Our son is going to stay to finish matrices and will be eighteen when he joins us. He will be a total dependent and come to oz four times a year for holidays. We were.told totally in order hope this helps xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted May 15, 2014 Report Share Posted May 15, 2014 My friends daughter validated her visa and then returned to complete her A levels - then came out to Aus and went to Uni. My daughter was 10 when she first heard us talking about Aus, she burst into tears and said we were making her leave her whole life behind - we acknowledged that we were but that at 10 she really wouldn't have much choice at wether she came with us or not - but we did make some promises which were easy to keep. We promised that we would tell her when things were happening, e.g. when we applied for the visa etc., we told her honestly that there we didn't know if we would get one, we promised that if we did, we wouldn't leave the country until after she had completed year 6 (she was in her last year at primary) because she'd said this was important to her. With her (and every child is different), acknowledging her feelings, worked, by the end she was happy about going and now at 19 says she's happy to have had her teenage years here in Aus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SJT Posted May 15, 2014 Report Share Posted May 15, 2014 When we told all three of ours about it, none of them wanted to come they were 7, 10 and 13 at the time. Eldest one would not discuss it at all and when we rehomed the cats, the tears in the house were awful and the looks James gave us over the months were soul destroying as he was so devastated. We had to activate our visas and again the eldest did not want to come, he said it was not a holiday but viewing where we were going to live and he did not want to part take in any of it. We had been on holiday for a week and were on the beach at Rottnest, where humpback whales were playing out at sea and you could see them from the beach, as James stood in clear water watching the whales play, he actually cried and said he could see why we wanted to move to such a beautiful part of the world and by the end of the holiday, all three kids did not want to go back to the UK. I think doing the trip helped all three of mine, as they knew where they were going and could see already it would be a different life. Don't get me wrong it has not been plain sailing and when it came to say goodbyes all the children were devastated. Emily my youngest has settled in the best she is now 9 and has made loads of friends, joined many clubs and is in the top sets at her school, she is thoroughly loving life here, James the eldest has settled he is a normal teenage boy as he is now 15 and prefers the company of himself in his room, but he is settled and very happy, and he says he would not like to go back and that his education is so much better here than in the UK, we have just brought our first ozzie home and move in Aug and the last couple of days he has really perked up as he now knows we will soon be looking at getting some new fur babies, that wont replace his old cat, but may help him move on from losing her. My middle one is my problem, Tom is 13 next week and I think that is the problem, even though he has made loads of mates, there is always someone knocking for him, he has a beautiful girlfriend and has sort of settled into high school, he really misses family and his old best friend. He said at the weekend he did not want to do much for his birthday as he would like a new phone instead but he would like a family dinner, then he got upset as he did not mean his siblings and parents but he meant with his nan and grandad and aunt and uncle and nieces, like we use to. And unfortunately that is the biggest thing with moving to the other side of the world, you cannot replace the family side. I think once his birthday has passed and we start to gear up to move into our own real home, we have been renting for two years, and he can put his stamp in his room and we get the new family pets everyone will settle more. Perth from what I can see has a lot of opportunties for the younger kids, can not comment on 18 years and older as to be honest I expect they will go off and explore the world at that age and they would have done in the UK, but Perth for us right now is a great life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sideshowdeb Posted May 15, 2014 Report Share Posted May 15, 2014 It's sad to hear others are going through this too, I thought it was just us...My 15 year old has been awful to live with recently and it's just come to light that he's been having second thoughts. I feel awful because if he's not happy then it will ruin everything for all of us and he's aware of that and it's only adding to the pressure he's feeling. He was the first person we told, back before anything was decided and he's been looking forward to it, or so I thought? The fact is now he has no choice but to come with us. He'd never want to stay with anyone else in the family so there's no chance he won't come, but I'm worried about him. He's got the most to lose out of all of us and at this stage in his education, he's kind of committed to staying in Perth long enough to complete his WACE, as we're leaving half way through his GCSE's. He's always been such a happy boy, it's heartbreaking to see him so withdrawn. He knows it's upsetting me and that's making him more miserable....as if being 15 isn't hard enough?