Guest Hoppers Posted September 29, 2011 Report Share Posted September 29, 2011 Hi all We are in the early stages of our migration process so it will be a while before we know whether this will be an issue but I am struggling to come to terms with leaving my parents here. They are in their late 60s and both have already had heart problems. I know that if we make this move it will be the best thing we can do for our children but I can't bear the thought of not being here if they need me. I know most of you will have been through the same agony so would be very grateful for words of wisdom. Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest judyq Posted September 29, 2011 Report Share Posted September 29, 2011 Hi, this is such a hard one and i don't have the answers as am struggling with it myself! My o.h doesn't have a good relationship with her parents but i do and it has plagued us for years..in fact is the main reason we have not already gone! In the end it was having the children and deciding to do what is best for them and us as a family. You could spend years being around for your parents and the kids become to old to move without major trauma.It also felt a bit like we were waiting for them to be out of the way which is awful! We have just decided to go and take things as they come. We will deal with stuff as it happens A really hard one though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Hoppers Posted September 29, 2011 Report Share Posted September 29, 2011 Are your parents supportive of your decision? Mine have developed a new contempt for Australia and take every opportunity to slate Aus and big up the UK. We have stopped talking about it now. Like you we have to keep reminding ourselves that our priority has to be our children and what is best for them. My OH's parents have passed on so, although he is very close to my parents, he is finding this easier than me. Not a bad thing because he gives me much needed pep talks when I have my guilty moments. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Give me a break! Posted September 30, 2011 Report Share Posted September 30, 2011 We have this but in reverse. Both my parents have passed away so I have never felt I was leaving them behind, but my OH's are very much still alive and really were pretty unhelpful when it came to the migration process. They wouldnt talk about it and said horrible things and even to this day when I post nice things on Facebook dont comment but if its something negative they love it and jump in with the "When are we coming "home"?" drives me nuts. My OHs parents are divorced and he saw his Dad probably twice a year , but that didnt stop his Dad from crying down the phone about how much he missed him! He said he was saving to come to Australia for a visit but it was so expensive, yet he has managed to go to Lanzarote twice on holiday in the 15 months since we have been here! Its so difficult and I know it must hurt, but you HAVE to put you and your families future first, and listen to your Hubby in those guilty moments he really has lost his parents for good, you will still be able to Skype and phone and maybe even visit. Good luck:wubclub: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ali_M Posted September 30, 2011 Report Share Posted September 30, 2011 Hi Karen, I completely know what you're going through. My parents are in their late 70's and I'm an only child and have brought their only grandchildren to Perth. They were devastated. However, my thinking is exactly as judyq has expressed above. It's your immediate family unit that counts and you have to do what you think is best for them. I've now been in Perth for about 6 weeks and so far we are all loving it. Apart from the obvious like the beaches, the outdoors, lack of crowds, climate (although that's not been great since we arrived!), it's so refreshing being in a place that just feels so optimistic and looks like it's got a future. I'm amazed your parents are finding anything positive to say about the UK, even mine can see it's going to the dogs! Whilst on a rational level, I have completely justified the move to myself, on another level I will always feel guilty for leaving them and more so when the inevitable happens and they fall ill. However it took me a long time to start thinking like that so perhaps it's something you'll need to get used to slowly. Good luck with your planning!! Al xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Hoppers Posted September 30, 2011 Report Share Posted September 30, 2011 Thanks all for your insights. I am hoping that they will spend more time in Aus if/when we get there. They already go for a few months every couple of years but now we have decided to go permanently it is no longer the place to be! I am sure they will get over it when they see the great lives their grandchildren are having. Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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