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JasonM

Good News and Bad News

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Good News is we got our visa grants today, (punches the air YES) Bad news is i told the wife and she cried, not good tears and then said she was hoping we would be told no, she then phoned her Mum and she cried. Guess who feels the worst (ME), starting to think if we shouldn't go.

Will give it a few days and see how the land lies.

After all the stress of the visa process of the last year with selling my business and being in a job that i hate with my wife saying its not forever i am surprised to say the least.

Feeling a bit deflated

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congratulations on getting your visa Jason :-))

 

sending big hugs to your wife, it must be such an overwhelming feeling.

 

what are your plans now ?

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Sorry it's not the celebration you hoped for ... hope all turns out well.

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If it's any consolation I cried for 2 weeks after our visa came through, and when my husband was offered his job I told him I'd give anything for it to all fall through! Now I'm really excited and can't wait to begin my new life. And our mothers have come to terms with it and are looking forward to exploring Australia.

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Oh nooooo! Why did she not say anything until now? That's a lot of money to hope to lose....maybe it's just a knee jerk reaction to the reality of it all!

Congratulations anyway that's amazing!! I hope all works out in sure it will and you'll be there soon x

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Congratulations, it must be overwhelming for her that everything is falling into place and it is actually starting to happen. hopefully once she gets her head around it and see's what an amazing opportunity you have she comes around. Good luck.

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Congratulations on getting your visa wooohoooo. Sorry about your wife, I have felt that pain many times in the last 3 months and this weekend being mothers day the phone call with her this morning she said this will be our last mothers day together (yes i cried for a good hour) Im sure she will come round give her a big hug and talk it through with her Good luck with everything

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Congratulations - it really is an emotional roller coaster. I'm sure whatever you decide to do will be the right thing for you.

 

Look at it this way, you've now got the option to go, even if its just a validation trip/holiday, and your options will still be available to you when you get home.

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Oh bless you. I really feel for you both.

You can't celebrate and your wife can't be feeling great right now either.

 

What about going with the thought, that it is not forever, you can go with a view of it's an adventure for a couple of years, try it out and get that citizen thing ticked ( so you can always go back in the future) that way it might not feel like it's so final etc. You can experience it and see how it goes, she may get there and love it.

I am sure you will have discussed this whole thing at length. I hope you both make a mutual decision your happy with.

It is certainly a daunting experience when you are 100% for it ( I have daily doubts pop up) so i can't imadgine what it must feel like if you are not sure.

Good luck. xxx

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Oh bless you. I really feel for you both.

You can't celebrate and your wife can't be feeling great right now either.

 

What about going with the thought, that it is not forever, you can go with a view of it's an adventure for a couple of years, try it out and get that citizen thing ticked ( so you can always go back in the future) that way it might not feel like it's so final etc. You can experience it and see how it goes, she may get there and love it.

I am sure you will have discussed this whole thing at length. I hope you both make a mutual decision your happy with.

It is certainly a daunting experience when you are 100% for it ( I have daily doubts pop up) so i can't imadgine what it must feel like if you are not sure.

Good luck. xxx

 

i had already said give it 2 years and we will come back if she can't do it, the MIL has also asked to come out and help settle us in for the first 2-3 weeks that I agreed to but I guess the reality of actually getting the visa is a whole lot different. To discussing it. We will see, I thought we would be going mad now planning everything. My OH has gone down to her mums and has already phoned twice to see if I have already put the house up for sale. Oh what a mess, wasn't the celebration I wanted, I have also only told my mum as I may have to play the we didn't get the Visa card. Hope to come out but not worth destroying my family over. Watch this space.

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Hope it all sorts itself out, that's a real difficult situation. I'm expecting my visa any day and would also be gutted with that type of reaction!

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i had already said give it 2 years and we will come back if she can't do it, the MIL has also asked to come out and help settle us in for the first 2-3 weeks that I agreed to but I guess the reality of actually getting the visa is a whole lot different. To discussing it. We will see, I thought we would be going mad now planning everything. My OH has gone down to her mums and has already phoned twice to see if I have already put the house up for sale. Oh what a mess, wasn't the celebration I wanted, I have also only told my mum as I may have to play the we didn't get the Visa card. Hope to come out but not worth destroying my family over. Watch this space.

