Sideshowdeb Posted January 28, 2014 Report Share Posted January 28, 2014 I'm probably worrying unnecessarily, but I've been thinking a lot about what I can do to help my kids settle in once we move. My daughter isn't going to be a problem (hopefully) because I can take her anywhere and she'll make a friend. Also she's young enough (6 yrs old) for me to help that along by taking her to join clubs and classes and inviting new school friends for tea etc. My son, however is 15 and far too old for Mum or Dad to intervene with things like that. He says he isn't worried because he'll just make friends at school so I shouldn't fuss, but is it really that easy when you're 15? It's so long ago I can't remember even being his age, but I suspect I would have been terrified of leaving my friends. We've crossed some quieter places off our list of prospective areas to give him more chance of finding a good social life and possibly a part time job when he's a bit older. Other than that I'm a bit stuck what to do from here! I'd love to know what other parents have done that's helped their kids settle more quickly or with hindsight, what they would have done? I can't wait to move and finally stop obsessing over everything Perth related. I think I used to be quite laid back about life? :smile2: Thanks in advance, Deb x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted January 28, 2014 Report Share Posted January 28, 2014 I think for teens its more difficult as they're entering an environment were there are more established friendship groups particularly at school. Whilst my daughter was 11 when we arrived, one thing that helped her (and may help your eldest) was a 'pen pal' from the school she was going to who she emailed, they spoke about the new school, teachers, she was introduced to other people via face book and felt as if she knew some people before she arrived. If you know which school he might be attending, why not write to the principle, tell them what your boys interests are and ask if they think there'll be someone whose interested in helping break the ice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sideshowdeb Posted January 28, 2014 Author Report Share Posted January 28, 2014 Unfortunately we've only managed to narrow it down to 3 areas so our chances of choosing a school are pretty slim at the moment. He's really into rugby though and the only thing he has shown any interest in is choosing a rugby team to try out for. I might suggest he looks to see if they've got Facebook pages so he could start making contact with people there instead. Thanks x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verystormy Posted January 29, 2014 Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 If he likes sport, then get him involved in things. The surf rescue are great - they get loads of coaching and have a great social side Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lozzachino Posted January 29, 2014 Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 Maybe if you can, try pick a school based on its rugby program? Schools tend to focus on particular sports here so if you can find one that does rugby that might help him make friends at school as well? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lozzachino Posted January 29, 2014 Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 Ps where is gloucester are you? We lived in cheltenham gloucester and the forest before moving here! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laine Posted January 29, 2014 Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 Hi Deb, we have a similar problem as our youngest son is also 15. Verystormy has given some good advise though, lads get involved through sport...me hopes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sideshowdeb Posted January 29, 2014 Author Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 Ps where is gloucester are you? We lived in cheltenham gloucester and the forest before moving here! Funny you should say that because whenever I've showed him schools I like the look of, that's been the only thing he's asked about. We're in Quedgeley at the moment, but not for much longer :smile2: Is there anything in particular about life in the Shire that you miss? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sideshowdeb Posted January 29, 2014 Author Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 If he likes sport, then get him involved in things. The surf rescue are great - they get loads of coaching and have a great social side My daughter is really keen on that. She's been working hard at her swimming lessons and is determined to join the Nippers as soon as she can. I know he's too old for that but I guess there's something similar for older teens? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackboots Posted January 29, 2014 Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 My daughter plays water polo , great fun and a good way to make friends I cant answer re a 15 year old but maybe it would be something to try as well . My daughter is in a younger class she is 7 . School helps plenty of play dates at the parks etc . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lozzachino Posted January 30, 2014 Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 ha Deb, we lived in Quedgeley and still rent our house out there! You could go check on it for me could you?! haha, how random! don't miss anything really, especially not the weather and floods and snow! pm me and we can keep in touch when you get here if you like Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sideshowdeb Posted January 30, 2014 Author Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 ha Deb, we lived in Quedgeley and still rent our house out there! You could go check on it for me could you?! haha, how random! don't miss anything really, especially not the weather and floods and snow! pm me and we can keep in touch when you get here if you like Haha, I think everyone ends up in Quedgeley at some point. We've got floods again, but Somerset has been hit the hardest this time. How have you found it renting out your house? We've got a property in Quedgeley that's on the market at the moment. We had tenants in but when the last guy left we thought we'd take the chance to get rid of it because our experience with letting agents locally has been so bad we didn't think we'd find anyone we were happy with to manage it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Posted February 5, 2014 Report Share Posted February 5, 2014 Hi Deb There really isn't a lot you can do to help a 15 year old settle, it has to come from them, he will be ok if he is good at socialising and outgoing, however, if he's not he may struggle. We brought a 14 year old over a term ago and he is really struggling here even though he's in the cricket academy at school and will be joining a soccer team, his friends are new friends and until he feels comfortable with them which takes a while I feel he won't settle here, but he is not particularly outgoing. My 11 year old settled after the first week here and loves it, he has heaps of friends, but the difficulty is when they hit their teens. If I'd known then what I know now I wouldn't have moved from New Zealand, and left the kids to finish their schooling there. All the best with the move. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sideshowdeb Posted February 5, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 5, 2014 Hi Deb There really isn't a lot you can do to help a 15 year old settle, it has to come from them, he will be ok if he is good at socialising and outgoing, however, if he's not he may struggle. We brought a 14 year old over a term ago and he is really struggling here even though he's in the cricket academy at school and will be joining a soccer team, his friends are new friends and until he feels comfortable with them which takes a while I feel he won't settle here, but he is not particularly outgoing. My 11 year old settled after the first week here and loves it, he has heaps of friends, but the difficulty is when they hit their teens. If I'd known then what I know now I wouldn't have moved from New Zealand, and left the kids to finish their schooling there. All the best with the move. Hi Julie, Thanks for your post, it is sort of what I expected would be the case. He's worrying me a bit because he seems totally disinterested in the move at the moment. I know 6 months is a long way off for a 15 year old, but I'm not sure that's all there is to it? I'm all ready to go with details of clubs and classes of things he's said he's into, which are all sport related so I know he'll be meeting people, but I guess what he makes of it from there is up to him. I hope things work out for your soon too, Deb x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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