Guest Pathfinder Posted March 4, 2012 Report Share Posted March 4, 2012 Hi, Myself, OH and daughter aged 11 are weighing up moving to Perth. There are many things that concerns me like everyone else when they are moving to the other side of the world but after reading lots of posts I can't seem to find many from older mums arranging meet ups. I'm 49 and have seen lots of people who introduce themselves (usually in the 30 - 40 age group) - maybe its just me being paranoid!!. When my daughter started at school I thought she would have the oldest mum picking her up in the playground but was happy to find a wide age range so didn't feel too ancient. If/When she goes to secondary school in Perth I obviously won't be at the school gate and therefore worry the opportunities to meet other mums/females would be more difficult. By the way, I am younger in my ways and oh is 6 year younger so I don't write myself off but feel it may put some off. Are there any older mums out there that have felt a bit "isolated"? Thanks Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weedolly Posted March 4, 2012 Report Share Posted March 4, 2012 I we were out in Oz for just over 2 years mostly in Melbourne and then Perth. We have a 2 1/2 year old and I will be 48 this year! (and my toyboy is 7 years younger) so your not the only oldish mum. Am at home for the moment but hopefully be back in Perth by summertime. Let us know where you end up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pingpongpom2 Posted March 4, 2012 Report Share Posted March 4, 2012 Hi Karen & Weedolly:smile:..i too am an older Mum..i am 48 and have an eight year old..we (hubby of 25 years & he is younger by one year!) have older children too..we have a 24 year old son in Perth & twins who are 22 in the UK, so a big gap.. there are a few of us older Mum's on here:wink:..i grew up in Perth & have most of my family there and we are also on our way back in the summer..so maybe there could be an older Mum's meet up, when we all arrive there?..our youngest was born in Perth, and as an older Mum i did not feel isolated at all..as time goes on if you plan to work you will meet people & also as you settle just little things like getting to know your neighbours & becoming a regular at your local shops etc. will gradually help you to have contacts and find you own way.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Legal Angel Posted March 4, 2012 Report Share Posted March 4, 2012 Hi Karen I'm an older mum - 47 with a 10 year old daughter - and we arrived from Ireland last September and going back to Ireland this coming August. There were all sorts picking up children at my daughters school, parents, grandparents, etc, so I didn't feel out of place. What I noticed though is that although I've had about 6 or so children back to my house for play days, my lovely daughter has only been asked back once. I find that bad manners and cruel. My daughter wants to know why they don't invite her over? I work full time so don't get to meet the mums at the gate anymore so that probably hasn't helped and also, I just don't find people that friendly. It may be that I am here on my own with my daugther, I think it would be much easier with an OH but we have joined a local sports and social club, my daughter does Girl Guides and I go to a local exercise class, but its a lonely existence. I lived in Australia before, have family here and an australian passport so its not like its all new to me but even though Ireland is in the grips of a dreadful recession, I can't wait to go back. Struggling with huge rent, shop prices are ridiculous - sorry I'm ranting again! To answer your question, age wont be a factor - try it - some love it and some don't - you be the judge. All the best Andrea Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sal Posted March 5, 2012 Report Share Posted March 5, 2012 I'm ancient - over 50, son in Year 11. there are still opportunities to make friends through high school - most school Mum's I got to know were through rowing! Then my son is in the school musical and they have weekly meetings to make costumes. I made friends standing on the side lines watching him play hockey on wet Saturday afternoons - there are so many sports clubs - your daughter might like netball - huge over here. Our community centre runs art/craft classes - and I got to know people that way. I'm doing night classes at the moment for fun - only once a week and although I am not going to be big buddies with the people in the class it gets me out of the house. I joined a babysitting group when my boys were younger - still meet those women today for coffee. I'm also in a book club - actually started my own but if you ask about you'll find many women are in them. We read a book one month, go and see a film the next so have two months to read the book (and no one ever does - more of a gossip club!). Schools tend to have social things for each year - coffee mornings for all year 8 Mum's for example, and one evening function each year. My son's school have a welcome back evening barbeque for all parents. Last week there was a talk for parents at night about drugs/alcohol. The important thing is to say yes to everything - even if you don't want to go - for the first three months never say no and you'll meet people! