linda@no9 Posted February 26, 2014 Report Share Posted February 26, 2014 Ive been thinking a lot about this recently. I like to post my insights to Perth and what I think of the place as an alien city now regarded as home. Leaving on a jet plane My last days in UK were fraught. To be expected. Leaving the only place id known as home, up rooting my family and joining a nation of nomads, each person arriving with a suitcase of personal possessions and being dumped in an unfamiliar place surrounded by unfamiliar people. Scary doesn't quite describe it. The first few weeks are a bit manic, blimey, the first step off the plane was manic. Dumped in Perth airport without a clue as to where I was going. Of course, it did have its buzz of excitement. Sorting somewhere to live if you haven't already done that, organizing transport, medicare, where is this, where do I find that. What the bl00dy hell have I done?? So, the sun shines, the beach is a short drive, the people seem friendly and the highs kick in. I was seduced by the wonderful place, new, exciting, fresh start. But beware of the lows. As a stay at home mum who left her very successful business to start again, it was fine for the hubs and kids. School and work was their routine and slotted quick quickly and happily back into that said routine. But me? As soon as they had been dropped to school, I was left..alone. Could get in the car and drive to the shops, but could I remember where the shops were? I could watch TV, but there was nothing familiar. So not long after, the lows kick in and boy were they low. Culture shock "The personal disorientation a person may feel when experiencing an unfamiliar way of life due to immigration or a visit to a new country, a move between social environments, or simply travel to another type of life"- believe me, this is very real. I hated the place, the people, their ignorance on the roads, a huge information overload for me. My brain could not compute with the massive change I had made to my life. I began comparing what I knew to what I didnt know, better the devil so they say. So, that ended with a trip to the MD. Im not ashamed to say it. I wasn't coping. I wasn't coping with having no routine, no money and even with the arrival of the furniture, it seemed strange to see it sat in a new place. Acceptance and adjustment I cant tell you when that finally happened, but it did. When the family were all together on a weekend we explored together. I started the business again which gave me back the familiar routine. I got excited about trips to the supermarket (sad but true) taking an hour with my husband to enjoy a coffee and a chat overlooking the ocean and suddenly I was enjoying this new, laid back lifestyle. Enjoying my family even more. Our husbands need to understand and appreciate that while we are supporting their new job and lifestyle, there isnt anyone there to support the one we no longer had. I think it takes longer for us women to adjust than men. Going back to the uk for the first time Hated it! Reversse culture shock?? I couldn't wait to get back on that plane home and for me, that was when I knew we'd made the best decision of our lives. I hated the rain, the feeling of suffocation, lack of space and depressing news! Ive no idea what it is about Oz but they can even make the news sound cheerful here! 18 months in? Still the best thing ive done. Im lucky that I have no immediate ties to the uk so for me it was a fresh start, but it took a while to accept that change. My best advise? Go with it. If you feel fab one day, brilliant. If you feel low the next day and the next just know it will pass. You have to ask yourselves what brought you to Australia? 18 months in and I can now say im living the dream because I now understand what my dream was. Hi de hi campers xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamesw Posted February 26, 2014 Report Share Posted February 26, 2014 Going back to the uk for the first time Hated it! Reversse culture shock?? I couldn't wait to get back on that plane home and for me, that was when I knew we'd made the best decision of our lives. I hated the rain, the feeling of suffocation, lack of space and depressing news! Ive no idea what it is about Oz but they can even make the news sound cheerful here!Exactly how I feel like when I have been back to the UK! :smile2: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scot01 Posted February 26, 2014 Report Share Posted February 26, 2014 What an absolutely fantastic piece of writing, so insightful and this will be a huge help to others who experience culture shock. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walkabout Posted February 26, 2014 Report Share Posted February 26, 2014 Thank you! there are many things that I can relate to already (sat at home with the kids at school and hubby at work for a start!) great to hear that you have finally found yourself and settled in a happy place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ROB T Posted February 26, 2014 Report Share Posted February 26, 2014 Yes very well written Linda and a fair and reasonable insight into what forthcoming new arrivals can expect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SJT Posted February 26, 2014 Report Share Posted February 26, 2014 Linda and Weston Clan, that is exactly what I am going through at the moment. After seven months of having hubby home, then in Nov the in laws arrived for three months, last Tuesday for the first time in 7 months I was on my own. Hubby had a new job, scary but also exciting, kids all settled at their new schools with their new mates, and then there is me in this huge empty house all my own. I had no idea why the tears kept falling, but they would not stop. I suppose reality kicks in, for the first few months you live in a dream world, trying out new places, exploring, finding long term rental, you get caught up in it all. I have no plans on ever going back to the UK, other than a very small handful of family members there is nothing there that appeals to me at all, but I am feeling very very unsettled at the moment. Can't put my finger on it, but it does not take a lot to start the tears. I'm very fortunate that I do have a few good friends here and they have helped me a lot. I'm not worried though I know this is just a blip, and in a few weeks everything will be good again, it is just nice to know others feel the same and they do get through it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linda@no9 Posted February 26, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 26, 2014 Yes. Took me ages to find my feet. You will get there xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