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SJT Posted May 16, 2014 Report Share Posted May 16, 2014 Hi we did promise James, the eldest one if he really hated it and could not settle we would pay for him to fly back to the UK and he could either stay with his nan or my aunt, or go it alone once he reached 18, but could he at least give it go. I suppose at their age they are not being given the option, they have to to go where we tell them. I have said before on here, I think if you have kids the move is even harder, as you carry a lot of guilt with you. James had a friend in the UK, not a close friend but someone he knew around the school and she arrived in Perth two weeks ago in the same area we are in, and he is so excited that she might be starting his school and he has already been to the office to show her around as he loves his new school. Also I found that because the schools here have new people arriving all the time and going as well, they are prepared for it and they have the staff there to help them settle. And we are here to help on those bad days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lou8670 Posted May 16, 2014 Report Share Posted May 16, 2014 I have the same at the minute my 15 says there's no way she is going she wants to finish her education here ( doing Gcses next year) then to stay on for her A levels I have been meaning to post a similar post for ages it will break my heart if she doesn't come and I feel I couldn't cope not having her with me. She wants to live with the inlaws She's has a boyfriend who she's been with for a while so she also doesn't want to leave him I want to go but I can't leave her behind x Just make sure she validates her visa! That way she'll have 5 years to change her mind if she decides not to come. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arwen Posted May 16, 2014 Report Share Posted May 16, 2014 my little lucychops is 8 1/2, she is really not happy about going to oz, shes not happy in general at the moment, maybe because we are living all squashed in the mil house. im going to speak with her tonight once shes a bit happier. did anyone else's kids really not want to go but once you got there absolutely loved it ?? (please say yes) I am a right hard cow, at that age I wouldn't even enter into discussion about it. Mine were 7 and 3 when we cam and they both love it here 9 years down the line. at 8 she will be fine once she makes friends and settles at school. My only advice is don't voice any insecurities you may have within earshot. They are very good at repeating things and passing them off as their own feelings at that age. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cocolevi Posted May 16, 2014 Report Share Posted May 16, 2014 my little lucychops is 8 1/2, she is really not happy about going to oz, shes not happy in general at the moment, maybe because we are living all squashed in the mil house. im going to speak with her tonight once shes a bit happier. did anyone else's kids really not want to go but once you got there absolutely loved it ?? (please say yes) It's so hard at the end of the day were doing it for them trying to make their lives better I hope once she's there Jo she'll love it now I've just got to work on mine lol x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loulou Posted May 16, 2014 Report Share Posted May 16, 2014 My 8 year old was exactly the same just a year ago tears tantrums didn't want to leave his friends..... It was still the same for a few months after we arrived it would flare up now and again especially after he had FaceTime with his friends back home ...but now that has dwindled off and he has made new friends through football (soccer) and also school and they are having sleepovers etc so he is loving it now and if you ask him he just says he would like to go back to Wales for a holiday but is happy here . Hope that helps lou Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derbygirl42 Posted May 16, 2014 Report Share Posted May 16, 2014 My sisters boys were nearly 14, 10 and 8 when they moved to Oz. the 14 yr old hated it for six weeks and has told me since he spent the first 6 weeks loathing it and plotting how he could get back to the UK. My brother was over there at the time and it was his firm intention to return with him. Week 7 he started school and has never looked back, loves it there and has no desire to return to the UK even for a holiday! The kids have all just thrived and never looked back. Don't worry they'll settle in meet loads of mates and never look back as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadhouse Posted May 16, 2014 Report Share Posted May 16, 2014 my little lucychops is 8 1/2, she is really not happy about going to oz, shes not happy in general at the moment, maybe because we are living all squashed in the mil house. im going to speak with her tonight once shes a bit happier. did anyone else's kids really not want to go but once you got there absolutely loved it ?? (please say yes) Hi jo. Long time no speak , thought I best get back on here and see how people are doing and how they are progressing. Sad to here lil Lucy isn't feeling good about doing the move. I don't no if she has access to a computer but my oldest katie (9) has got a kindle and loves sending emails, maybe them two sharing feeling might help them get excited and realising there will be more friends out there and hopefully meeting up when we both there will make Lucy feel like she has a friend already. Even a letter to each other might help. I'm sure katie will be super excited to get to no another little girl in the same boat xx are you still hoping to move this Christmas time?? Or have you managed to do it any sooner. Our flights leave July 29th. Vvvvery excited/nervous/afraid all in one huge emotion. Just busting to get there now xxxx joanne xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jo and scott Posted December 9, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 9, 2014 Hi jo. Long time no speak ,thought I best get back on here and see how people are doing and how they are progressing. Sad to here lil Lucy isn't feeling good about doing the move. I don't no if she has access to a computer but my oldest katie (9) has got a kindle and loves sending emails, maybe them two sharing feeling might help them get excited and realising there will be more friends out there and hopefully meeting up when we both there will make Lucy feel like she has a friend already. Even a letter to each other