 

I think the MIL should come out after you've settled a bit, I would imagine coming out with you and then leaving again shortly after would be another gut wrenching moment for your wife. I think you should validate the visa's whatever happens that way you still have some options for a few years.

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You've got the visa, so your options are open. Try to understand your wife's needs, they may not be to your understanding right now but together I'm sure you can plan a bright future for all of you, where ever that will be.

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Oh dear as everyone has said at least you have the visa. My sister did the same thing got the visa, validated it, put the house on the market, sold it and then she couldn't go through with it so it was all called off. 9 months later she had another change of heart and they went for it. She's been there 4 years now and loves it as do the rest of the family, no plans to ever return. Best of luck to you, really hope it all works out for you all.

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Having just read two posts on PIO of couples separating after making the move because one wanted to go home, then it is a conversation that is defiantly a conversation that is better to have now rather than further down the line when you have made the move.

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Oh no, you must be gutted. I fully expect a bad reaction from certain friends but it must be awful if it's your spouse.

 

Could you afford a holiday? Maybe if she doesn't feel pressured, in a few weeks she will realise why she wanted to go in the first place?

 

Good luck :-)

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I agree with ali. The first two weeks out here for us was chaos. It wasn't that we were busy or anything but my head was just somewhere else, such massive emotions.

 

VS is right too, you need to have the conversations now because when you're here you'll be overwhelmed. As gar374 says, come to validate the visa at least. Have a long holiday and know that you're going back then, after a month or so, sit down and talk again.

 

Not coming and one of you being unhappy may likely be as significant as coming to the detriment of the other. I can't imagine how you must be feeling but if we can do anything to help there's a great community on PP.

 

All the best to you.

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Thanks all, my head is all over the place as I am sure so is my wife's. I will try to speak about things. Slowly slowly catchy monkey.

 

Appreciate everyone support.

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I pressed like as you had the visa, but so sorry for the stress you are experiencing , as everyone has said validate the visa it will give you time then to talk and think about it, when you get back home.

It is a daunting thing to do this moving to Oz, my hubby is only just getting used to it and we leave in 6 weeks, I have major wobbles but do not voice them , I just sound excited all the time. It is leaving what you know and the biggie family, it is Mothers Day this weekend ,not the right time to get that visa eh ? Let them enjoy the weekend and don't get dragged into an Oz conversation if you can help it.

Really feeling for you x

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Wow, thats not great - really sorry to hear that. We were notified of our visa's being approved today. Up until now my OH didn't seem that interested and I think secretly was hoping it would all fall through. However, she is super excited now. I'm pretty excited too, but stressed out thinking about job opportunities and the decline of the Aussie economy. Its really unsettling thinking that we are going to sell everything and effectively start all over again in a new country and with two young kids.

 

Really hope your OH comes around. I suspect she will, and just needs a little time. It's a massive change, I suppose we just have to deal with the anxiety until we are down under, then I'm sure things will just slot into place.

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Secretly was hoping it would all fall through lol

that was me 9 months ago !!! it was my idea

got myself a sponsor (457)kids and Mrs could'nt wait to go

i was secretly hoping it would all go wrong lol

just did not want to go

been here 6 months now and so glad i give it ago

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My wife was the same. Not keen to move here. She had never been out of Macclesfield more than a fortnight in her life. father in law didn't help with the big "no one thinks of me" routine. I had to come first, as I walked to the taxi, I heard "you don't have to go if you don't want to". I kept walking, she joined me 3 months later.... AND this is now HOME. In fact she settled very quickly. In laws came a few months later to visit, kicked off, left 3 days later...

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Back to good news, my OH is up for it and is now quiet excited, have a few downs but we blitzed the house at the weekend and it will be on the market and looking to be out end June / July. We will book flights as soon as we know how the house sale will go, have set up NAB, Money corp and we have John mason, crown and anglo pacific coming around to quote for the move. I will be emailing companies to see if i can get interviews on arrival. My daughters are excited and the little one thinks she is getting a pool, dont want to disappoint her just yet. Have been looking at rentals again around the quinns rock area. Happy Happy but also feel weird. Thanks for all the support and kind words.

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