82rhoads Posted February 26, 2014 Report Share Posted February 26, 2014 Hi SJT, sorry to hear you're having a bit of a tough time. We've been over 7 months as well and live near you in doubleview. I remember a few posts from when you came over....sound like a stalker... but I've got a good memory! We've got a couple of girls 7 and 11 , if you want a get together PM me and we can sort something. We're getting into the way of life here now the dust has settled. The mrs and I love the area and the rental prices seem to be coming down a bit which means we can stay in it :-) Cheers Darren Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nollie Posted March 30, 2014 Report Share Posted March 30, 2014 another one to print and put in my .... what to expect folder..... loving this site so much good information, hope all is still going well xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cocolevi Posted March 30, 2014 Report Share Posted March 30, 2014 Linda@no9 it's good to know that your now settled and enjoying it x SJT sending ((hugs)) you'll get there soon x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akasully2 Posted March 30, 2014 Report Share Posted March 30, 2014 Fab post, how did I miss when bit was first made? So pleased it has worked out for you and that could also share with us, your highs and lows. It really does make me feel better about what to expect and how to deal with it. What was/is your type of business? How different was it to set up in Oz compared to the UK? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sideshowdeb Posted March 30, 2014 Report Share Posted March 30, 2014 Thank you for this post. I'm glad it's all worked out for you and our family Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lou8670 Posted March 30, 2014 Report Share Posted March 30, 2014 I don't know how I missed this post either. Really helpful update on your first 18 months in Oz. I know where you're coming from too as I have just spent my first month at home after always having worked full time. After the school run it's "what now?". I'm trying desperately to get into a routine and find going for a run straight after dropping the kids has helped. SJT - how could have missed this? I hope you're now getting into a routine! A bit of aqua aerobics perhaps ? I always love your positive attitude though x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leah2408 Posted April 2, 2014 Report Share Posted April 2, 2014 Great post!! I really enjoyed reading it! you were so honest. All the best to you and your family Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deb Posted June 23, 2014 Report Share Posted June 23, 2014 Ive been thinking a lot about this recently. I like to post my insights to Perth and what I think of the place as an alien city now regarded as home. Leaving on a jet plane My last days in UK were fraught. To be expected. Leaving the only place id known as home, up rooting my family and joining a nation of nomads, each person arriving with a suitcase of personal possessions and being dumped in an unfamiliar place surrounded by unfamiliar people. Scary doesn't quite describe it. The first few weeks are a bit manic, blimey, the first step off the plane was manic. Dumped in Perth airport without a clue as to where I was going. Of course, it did have its buzz of excitement. Sorting somewhere to live if you haven't already done that, organizing transport, medicare, where is this, where do I find that. What the bl00dy hell have I done?? So, the sun shines, the beach is a short drive, the people seem friendly and the highs kick in. I was seduced by the wonderful place, new, exciting, fresh start. But beware of the lows. As a stay at home mum who left her very successful business to start again, it was fine for the hubs and kids. School and work was their routine and slotted quick quickly and happily back into that said routine. But me? As soon as they had been dropped to school, I was left..alone. Could get in the car and drive to the shops, but could I remember where the shops were? I could watch TV, but there was nothing familiar. So not long after, the lows kick in and boy were they low. Culture shock "The personal disorientation a person may feel when experiencing an unfamiliar way of life due to immigration or a visit to a new country, a move between social environments, or simply travel to another type of life"- believe me, this is very real. I hated the place, the people, their ignorance on the roads, a huge information overload for me. My brain could not compute with the massive change I had made to my life. I began comparing what I knew to what I didnt know, better the devil so they say. So, that ended with a trip to the MD. Im not ashamed to say it. I wasn't coping. I wasn't coping with having no routine, no money and even with the arrival of the furniture, it seemed strange to see it sat in a new place. Acceptance and adjustment I cant tell you when that finally happened, but it did. When the family were all together on a weekend we explored together. I started the business again which gave me back the familiar routine. I got excited about trips to the supermarket (sad but true) taking an hour with my husband to enjoy a coffee and a chat overlooking the ocean and suddenly I was enjoying this new, laid back lifestyle. Enjoying my family even more. Our husbands need to understand and appreciate that while we are supporting their new job and lifestyle, there isnt anyone there to support the one we no longer had. I think it takes longer for us women to adjust than men. Going back to the uk for the first time Hated it! Reversse culture shock?? I couldn't wait to get back on that plane home and for me, that was when I knew we'd made the best decision of our lives. I hated the rain, the feeling of suffocation, lack of space and depressing news! Ive no idea what it is about Oz but they can even make the news sound cheerful here! 18 months in? Still the best thing ive done. Im lucky that I have no immediate ties to the uk so for me it was a fresh start, but it took a while to accept that change. My best advise? Go with it. If you feel fab one day, brilliant. If you feel low the next day and the next just know it will pass. You have to ask yourselves what brought you to Australia? 