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Pathfinder Posted March 5, 2012 Report Share Posted March 5, 2012 Hi all, Nice to know I'm not the only one then!! No but seriously, I do realise I would have to get myself out there, and have interests now and not living near a city here I would probably quite like trying things that I hadn't thought of - Bookclub? Maybe. I do intend to work eventually so I'll just be me. Hopefully OH will accept the job offer and we can make plans either way, I'm mentally preparing, not sure he is?. Legal Angel - I am sorry it hasn't fulfilled your dream and that you have made the decision to come back - maybe Ireland is where your soul belongs, despite what is happening over here,it isn't all doom and gloom, just don't put the news on and listen to all negativity and you will make your own mind up, nowhere is perfect unless you can live like Richard Branson or Cliff Richard on an idilic island, or even Daniel O'Donnell? Just to let you know anyone under 40 is also free to join the fogey thread as most topics of conversation are welcome - "Do you remember the days when"............... Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
liverpoolloo Posted March 6, 2012 Report Share Posted March 6, 2012 Hi all, i am a 54yr old mum with a son of 35 and daughter 29 both married,LOL!! i shall be coming on my own to perth this year so imagine how i feel wondering if i will ever meet anyone my own age, i often lie awake at night thinking how mad i must be, but in the words of Judy Dench in her latest film ' The most exotic Marigold Hotel' ' To fail is never to have tried ' so where ever i end up living in perth i shall post on here to arrange or attend one of the meet ups or coffee mornings. I am hoping to go south of the river but i suppose it all depends on work. Perhaps we should all keep in touch and meet for coffee one fine day. Ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scot01 Posted March 6, 2012 Report Share Posted March 6, 2012 I was looking after a friend's dog over the weekend and have discovered a new way to make friends - everyone talks to you if you have a dog! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arwen Posted March 6, 2012 Report Share Posted March 6, 2012 Hi Karen I'm an older mum - 47 with a 10 year old daughter - and we arrived from Ireland last September and going back to Ireland this coming August. There were all sorts picking up children at my daughters school, parents, grandparents, etc, so I didn't feel out of place. What I noticed though is that although I've had about 6 or so children back to my house for play days, my lovely daughter has only been asked back once. I find that bad manners and cruel. My daughter wants to know why they don't invite her over? I work full time so don't get to meet the mums at the gate anymore so that probably hasn't helped and also, I just don't find people that friendly. It may be that I am here on my own with my daugther, I think it would be much easier with an OH but we have joined a local sports and social club, my daughter does Girl Guides and I go to a local exercise class, but its a lonely existence. I lived in Australia before, have family here and an australian passport so its not like its all new to me but even though Ireland is in the grips of a dreadful recession, I can't wait to go back. Struggling with huge rent, shop prices are ridiculous - sorry I'm ranting again! To answer your question, age wont be a factor - try it - some love it and some don't - you be the judge. All the best Andrea Some parents I know just don't like kids over at their houses. Their places are like show homes and they don't like kids messing it up or a couple I know can't stand the noise. It could be as simple as that. Good luck on your return to Ireland. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Pathfinder Posted March 6, 2012 Report Share Posted March 6, 2012 Yes i'd like to meet up, might have to bump this thread up in a few months eh..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arwen Posted March 6, 2012 Report Share Posted March 6, 2012 Yes i'd like to meet up, might have to bump this thread up in a few months eh..... I am 41 so not that much younger than you. Nearly all my friends are late 40s early 50s. When I first arrived I did all the usual expat coffee groups and to be honest found all the younger women a bit hard work. If you happened to meet up with one lady away from the main group, the others got the major hump. I am too old for playground behaviour so I pretty much withdrew from all of that. Always on the lookout for good friends to have a chat with over a coffee or a wine. Good luck with the move. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
liverpoolloo Posted March 6, 2012 Report Share Posted March 6, 2012 I am 41 so not that much younger than you. Nearly all my friends are late 40s early 50s. When I first arrived I did all the usual expat coffee groups and to be honest found all the younger women a bit hard work. If you happened to meet up with one lady away from the main group, the others got the major hump. I am too old for playground behaviour so I pretty much withdrew from all of that. Always on the lookout for good friends to have a chat with over a coffee or a wine. Good luck with the move. Have to agree with you as i am way past playground behaviour and talk on nappies and such like, i had visions of all the younger mums rubbing their hands together thinking whoopee an older member of the group who will be great for babysitting, i have my 2 dogs i will be bringing with me who are a handful enough, and like the earlier post said you do meet and chat to some lovely people also walking dogs. We must bump up the thread later on, i hope to be over there aug/sept. Ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arwen Posted March 6, 2012 Report Share Posted March 6, 2012 Have to agree with you as i am way past playground behaviour and talk on nappies and such like, i had visions of all the younger mums rubbing their hands together thinking whoopee an older member of the group who will be great for babysitting, i have my 2 dogs i will be bringing with me who are a handful enough, and like the earlier post said you do meet and chat to some lovely people also walking dogs. We must bump up the thread later on, i hope to be over there aug/sept. Ann 2 boxers and 2 daughters aged 14 and 10. My marbles disappeared long ago!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Shelly23 Posted March 6, 2012 Report Share Posted March 6, 2012 Hi, Myself, OH and daughter aged 11 are weighing up moving to Perth. There are many things that concerns me like everyone else when they are moving to the other side of the world but after reading lots of posts I can't seem to find many from older mums arranging meet ups. I'm 49 and have seen lots of people who introduce themselves (usually in the 30 - 40 age group) - maybe its just me being paranoid!!. When my daughter started at school I thought she would have the oldest mum picking her up in the playground but was happy to find a wide age range so didn't feel too ancient. If/When she goes to secondary school in Perth I obviously won't be at the school gate and therefore worry the opportunities to meet other mums/females would be more difficult. By the way, I am younger in my ways and oh is 6 year younger so I don't write myself off but feel it may put some off. Are there any older mums out there that have felt a bit "isolated"? Thanks Karen Hi there, I too am over 40 with a 10yr old daughter, and am thinking by the time we get over I'll be in the same situation. I'm very keen to meet up when were there, all depends on IELTS exam at the moment, if all goes well we'll be there asap, as sold our house and living in rental. My husband also my toyboy by 3 yrs, we're very keen on socialising (drinking), and enjoying ourselves. Age is a state of mind. Michelle:rolleyes: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pingpongpom2 Posted March 6, 2012 Report Share Posted March 6, 2012 Yes i'd like to meet up, might have to bump this thread up in a few months eh..... Absolutely Pf..really good thread & it would be good to have a meet up at some time:wink:...i agree Arwen..at our age you get over the 'playground behaviour'..i stood in the primary school playground 20 years ago with my older three & am there again now with my youngest, and i can't be doing with the cliques and gossip..so let's keep this thread bumped up... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Give me a break! Posted March 7, 2012 Report Share Posted March 7, 2012 Hi Ive been here, just over 20 months now and love it. Im 44 wth a ten year old. He is my third, I also have a 21 year old and an 18 year old , both daughters, who live in Brisbane. Im not working, through choice at the moment, far too many nice things to do here. We have just built our own house so my time has been taken up with that. I was on the P&C of the school my son attends, but I left there because quite frankly the behaviour of some parents was tantamount to childish bullying. My own OH is many years my junior, not sure if he keeps me young or if I keep him old Im kind of over the big meet ups now, as they almost always end up at some park with lots of kids storming around and I just dont have the patience for that anymore bah humbug Anyway my OH works nights at the moment so coffee around mine is out anyway as he has to sleep and evenings out are rare as I still need a babysitter, so day time trips out for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cassy Posted March 7, 2012 Report Share Posted March 7, 2012 Hi there, I am 51 with an 11yr old daughter...( 3 grown up kids back in the UK..miss them terribly) have been here 7mths and have to say I am struggling with it.. Havent met anyone to have a chin wag and a drink yet... my daughter seems fine and has made friends.. but they always seem to be at our house. Love my hubby to bits.. but there is a time when we need a break from each other ha ha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackboots Posted March 7, 2012 Report Share Posted March 7, 2012 I was really worried about being an older mom , also meeting people when i have had notes passed along at school for the kids to meet up , then thinking oooh poo, if its an eighteen year old mom im off .. no offence i just can't make the conversation . Luckily ive met some great moms who are all ages plus the 40 + brackets and they are all sooo friendly and some really great pals of PIO etc .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ali_M Posted March 7, 2012 Report Share Posted March 7, 2012 Hi there, I also count myself in the older mum bracket, particularly as my children are still quite young. I'm 46 with a 7 and 5 year old. I felt really old compared to some of the other mums in the playground when we first arrived, but I'm much less self conscious now. Many of my friends are probably a good 10 years younger than me (at a guess, it's not a conversation I tend to initiate!). However, I tend to make a beeline for those who look around my age! Would love to meet up with others on this thread! Ali Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Pathfinder Posted March 7, 2012 Report Share Posted March 7, 2012 Oh I can relate to what many of you have said. There seems to be a few families with gaps on here as well as me. Thought long and hard about starting over again when my youngest