JenPen Posted February 24, 2014 Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 Well today is a very very difficult day for me......I'm sat here finishing off getting ready with my girl at my feet....my heart is breaking. Today is stage one of moving out of our home, our beloved Dog is going to her new home today, a wonderful family thank god, that we have some connections with. BUT it's breaking my heart, I wish she could come with us, but I know it won't work for her and she's better off and it's logistically quite impossible to keep her. I'm starting to wonder if this "dream" is worth it all or not *sigh* definitely my first wobble.... I can't stop crying!!! So how early did your wobbles start? I'm wondering if I'm a wreck now how will I leave my friends and family? Although finding comfort in knowing I'd see them again and can skype them....poochie will be gone forever and apart from odd photo and email I'll never see her again....Mr JP doesn't seem to care too much unless he's just being manly.... But she's our first baby and it's killing me and making my parents and brother cry too and it's all because I'm not happy with what I've got? I feel selfish... *sigh* sorry for the miserable Monday morning post xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SJT Posted February 24, 2014 Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 You don't need to apologise at all. I remember only too well the day we parted with our four legged family members, they were brother and sister cats. Felix was my cat and followed me everywhere, he slept every single night on my pillow and he knew that morning something was up, I took the kids out and left hubby to hand over our pets. I still cry to this day about leaving them behind and my son has never forgiven us either. BUT, and it was the BUT that made them stay back in the UK, the girl cat might not have survived the ordeal and that was our vets advice. She was very very timid and the stress of everything they had to go through did not warrant bringing them. It is so worth it in the end though. It brings everything to a head emotionally and your right in thinking if this is how I feel with an animal how on earth do you say goodbye to family and friends, but you do, it is very very painful to do, but you just get through it and come out the other end (men don't get it, us girls seem to wear our hearts on our sleeves). You are not being selfish you are living your life and you are following a dream. Honestly it really does work out in the end, with a very emotional roller coaster in between, but once you have settled here it really does make it all worth it. I know at the moment it does not help you, but we are looking at getting a dog and two kittens once we buy our own home and hopefully as they will be born and breed here, they might cope a bit better in the weather, so you never know in a year or two you too could be looking at getting a new family member. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akasully2 Posted February 24, 2014 Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 Jenpen, I feel for you. I too am getting ready this morning feeling a bit wobbly. I gave my cat a cuddle this morning and thought how in a few weeks I will be signing him over to a new family and that breaks my heart. I know he will be loved and will probably forget us but it doesn't help us. My OH is manly too and doesn't seem to feel the anguish. I just said goodbye to my son at the door and he said it was only 1/2 term and a bit until we leave. I shuddered! I don't want to seem ungrateful for this amazing opportunity because if I couldn't do it I would be tying myself up in knots of frustration and disappointment. However, feeling anxious about giving up everything for something so uncertain is normal. We only have the success stories we read on here from others, we can only hope we are lucky enough to be like them. If it gets too bad once there we can always come back. It is not necessarily for ever and it isn't a one way door. Try to relax and think about what you could be gaining. Hope you feel better later. X Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Posted February 24, 2014 Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 If this is how you feel now and you are very close to your family, I'm sorry to say that you will find the move incredibly difficult. Once you get used to your 'new country' and the novalty wears off, its just another country but without your family around you so think very carefully before you make the move, people get carried away by the exitement the move entails but things soon settle down and you then wonder if you've done the right thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenPen Posted February 24, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 Thanks guys your kind words of support and experience have helped me a little this morning ok a lot and also made me cry hahaha! But our Doggy wouldn't make the trip that's why we have left her behind amongst other reasons which most of you will already know.... My Father is handing her over I feel it's too painful for me to do so... Working today so off now to help mothers adapt to their new lives...this should help also..... I might try and pop back and see her off but not sure if this will be worse for me to see her leaver or not. Thanks for your input Julie I never thought this would be easy and I've done it before moved to the other side of England and knew no one so I know I can start a life again successfully. I am not moving for a new country or to escape what's here for novelty and I am not naive at all it's been a decision made 12 yrs ago. I have some family in Perth and my parents will be out for 3 months every yr or so as and when they can. I know it will be difficult but I'm doing this for my children and so we can settle our background especially my OH is geared towards Aus and many reasons for this...but thank you for advice - I can always come back if I can't hack it Let's get on with this rubbish day then....! Gah! Happy Monday wishes everyone you're all fab as always and big hugs to SJT and Akasully2 for lifting me up with some positivity on such a difficult day it helps to know we