18 months in and I can now say im living the dream because I now understand what my dream was. Hi de hi campers xx Hi just come across your post. We been here nearly 9 weeks and reading your post I can relate to a lot of it.One minute I am ok the next I can not stop the tears. People have said dont go back to vist before 2 years I know I can not wait that long to give my grandkids and kids a hug. Glad all worked out and I hope I am as happy as you in 18months Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cocolevi Posted June 23, 2014 Report Share Posted June 23, 2014 The thing I'm dreading the most is being on my own once OH is out at work and girls are ar school, I'm quite a shy person so making new friends is not easy for me but reading your post and lots of other posts on hear does fill me with hope you all go through it and come out the other side smiling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cocolevi Posted June 23, 2014 Report Share Posted June 23, 2014 (edited) My post came up twice and I couldn't delete it Edited June 23, 2014 by cocolevi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sideshowdeb Posted June 23, 2014 Report Share Posted June 23, 2014 (edited) The thing I'm dreading the most is being on my own once OH is out at work and girls are ar school, I'm quite a shy person so making new friends is not easy for me but reading your post and lots of other posts on hear does fill me with hope you all go through it and come out the other side smiling. I know what you mean, I wouldn't really know what to do with myself during the day without any friends and I wouldn't know how to go about starting to make friends without meeting people at work? It's a bit of a catch 22... Edited June 23, 2014 by Sideshowdeb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SJT Posted June 23, 2014 Report Share Posted June 23, 2014 Cocolevi and Sideshowdeb It takes a while, but I have found making friends a lot more easier here then I did back in the UK. I have found people in Perth very very friendly, and as a lot have been in the position of just arriving and feeling like a fish out of water themselves do like to help out. It has taken me a while to get to know some of the school mums, my kids are of an age where you just drop them off and only a few parents pick theirs up, but I now have a friendly bunch from school and we have started doing quiz nights and other nights out together which has been fun. I've met a few ladies from off here, as you start to chat and send PM messages and you sort of know if you will get on and I have been very lucky that the ones I have met up with have been very friendly and do not have two heads!!! a couple are going to be good friends for a very long time. There are also lots of Facebook groups geared up for meeting people, it takes a while to get into the routine of turning up at a cafe, not knowing who the person you are meeting looks like, but it does work. There are always group coffee meetings where you just turn up and start to chat, some people you will like, other not so much so. I would never of gone to a cafe to meet some people that I never knew back in the UK, but I have found a really fantastic group of women that we now meet every Friday and I laugh so much every week and luckily all our kids get on so we meet up as families as well. The only difference is you don't have the history, but all the same I have some very close friends here now and to be honest I would have struggled more over the last 11 months if I had not met them as they have all been in the same boat as me and have know what words needed to be said to help me through it. I have also started working at the school voluntarily I now help two afternoons a week in the classroom, as in my daughter's school they do not have any classroom assistants, so it gets me out of the house (there is only so much housework a girl can do), I now know all Emily's classmates, and the teachers have been very welcoming. Honestly making friends does come so that is one side of moving I would not worry too much about, it may take a little while, but there is always someone either on here, or another group that will meet for a coffee and a chat. This morning I'm meeting a new friend who I have made on here, I just hope I recognize her when I get there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sideshowdeb Posted June 23, 2014 Report Share Posted June 23, 2014 That's good to know. I'm looking forward to meeting new people and making friends but I did wonder how that would happen if I didn't have a job as a starting point. Working in a large hospital when you move to a new area makes that so much easier because you meet so many people. I guess I've never given much thought to how I would go about it otherwise. Thank goodness for the Internet and PP :-D Hope you guys have a lovely morning x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cocolevi Posted June 24, 2014 Report Share Posted June 24, 2014 Thanks SJT like Deb said work does help and thank goodness for the internet I hope you both have a great time, did you not both wear red coronations lol xx:cute: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SJT Posted June 24, 2014 Report Share Posted June 24, 2014 Thanks SJT like Deb said work does help and thank goodness for the internet I hope you both have a great time, did you not both wear red coronations lol xx:cute: We had a lovely time and luckily recognised each other straight away, we have been friends for ages, but just never met in person. To be honest I could have stayed all day, but chores dictated otherwise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akasully2 Posted June 25, 2014 Report Share Posted June 25, 2014 Me too, I could quite happily stayed there chatting until the sun went down. I wasn't until I got home did I realise I was hungry! It was lovely to meet the person I have been emailing for over a year. In that time we have got to know each other really well. We joked about whether we would recognise each other and whether we would like each other. But as I said, after all is time we must have got a pretty good idea of who the other was. Spot on. It was like meeting an old friend who I had known for ages! Looking forward to meeting up again on Sunday at the pirate ship place and putting faces to a few more people too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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