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jo and scott

How'd you cope with families visiting ?

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It can be difficult (for everyone), the excitement and seeing them turns into "we don't usually spend this long with them" lol. My in-laws came for 12 weeks once - it was too long for all of us. The ideal time has been about 4 - 5 weeks. We take odd days off during the week to go places - my in laws are good at exploring themselves and a long weekend to take them somewhere like Albany or Margaret river. Remember, that whilst you have visitors your ordinary lives carry on - going to work, cooking dinner, kids at school homework, activities etc., My father in law liked going to my sons soccer training to watch.

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Thankyou :-) both our mums have been out to visit, my mum came at Easter for 2 weeks, she still works full time. It was great but she has decided on 3 weeks next time. We can't wait, our girls are excited too!! My mil arrived in January and stayed for 6 weeks, she's retired. I found this quite difficult as the girls wanted to go to the park / meet their friends, we'd only been here 11 weeks! She wanted to do different things to the girls. She won't drive or go out by herself. I've said to her it would be really lovely for her to visit for 3 weeks in February, she replied to Scott, if it's not convenient for me to stay, then I'll stay in a hotel. Basically I'm not bothered when is okay for you, I'll do what I like! I'd like to go camping with friends in January as it's the school holidays. She would not want to go camping.

I can't cope with her whilst the girls are off school. Like you say, visitors are on holiday and we're not.

Scott spoke to her this week and asked her when she's coming out and she said just after Christmas When it's just mil and myself, we have an ok time but she's not the easiest person to be around.

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mmm weve still to experience this !

 

Weve got one set for 5 weeks from december ….. then the other side mid jan for 5 weeks !!!! Arghhhh

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Good luck pegg! I loved having my mum here. Maybe it's because it was just for 2 weeks so we did have a great time!

I would just rather mil come in Feb. We lived with her for a long time whilst saving up for the visa so I feel awful. She's very demanding and I just can't cope with her and the girls at the same time.

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We've currently got my two older children, this is very lovely and we are enjoying having them, but we also have my mum and my aunt, both in their 70's, for three weeks. With the 4 of us and the 4 of them it has meant that when our littlen isn't at school we've had to take two cars! Ive got a 7 seater but we are one over at the weekends and the odd day we've let her have off. We have used the train and buses which has been great, so much easier and well thought out than home.

My mum isn't even a "cup half empty" person, shes got a tiny dribble of pi$$ in hers, if I hear " oh its so cold" or " oh its raining again, I didn't think it rained in Australia" again I'm going to scream! The other day we took them out to Jarahdale and my mum said " Wouldn't want to live out here must be terrible in winter" it IS FOOKING winter its doesn't get any colder than now, was my retort!! How many times !! lol

My Aunt is lovely but wont eat anything making going out for dinner a bit limiting!!

I also took three weeks off work without pay so not only have we had no money coming in but we've haemorrhaged money from our savings!! Mind you, this was our decision as we wanted to spend time with them and they have been good about paying their way but next time im just going to stay at work!!

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We've currently got my two older children, this is very lovely and we are enjoying having them, but we also have my mum and my aunt, both in their 70's, for three weeks. With the 4 of us and the 4 of them it has meant that when our littlen isn't at school we've had to take two cars! Ive got a 7 seater but we are one over at the weekends and the odd day we've let her have off. We have used the train and buses which has been great, so much easier and well thought out than home.

My mum isn't even a "cup half empty" person, shes got a tiny dribble of pi$$ in hers, if I hear " oh its so cold" or " oh its raining again, I didn't think it rained in Australia" again I'm going to scream! The other day we took them out to Jarahdale and my mum said " Wouldn't want to live out here must be terrible in winter" it IS FOOKING winter its doesn't get any colder than now, was my retort!! How many times !! lol

My Aunt is lovely but wont eat anything making going out for dinner a bit limiting!!

I also took three weeks off work without pay so not only have we had no money coming in but we've haemorrhaged money from our savings!! Mind you, this was our decision as we wanted to spend time with them and they have been good about paying their way but next time im just going to stay at work!!