are all going through this together xxxxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SJT Posted February 24, 2014 Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 Big hugs back Jenpen, don't go back and say goodbye, honestly stay out of the way, it really will not make you feel any better, if you are anything like me, you will be on you knees on the floor howling your eyes out and that is not going to help anyone. So try to keep busy today and keep a tissue to hand all day, then tonight a very large glass of wine and let the tears flow. Then tomorrow is a new day and you can sort of move on, be prepared for the tears and the pain all week, then honestly it will start to get better. Aksasully2, I never realised until last night how quick this year has gone by and it is nearly time for you to be here. So no wonder you are having the emotions at the moment, but you are sooooo nearly here. And Jenpen that is what is good about this site, we have either been there, doing it or just about to take the first steps. So someone somewhere will have gone through the same emotions and traumas as you and can hopefully help you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Osmond8 Posted February 24, 2014 Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 Happy happy Monday people we've only been here 6 weeks and the only thing i miss so far is my cat ...... My family haven't given me a chance to miss them yet as they facetime me or skype me most days!... So we left Tallulah with my mum... It was horrific!!!! Before we went, I went to Tesco and bought her enough food, litter, treats, worming tablets etc etc to last her a lifetime! This helped me to feel like i was still providing for her even though we were'nt there!.... Like SJT said, somehow you do just get through it..... We started renting our own place here two weeks ago, once we had settled this is when i began to miss Tallulah, as she was no longer a huge part of our family unit.... She too would sleep on our pillows at night! I found myself in the supermarket at the weekend thinking, i wonder if she needs a collar?.... Maybe i could send her a collar?!!!!!! My mum skyped me yesterday and for the first time i got to see my baby... Apparently she has settled really well and is very happy... So now i can relax!!!!! JenPen.... In my honest opinion, it has all been worth the tears and heartbreak so hang in there?.. It's not a nice thing to go through or put your family through but just remained focussed......keep your eyes on the prize! Amy xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aligard Posted February 24, 2014 Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 Big hug Jenpen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenPen Posted February 24, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 Just quickly....I've decided to stay at work and go to breastfeeding group! Help others if they need me and distract my emotions....they will be arriving in 18mins I feel sick xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Osmond8 Posted February 24, 2014 Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 Mind over matter honey, you can do this :-D xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daveakaginge Posted February 24, 2014 Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 Well today is a very very difficult day for me......I'm sat here finishing off getting ready with my girl at my feet....my heart is breaking. Today is stage one of moving out of our home, our beloved Dog is going to her new home today, a wonderful family thank god, that we have some connections with. BUT it's breaking my heart, I wish she could come with us, but I know it won't work for her and she's better off and it's logistically quite impossible to keep her. I'm starting to wonder if this "dream" is worth it all or not *sigh* definitely my first wobble.... I can't stop crying!!! So how early did your wobbles start? I'm wondering if I'm a wreck now how will I leave my friends and family? Although finding comfort in knowing I'd see them again and can skype them....poochie will be gone forever and apart from odd photo and email I'll never see her again....Mr JP doesn't seem to care too much unless he's just being manly.... But she's our first baby and it's killing me and making my parents and brother cry too and it's all because I'm not happy with what I've got? I feel selfish... *sigh* sorry for the miserable Monday morning post xxx Because it is fantastic out here........ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beandownunder Posted February 24, 2014 Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 hugs JP xxxxxx sorry too tired to write anymore at mo.....27hr shift eek!! xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akasully2 Posted February 24, 2014 Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 Big hugs back to all the 'sisters' out there! SJT summed it up nicely by saying that whilst you may be an anomaly in your own life, on here you amongst those doing / done exactly the same thing and all understand the ups and downs of it. That is why it is so supportive and addictive. As for animals, well my nephew who is having our cat said we could have him back once we settled or returned to the UK. He said by that time he would have become attached to him but he understood the bond between owners and their pets. How kind is that??? I keep banging I about getting a dog in Oz and keeping my OH to a bargain he made ages ago. He said that if we ever made it over I could have a dog. I think it was part of the sweetener when I was having a wobble earlier on! (I have a long memory!). Anyway, yesterday my OH came back from visiting a friend, he was helping him erect a new fence as the last one blew down in the storms. He said that they had a boxer dog that was cute and well behaved but had totally destroyed the garden. No lawn, crap everywhere. He said was constantly licking him and woofing. He asked me if I had thought this through....new house in Oz and poo all over the lawn. No bare feet wondering around. I must admit it sounded rather off putting. So, to those of you at are experienced dog owns, is this what I should expect? If not, how do you over come all that he mentioned? Are they 'worth it'? I really should have put is on my usual enormous thread, but hey ho, here it is instead! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nikkiwd Posted February 24, 2014 Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 I can imagine it must be so hard JenPen but the dog will be well cared for and loved i'm sure. It must be pretty traumatic on pets that get 'shipped' to the other side of the world. we only have 3 fish so not much emotion attached to them but will still have to find a new home for them. My daughter was coming up with ideas to bring them with us, not understanding that you just can't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenPen Posted February 24, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 So my girl has gone, I am home alone, Dad is bringing the children home in half hour, I finished early….the house is empty there is a contract left on the table signed by them, promising to take care of her and they have said they will look after her and really love her. They also said I can see her in 3 wks when they come back down….not sure if that will make it harder, but they are really very lovely people and I know she is in the best place long term it just sucks big time. My friend at work who understands relationships with Dogs just said in the end I have to remember that she is "just a dog" at the end of the day and no matter how wonderful your bond, they will always make a bond with their new owners, being treated well, which she will. They are fickle and as long as loved, fed and walked she will be happy - she will also have a friend which I know she will love since she misses our boy since we had him put to sleep So I will cry….I have no wine and pretty skint - but I might be able to pull some together just for tonight….sod the 500 cal day haha! I just wanted to thank each and every one of you for your support, shoulder, virtual hug and advice and for sharing your experiences to support me through my own. You are right, no one knows how we feel or what we are going through but others going through it. Everyone is upset with us moving (those that know) and so they can't support me properly in this decision as they're all finding it tough and also seeing or speaking to them just evokes feelings that I know will arise once we have the date. But I am still very excited to get that date!! So thank you, as always my wonderful PP friends you have been there for me! THANK YOU! Akasully2 - re: getting a dog and keeping poo to a minimum! I just walked our dog/s twice a day and they generally did their business on the walk and then it is picked up and put in the bin. However, if I caught them doing it in the garden I would just clean up as I go. You have to just do what you do in your home, clean and tidy as you go along. It just becomes habitual and you won't think of it much. They don't tend to poo 4+ times a day and pals gardens covered in poo don't care for their dogs or gardens properly…the dog probably (I can't spk or judge as I don't know so just my opinion) was bored/not walked enough if it had trashed the garden! What type of dog do you wish to get eventually? Bigger dogs need more exercise but smaller ones can do just one walk a day…..go for it, especially in Perth as I am sure you will do lots of walking! Thanks again everyone!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akasully2 Posted February 24, 2014 Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 Thanks for the doggy tips Jenpen. I am thinking of a chocolate brown australian Labradoodle. I have been doing so much research on different breeds to make sure we could cope with their needs. Whilst I would enjoy walking one daily, I wouldn't want to have to be at it for hours at a time because it had enormous amounts of energy. I really liked the pointer dogs and weinerama (can't spell it) but it says they needs masses of walks. This would be my first dog apart from having them as a child. As as for you tonight, please don't find a half open bottle of gin at the back of the cupboard and decide to drown your sorrows. I always found gin to make me very emotional and weepy! Watch telly or even better research images of Perth on the web. Bound to cheer you up. X Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenPen Posted February 24, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 Ooooh sounds lovely - I might spend some time googling them haha! Yes your idea and plans sound good - don't go too mad if you are not keen to do lots of walking! I will stick to wine - not gin thanks xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lou8670 Posted February 24, 2014 Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 Sending hugs! We only have our hamster to leave behind but I'm sure when the time comes my kids are going to be very upset....6 weeks and 6 days to go! I can't imagine what it must feel like Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SusanFrako Posted February 24, 2014 Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 Hugs Jen, hope you feel better. It will all be worth it in the end. We don't have any pets but totally understand what your saying with the unsupportive family/friends. It makes everything much harder, ours never even mention aus even though we leave in 11 weeks susan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SusanFrako Posted February 24, 2014 Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 Lou can't believe you leave in 6 weeks! We arrive a couple days after you, nearly had heart failure when you wrote 6 weeks ha! Better get clearing out the cupboards! Sending hugs! We only have our hamster to leave behind but I'm sure when the time comes my kids are going to be very upset....6 weeks and 6 days to go! I can't imagine what it must feel like Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenPen Posted February 24, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 Thanks Susan!! Your move is coming around so quickly, it is bizarre how people react - I really don't get it!! Right - my time to apologise will reply to your message now!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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