Aww bless you hun, does you good to get it off your chest to strangers. We are about to head over 3 weeks on Friday and that's the part I dread most, not being there if something bad happens to support my family. You're doing the right thing by giving it time and just keep reminding yourself why you're doing this. These feelings will pass. I had the wobbles a few years ago when I was in Aus previously, especially at xmas so I know this feeling will pass. Hugs xx