might help. I'm sure katie will be super excited to get to no another little girl in the same boat xx are you still hoping to move this Christmas time?? Or have you managed to do it any sooner. Our flights leave July 29th. Vvvvery excited/nervous/afraid all in one huge emotion. Just busting to get there now xxxx joanne xx hi joanne, sorry, i missed all of the replies and this whole thread ! i knew id written this thread but just had to find it ! lucy is still struggling with the thought of going, but this morning i showed her my friends photos on fb, her kiddies are the same age and having a fab time, i think that helped her. im sure lucy would love to have a pen friend, maybe i could pm you our address. i see your location is baldivis, which is where we may end up, which school do your kiddies go to ? and how has it been since arriving ? lauren, now 10, is still really excited and cannot wait. we are hoping to come out by september, after the girls have both finished their school year. ive just asked lauren if we are able to go earlier than planned would she like to, or wait and finish the school year, she said go earlier :-))) xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jo and scott Posted December 9, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 9, 2014 thanks for all the replies on this thread, even tho its a while back, but lucy is still struggling with the idea, totally agree with you arwen, my girls dont have a say but i dont want to drag her screaming to the airport either :-/ i have promised them a dog once we arrive too :-/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julesktm1 Posted March 13, 2015 Report Share Posted March 13, 2015 Well my son didn't want to come. We said he could finish off year ten to twelve an then join us he would board. Well we moved at the end of Day December and he spent three weeks here with us. Went back to school and a few week later asked.if he could rather move. Yay well he arrives in two weeks. Try not to worry it will work out. Xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfie Posted March 14, 2015 Report Share Posted March 14, 2015 I am a right hard cow, at that age I wouldn't even enter into discussion about it. Mine were 7 and 3 when we cam and they both love it here 9 years down the line. at 8 she will be fine once she makes friends and settles at school. My only advice is don't voice any insecurities you may have within earshot. They are very good at repeating things and passing them off as their own feelings at that age. No I dont think your hard Arwen, I think your real in what you say. Think if my son had been that age I would have been the same. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benj1980 Posted March 14, 2015 Report Share Posted March 14, 2015 Thank god I have a 7,5 and 2 year old. Hopefully they'll settle well and quite quickly! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GaznSal Posted March 14, 2015 Report Share Posted March 14, 2015 My kids (10 & 8 yr old) were devastated to leave, they loved their school had tons of friends and busy social lives! However having been here 5 wks they are loving it, have settled really quickly in their new school and have lots of friends already, when I picked them up after their first day my son said "wow this is a fantastic school I love it". They Skype their closest friends back home still but not as often now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flatpack Posted March 14, 2015 Report Share Posted March 14, 2015 My nephew was 13 and was adamant he wasn't staying. He was going back to the UK as soon as he went 16. Well his 16th birthday has been and gone and he's still here and studying hard to get into uni here, the UK doesn't get a second glance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted March 15, 2015 Report Share Posted March 15, 2015 My kids (10 & 8 yr old) were devastated to leave, they loved their school had tons of friends and busy social lives! However having been here 5 wks they are loving it, have settled really quickly in their new school and have lots of friends already, when I picked them up after their first day my son said "wow this is a fantastic school I love it".They Skype their closest friends back home still but not as often now. We'd been here a year when my boy asked at dinner one evening "are we still on holiday"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duffieldtowers Posted March 15, 2015 Report Share Posted March 15, 2015 Emz was 13 when we came, I was the worst dad ever. I came over first. She struck a hard bargain was only going to come if she got an iPhone, grand piano, unicorn and a dolphin. She got the iPhone. Our plan was to get her active as soon as we could. She joined stagecoach, the gym etc etc etc. We promised that when we got PR, so 2 years in, she could visit the UK. She did, last Jan. Greta fun to start with, by week 3 or 4 she was calling us ready to come "home".... We had rubbish internet so Skype was out, keeping in touch with the UK was limited to FB etc. That actually helped. If this were an easy ride, everyone would do it. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jo and scott Posted March 15, 2015 Author Report Share Posted March 15, 2015 thank you so much for your replies :-)) im sure our girls will love it, im going to get them into lots of activities to make new friends and have lots of fun. we have actually had a bit of a turn around, lucy is very happy to go now, very excited. she has said she wants a leaving swim party with her friends, so last week we decided on a date and she wrote out lots of invites and handed them out to her friends, I still need to book the pool !! but its not until august so think I have plenty of time. lauren has changed her mind and wrote me a very long list of all the reasons to stay. I guess this is just part of the roller coaster and will have to ride it out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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