 

This is the reason why I go to work and ignore them!:laugh:

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I have to say Mil and Fil were very understanding of our situation when they stayed. It was a mix of holiday and work time for us. We did a few trips when on school holiday and they took themselves off for trips when the kiddies were back in school. They stayed for 5 weeks and it was only in the last week that cracks started to appear. I think this is pretty natural over time but overal the holiday was a success for them and not a painful experience for us! Incidentally they've booked up for 4 weeks next time without any pressure from us!

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My sister brother in law and teen nephew came in Feb. My nephew wouldnt get up to go any where my sister treated him like a 4yr old " would you like a little boiled egg for breakfast" arghhh. The insisted in walking in 40 deg we left them to it lol then they realised it was hot. We had to keep reminding them to drink water .... It was strained after 3 weeks. We both took time off work to take them places ect. Total culture shock for them. No sun beds on the beaches haha amazed you had to cart so much with you when you went. Relationship has been strained since 3 yrs later..... No matter how much you accommodate sometimes its not appreciated. Neen in this house now 18 mths and she has never phoned. So I dont bother anymore. Just cant be bothered specially since no Xmas card from them last year... Such is life. Also educating that doors need to be closed when aircon is on was hard .......

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Had quite a few visitors over the years. Generally it involves using up all of your annual leave to drive them around all over the place so they get to see everything on their "once in a lifetime" holiday (which they had to take visiting you because you left them behind so it's your fault). Up until we had moved here, my wife hadn't spent longer than a day or so in one go in her mums company since she turned 20. Her mum visited for six weeks. Swopped moaning about the cold in England for moaning about the heat in Perth and then some. She didn't like the fish and chips, Coronation Street was a year behind, it got dark too early, it got light too early. The spuds tasted funny, there was no ASDA or Waitrose. Six weeks of complaints. She liked the house though but reckoned we needed thick carpets and wallpaper to finish it off.

 

My missus bawled her eyes out at the airport as she said goodbye to her mum and as we got back into the car for the drive home, looked at me and said "thank god that's over, never again".

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My parents come every year a little longer each time. This year they are coming for 4 months in Perth and then over to Sydney to my brother for 2 months. It works for us as they have got their own place to stay and hire their own car. They have been here so many times they don't expect us to do anything special and the boys get the proper experience of staying at nana and grandads.

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The goodbyes at the end are difficult though - so be prepared, I remember the first time taking my dad to the airport and we had to stop the car on the way home so I could get in the back with my son who was inconsolable and said he wasn't ever going to take anyone to the airport when they were going home again (he was 8 and hasn't been since). I found it easier when I waved him off knowing he was going to QLD to visit my brother.

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thanks for your replies :-)

I think it would be great if mil went out, hired a car, but she comes on her own, so I think it would feel odd, so its just me and her all day every day, even when ive met up with friends, she came along, which was fine. but I felt suffocated after a while.

we all took my mil to the airport, we were a little bit sad, for about 5 minutes ! I balled my eyes out all the way home to secret harbour when I dropped my mum at the airport tho :-(

im trying to think of ways to cope when she comes out again, I don't want it to be stressful, but I am already feeling anxious :-/

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My parents come every year a little longer each time. This year they are coming for 4 months in Perth and then over to Sydney to my brother for 2 months. It works for us as they have got their own place to stay and hire their own car. They have been here so many times they don't expect us to do anything special and the boys get the proper experience of staying at nana and grandads.

 

I think this is great, you have the best of both worlds. You stay here and family visit for a long enough time for it to be worth while for them and your children. My Mum could have come for longer or could have come at a different time but wanted to come with my older children which is fair enough but she has stated that she wont do it again because "Its such a long way". It is but what else is she doing apart from walking the dog!! And that's another thing, she cant leave the dog for any longer than 3 weeks!! Even though he stays with her friend who also walks him everyother day when shes at home so he wouldn't care. Theres always an excuse not to come again! (sigh) don't know why cause she thoroughly enjoyed herself and spent time with her small grandchildren! Still nowt as queer as folk!! especially family folk!

