verystormy Posted May 20, 2014 Report Share Posted May 20, 2014 How do things effect your personality and what formed the person you are? Phycologists talk about this a lot, but I am not sure how much it does. The thread about movies made me think. My wife still finds it funny that this 6ft / 95kg ex army miner bulbs like a baby at things like the movie "a wonderful life" or gets emotional about fluffy animal stories and that i have a chihuahua. Does your life and background make you who you are? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jo and scott Posted May 20, 2014 Report Share Posted May 20, 2014 im off out now but looking forward to reading the replies later :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayliandnathan Posted May 20, 2014 Report Share Posted May 20, 2014 I think my upbringing and how my life has gone has definitely made me the person I am today, my mother left my father when I was 14 leaving me with a heart broken father, we looked after each other and at 14 I had to grow up and take on responsibilities that I never would have had too, coming from a broken family makes me want my own family to be and have the best chances in life. I as a young adult found myself getting in with the wrong crowd and drinking alcohol from a young age I felt my family life that was amazing was no longer there! I was lost!!! I luckily was one of the ones that found myself a good man who is now my husband and he became the rock in my life and we have been together nearly ten years in which time we have had our son who is 5 in July and I'm due to have our daughter this week. I'm very driven and want the best for my family giving my kids the support and opportunities I seemed to lose when my family life was broken down. I know work with people who are experiencing drugs and alcohol addiction along with homelessness and feel that having a passion for this has also allowed me to be a great support to vulnerable adults!! Sorry if I bored u all lol I'm on maternity leave and have too much time on my hands lol kayli x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verystormy Posted May 20, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 20, 2014 Loved to read your story Kayli. I can relate to a lot. Though for me, it shows, like myself, that we change and become who we are separate to our experience. We learn from our life, but I don't think it defines us. At least I hope not. I like you, had a very troubled childhood, though for different reasons. I had a lot of trouble and as a young adult was homeless - one of them people you see in the shop doorway on a saturday night. But, while I am sure it leaves a mark, I don't think it defines me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayliandnathan Posted May 20, 2014 Report Share Posted May 20, 2014 I think having life experiences can make or break people it's how u decide to deal with things. I won't settle for anything! I'm very determined and ambitious and I want to achieve the best and be the best I can be as a mother as a wife and as in my work that I can be! I agree having being through the mill or having bad pasts doesn't define people but It can shape the way you look on your life and on your future and how u are going to make changes in order to be the person you want to be!!! Xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ROB T Posted May 20, 2014 Report Share Posted May 20, 2014 Both of you have shared quite touching life experiences that should prove inspirational to others who take the time to read. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfie Posted May 20, 2014 Report Share Posted May 20, 2014 (edited) oh crikey Many close family members dying I guess at a young age shaped me. The rebellious teenage years possibly as a result of this. Perhaps thats where my outspoken down to earth matter of point not suffering fools gladly say it as i see it part has been shaped. Also perhaps thats why I lack the maternal instinct what women as suppose to have. Possibly again why I do not particularly give a £$% for what others think of me. Being taken under the wing of my no nonsense aunt but then rebelled against that. But mostly meeting my hubby after a bad first marriage that has made me the strong determined outspoken woman I am. The matter of trust being allowed to become myself to be able to do what I want when I want whenever I want with who ever I want and not be interrogated. The alternate friends who I class as my family that I have made along the way. Working in the crisis resolution home treatment team and on an acute psychiatric ward working at the community mental health team and community drug and alcohol team definitely has moulded my personality. Dear god if I wasnt "different weird or odd " before working there I certainly am now haha my second family of wonderfully crazy professional colleagues who I miss dreadfully. I truly believe if a psychiatrist/psychologist evaluated me they would need evaluating themselves after the session. We are all different that makes for an interesting world. Also life is what you and you alone make of it. If you want to lie down and become a victim then thats your choice and please do. For me that has never been an option I would say I am a one of lifes fighters. Chapter and verse closed Edited May 20, 2014 by elfie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Give me a break! Posted May 20, 2014 Report Share Posted May 20, 2014 I think it does definitely. I lost my Dad aged 12 and my Mum when I was 35 and I think its made me sweat the small stuff less for sure.Things that bother some just don't bother me because in the grand scheme of things I just feel lucky to have health and happiness 3 gorgeous kids and a Grandbaby in the way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deb Posted June 10, 2014 Report Share Posted June 10, 2014 What a good read I see bits of my life in all of you.When we struggle in life it makes us stronger. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
portlaunay Posted June 10, 2014 Report Share Posted June 10, 2014 I think that's an impossible question for me to answer. From my point of view, whatever experiences I've been through may be completely irrelevant to how I've grown. In another dimension another me might have had a completely different number of life experiences and still turned out to be a carbon copy of me. I have a dreadful memory, I've had an incredible life and I can recite most of it but I rarely actually recall it. I try to exist very much in the now, I cannot control the next moment, tomorrow, next year, there are too many variables, too much chaos. I have an idea of how I'd like to help shape it but control? No, I can't do that. There is no way for me to analyse and conclude accurately why I am like this so I don't like to waste energy on it. I just am. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arwen Posted June 10, 2014 Report Share Posted June 10, 2014 I moved around a lot as a child so find it easy to make friends. I know who I like pretty much instantly and if I don't like you then I won't be rude I just won't make the effort. I lost my Mum when I was 24 and since then I have made the best of what I have. I don't suffer fools and hope I am not rude in the process, it's often a fine line but I know I have upset people unintentionally. i don't have much patience and I hold a grudge, both of these traits I really dislike in myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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