son was 15 and eldest 20, and now all of a sudden we have Georgia at 11. (always said to my OH i expected to be cruising for my fortieth not wiping up mess but it was my choice in the end) My boys have long flown the nest. I dont know many mums who have second families, my "older" friends all waited for their first family - hence meeting them at school gates (don't like to refer to them as "older" friends but can't think of a polite word) Cassie, are you in regular touch with your family back home and what school does your daughter go to in Secret harbour? I guess she hasn't gone into senior school yet? Secret Harbour and Waikiki was one area I have looked at (virtually)loved the proximity to the beach but wasn't sure about the schools which is one of the most important factors for us mums isn't it. I do like coffee, morning, noon or night but occasionally like a glass of wine or two - shiraz maybe....................... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cassy Posted March 8, 2012 Report Share Posted March 8, 2012 Oh I can relate to what many of you have said. There seems to be a few families with gaps on here as well as me. Thought long and hard about starting over again when my youngest son was 15 and eldest 20, and now all of a sudden we have Georgia at 11. (always said to my OH i expected to be cruising for my fortieth not wiping up mess but it was my choice in the end) My boys have long flown the nest. I dont know many mums who have second families, my "older" friends all waited for their first family - hence meeting them at school gates (don't like to refer to them as "older" friends but can't think of a polite word) Cassie, are you in regular touch with your family back home and what school does your daughter go to in Secret harbour? I guess she hasn't gone into senior school yet? Secret Harbour and Waikiki was one area I have looked at (virtually)loved the proximity to the beach but wasn't sure about the schools which is one of the most important factors for us mums isn't it. I do like coffee, morning, noon or night but occasionally like a glass of wine or two - shiraz maybe....................... Hi , yes we are on skype most weekends. Thank goodness for the time difference, or else I would'nt have a life here..My daughter and her partner are visiting xmas, but then I keep thinking 'what about when she has to go home' but hopefully by then I would have settled a bit more. I am hoping its just pre wedding jitters, so to speak. We are in Mandurah, about 20mins away from secret harbour I think.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cassy Posted March 8, 2012 Report Share Posted March 8, 2012 Also Pathfinder, my friend lives around the corner from us and we hardly see each other. (she has lived here 5 years, when we visited her 4yrs ago we fell in love with the place) I think my expectations were too high as to what we would do together socially. She has'nt got any young kids, and to be honest dont think she wants mine around her lol. She does ask us out with them when they are going to other peoples places, and we have gone a couple of times... but I dont want my daughter in an all Adult situation whenever we do go out.. none of them have got young children, and I feel uncomfortable taking mine along.. got no one to look after her so she goes with us.. A disadvantage of being an older mum I suppose.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Give me a break! Posted March 8, 2012 Report Share Posted March 8, 2012 Oh I can relate to what many of you have said. There seems to be a few families with gaps on here as well as me. Thought long and hard about starting over again when my youngest son was 15 and eldest 20, and now all of a sudden we have Georgia at 11. (always said to my OH i expected to be cruising for my fortieth not wiping up mess but it was my choice in the end) My boys have long flown the nest. I dont know many mums who have second families, my "older" friends all waited for their first family - hence meeting them at school gates (don't like to refer to them as "older" friends but can't think of a polite word) Cassie, are you in regular touch with your family back home and what school does your daughter go to in Secret harbour? I guess she hasn't gone into senior school yet? Secret Harbour and Waikiki was one area I have looked at (virtually)loved the proximity to the beach but wasn't sure about the schools which is one of the most important factors for us mums isn't it. I do like coffee, morning, noon or night but occasionally like a glass of wine or two - shiraz maybe....................... Ive just moved from Secret Harbour, my son still attends Comet Bay Primary. We now live in Lakelands, North Mandurah. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mojomanc Posted March 8, 2012 Report Share Posted March 8, 2012 Wow, you girls are an inspiration! I'm 41 and not even got round to the kids thing yet. Myself and OH left the UK in 2001 and we've been in the Sates, Malaysia and now here in sunny Perth. You all sound like such fun and despite being without wee ones I'd love to maybe meet and socialize if I qualify by just being older? ;-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weedolly Posted March 8, 2012 Report Share Posted March 8, 2012 Emm - think we will need to put it to the vote! Just kidding, would be good if everyone stayed in touch. My OH is over in Perth just now working. Hopefully in a few months me and the wee one will be there too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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