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The goodbyes at the end are difficult though - so be prepared, I remember the first time taking my dad to the airport and we had to stop the car on the way home so I could get in the back with my son who was inconsolable and said he wasn't ever going to take anyone to the airport when they were going home again (he was 8 and hasn't been since). I found it easier when I waved him off knowing he was going to QLD to visit my brother.

 

Took my older children, mum and aunt to airport Sunday just gone and my 7 year old was beside herself!! By the time we had to let them go though to the security part of the airport we were all balling our eyes out. It was totally horrible!!

One good thing has come out of their visit though, both my girls have PR but don't really remember our last visit and didn't want to come when we said we were going to finally give it a go. Having been here as young adults this time and understanding what PR meant to them the conversations Ive had this week with them have all revolved around them wanting to come back!! So, we'll see what happens.

However, back on topic, I found saying goodbye at the airport this time more difficult than when we left the UK nearly six months ago, it was horrible. And its only the last day or so that we've managed to pick ourselves back up.

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Took my older children, mum and aunt to airport Sunday just gone and my 7 year old was beside herself!! By the time we had to let them go though to the security part of the airport we were all balling our eyes out. It was totally horrible!!

One good thing has come out of their visit though, both my girls have PR but don't really remember our last visit and didn't want to come when we said we were going to finally give it a go. Having been here as young adults this time and understanding what PR meant to them the conversations Ive had this week with them have all revolved around them wanting to come back!! So, we'll see what happens.

However, back on topic, I found saying goodbye at the airport this time more difficult than when we left the UK nearly six months ago, it was horrible. And its only the last day or so that we've managed to pick ourselves back up.

 

Good news that your eldest ones have enjoyed being here and thinking of coming over - that's good news.

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to save most family relationships-get them to stay close by in a holiday rental home!!-you can visit them and leave!

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My mom and sis coming over for 4 weeks (sis only 2 weeks). First time, so I am curious how it will go. They come for us not Australia, so definitely no holiday home for them. Baesises they are not really adventurous, so we'll be the guide.

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I think it gets a bit repetitive when visitors suggest seeing kangaroos with each visit or going to the local zoo to see Koalas (which they could do in the UK!)

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My wife's parent came for a month, lasted 3 days. Hillarys was "dirty" (a fly attacked him). He sat in drovers with napkins on his head and down his collar (flies again). He tried to eat a cream cake at Hangover Bay whilst wearing a fly net.... didn't end well. Came again, managed 5 days with us, then moved far far away.... Now they are coming to live here.... Good luck.

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My Mum is hinting to come out again for a month in February. I'll give her her due as she's 82 and on her own. Mind she flys business class. It's just that for the last couple of times it's been really very difficult. She's not great company and expects to be waited on hand and foot. Then of course I'm racked with guilt about the whole thing . Not easy at all.

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It is so hard to have close family and friends to stay in your home for a prolonged period. Firstly you will have to rethink the bedroom situation to make room for them... then they are tourists and you are the tour guide - having used your holiday allocation to be so and kids are probably still in school for some of their holiday time so routine needs to be observed. And often they just think you are the hired help and will sit back and let you wait on them. But you love these people and want them in your life so have to talk about their attitude and wants and your new life and needs and wants.... and that just leaves everyone trying to find their place in new lives. It is so very hard... been there and done that... and thankfully we all came out alive at the other end. However the best thing that came out of that is the way we all leave each other at the airport. Whether we are in UK or WA... the host just drives up to the departure drop off and we unload luggage and hug goodbye and we go do what we have to do. I much prefer that drop off at Gatwick to the horrendous hours of sitting and not knowing what to say and trying not to cry.... and my friends and family are the same when we drop them at Perth airport.

 

Bottom line is that it is hard .... but know that whoever has visited you, loved you enough to come half way around the world to spend time with you.

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