Guest Guest6235 Posted May 5, 2015 Report Share Posted May 5, 2015 We have had some great days out and visited some lovely places in the 6 months we've been out here but my wife and I have really missed some family members at times. I am close to my parents and my wife to her sister. I have days when I think is it all worth it to miss the last several years of my parents lives and for them to miss seeing my daughter. The last week has been bad with my daughter as she had more immunisations last Tuesday and has had some bad days since, last night was another bad one, we've been up since 4am with her. These are the times when I think her Grandma (my Mum) would be great at comforting her, which she was, just to give my wife and myself a break. This sounds horrible but when there is nobody else then I'm afraid sometimes the parents are running on empty. It was strange getting her out of her room this morning as it was icy cold in there, with no central heating to put on. Heating is only fitted in the living room In the new build we are living in, even that room soon gets cold once you turn it off. Yes we knew what we were leaving behind but until you give it a try you really don't know for yourselves. To top it all off my wife's sister during her pregnancy lost her baby a couple of weeks back and this made it really hard for both of them. They spoke on the phone and on Skype but when people say the world is a smaller place because of Skype etc they don't allow for the internet connection breaking up and voice delay. Don't get me wrong we love some of the things over here but it's just a warning to those thinking of coming over that you may miss the support that some (not all) family members give you. I realise a lot of people don't have this issue so this will not be directed at you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verystormy Posted May 5, 2015 Report Share Posted May 5, 2015 I feel for you and understand. I have been around on the forums for a long time now and have been here seven years. in that time, I would say about one third of migrants leave and this is by far the most common reason. People do need to ask themselves if leaving one first world country to live in another first work country is really worth it. On on a practical note, Perth can get very cold and the houses are not built for it, but electric heaters can help a lot and my advice would be to invest in a couple. Don't forget, we are only still in autumn - winter doesn't start for another month. Kmart and Big W do very reasonably priced ones. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annjean Posted May 5, 2015 Report Share Posted May 5, 2015 Keefo I cannot believe it is 6 months for you already, time does fly. I know what it is like to be homesick and missing family and it can be very hard to overcome, it does depend on what is important to you and your immediate family. It does get very cold here especially at night & early mornings. We have ducted heating and electric blankets at night, only had the heating on the other night for the first time this year, we are near the coast and the wind coming off the sea is really cold, so we think twice about taking the dogs for a walk otherwise we rug up like we would in England.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pegg Posted May 5, 2015 Report Share Posted May 5, 2015 aww @Keefo i do feel for you .... here in the UK my parents are never seen and we get no help at all , so with kids somtimes you think "how we gonna get over this" and lack of sleep i think is the biggy !! Makes you not think straight . But hey hang in there ..... i cannot coment on missing family as im here in UK still - and i dont see my family here , so once in Oz i dont think it will bother me to much . but i know it must be horrid if youre missing people . Good luck and hang on in there ;o) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
odies Posted May 5, 2015 Report Share Posted May 5, 2015 Keefo, a very honest post. It is very different wanting to come and getting excited but once here it does hit you very hard all at once. I am ok during the day thinking this is so pretty etc etc but the nights are very long. I am lucky as I have come to be with family but the pull of the family back home is upsetting us everytime we facetime. Also do not underestimate the having your old friends around you. All those caught up in the wanting think hard,as a holiday here is not enough.I am staying positive so no worries but I do look around and see these families and it makes me think....I also see a lot of older mums and dads grabbing their holiday pushing prams about... And yes it gets so cold it's like going back to when I was little growing up in an old terraced house , you dare not move out of one room. The gas portable heaters are good and the electric convectors for the bedrooms, remember though it is only a few weeks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FOL Posted May 5, 2015 Report Share Posted May 5, 2015 Mate, we are pingpongers and definitely know how you feel. The sole reason for us to move back a year ago was due to family. Yeah you will miss family at times, especially at difficult times like this. But in a week from now when things are okay again and you live a beautiful life in Perth, then that should weigh up and overwhelm the few bad moments you have. Six months is too short to really settle and get a solid network of people around you. On the other hand, 6 months can be a dreadful long time when you miss friends and family every day. It's really up to you, the world is as it is. It's up to you how to perceive and deal with it. How a friend of mine, who recently moved back to the Netherlands after 6 years described her journey beautifully: My life in Australia was beautiful and I wouldn't want to miss it in the world. But in the end Australia was about the outside, the inside is what matters most to me and that's with family and friends. We are going back to Australia, knowing it won't be easy, knowing we are going to miss friends and family from "back home" regularly, but we are building a new life, getting to know new people and knowing that as a country and culture we love Australia. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deb Posted May 5, 2015 Report Share Posted May 5, 2015 Its 12months for us and still miss my family.We have a lovely house here but does not feel like home it is hard.You have to focus on what bought you came here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beandownunder Posted May 5, 2015 Report Share Posted May 5, 2015 this is my big worry ...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jo and scott Posted May 5, 2015 Report Share Posted May 5, 2015 im dreading leaving my mum and my 2 besties. yesterday my mum came over for dinner and we were looking on real estate at the houses, she asked me to look for her ! think she may have a plan to join us :-)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SJT Posted May 6, 2015 Report Share Posted May 6, 2015 We have been here nearly two years now and when we came over I thought we would be fine as we really did not get any help from family, or see much of them, so we wrongly presumed we would cope ok. I have really struggled with missing family and friends and not being able to pop in for coffee whenever I fancied, I also miss having my aunt turn up at any given moment for a chat and a coffee. My father in law had a heart attack in the UK on Good Friday and yes even though we are only a flight away, it seemed far too far. Financially we cannot afford to just hop on a plane and pop back and after a very serious chat we also decided that if the worse did happen, only my husband would go back for the funeral. We decided that the upset for the kids to go through a funeral and then leave all their family behind again in such sad circumstances would not be fair on the kids as the emotional stress would just be too much. On a day to day basis I am very happy here and so are my immediate family, it is just special times that we really miss family and feel we have cheated our children of special family time. Luckily my father in law is fine, but it did bring up some big questions that we had to deal with and for the first time we really questioned our move here Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted May 6, 2015 Report Share Posted May 6, 2015 I can understand those whose families are actively involved in childcare miss this when they move and don't have this to fall back on. We didn't have that so wasn't a big issue for us, but we did miss our friends, particularly when it was a birthday or celebration. My daughters birthday was just a few weeks after we arrived and she didn't want to invite any school friends as she'd only known them for a couple of weeks - having said that, we've developed a fantastic group of friends here who have become like family who we can turn to and brought meals when I came out of hospital. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt&beck Posted May 6, 2015 Report Share Posted May 6, 2015 I miss my mum and sister terribly even though back in the UK we were miles and miles away and only saw them once a year there. The physical distance became more obvious. Never been truer than when my mother in law passed away a few weeks back and we couldnt get back in time to say goodbye and then decided that my husband should go back alone for the funeral. Being here alone with the kids was just plain weird! Ive made some nice friends already in the 14 weeks we have been here though and they helped us through despite being so new. Everyone here understands that distance and how huge the move is. But yes, it is hard. And yes, it is flipping freezing - I have woolie socks, trackie, hoodie etc on tonight and its like a flippin esky in this place !! LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfie Posted May 7, 2015 Report Share Posted May 7, 2015 It is hard missing the familiar - yes not family. But remember it was "yours, mine" and whoever else's decisions to move, albeit for the right or wrong reasons. We have resentment from my MIL who is stubborn as a mule. Both fit strong and health. It is my MIL 70th birthday next year I am encouraging my hubby to go back for a visit he is also becoming as stubborn as his mother and does not want to go. The subject of birthday visit is closed as far as he is concerned. I feel he should go back to see his parents both healthy and well as they are getting older. Just hipping on a plane is not like catching the bus or train to get home. I feel for you both chin up theres always someone worse off ............... but on times we think it is only us Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne Posted May 7, 2015 Report Share Posted May 7, 2015 We have lived in Oz for 40yrs. I don't think you ever get over missing where you came from. Homesickness will often be an issue whether you had close family or not. Once the children grow up it's just something you learn to live with. We went back after 4yrs but it is so difficult to settle again, making us wish we had never come in the first place. However, now you are here Keefo, try & enjoy at least the next couple of years or you might regret it. Decide not to discuss whether to return until that time is up. Perhaps continue renting so that you don't feel tied down & are free to make decisions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trevnod Posted May 11, 2015 Report Share Posted May 11, 2015 Is it really that cold though?? Is it maybe because your used to it whereas someone coming over fresh from Britain to Perth winter would maybe not think so....? Keefo I cannot believe it is 6 months for you already, time does fly. I know what it is like to be homesick and missing family and it can be very hard to overcome, it does depend on what is important to you and your immediate family. It does get very cold here especially at night & early mornings. We have ducted heating and electric blankets at night, only had the heating on the other night for the first time this year, we are near the coast and the wind coming off the sea is really cold, so we think twice about taking the dogs for a walk otherwise we rug up like we would in England.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arwen Posted May 11, 2015 Report Share Posted May 11, 2015 Is it really that cold though?? Is it maybe because your used to it whereas someone coming over fresh from Britain to Perth winter would maybe not think so....? It's cold! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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