katiecuts Posted March 24, 2013 Report Share Posted March 24, 2013 Hi, I moved her in October 2012 with my husband and 2 children and they all love it here but I can't settle and don't even know why. I can see that this is a beautiful place to live but wake every morning in an absolute panic and sick feeling. We have made loads of really lovely friends. Has this happened to anyone else or is it just me or has anybody had the opposite where you came here and settled well and after a while of living here became unsettled? It's really confusing how I feel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Brownsx5 Posted March 24, 2013 Report Share Posted March 24, 2013 Just give yourself time, it's still all new. Hope you start feeling better soon :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted March 24, 2013 Report Share Posted March 24, 2013 You probably need a bit of time to think abou what it is that's making you wake up with the panic feeling and go from there, until you can identify what it is that's making you feel unsettled. 5 months if a relatively short time in the migration process, I remember about 10 months in thinking that I hadn't really had time to stop and enjoy myself, we seemed to be doing new things all the time. Hope you're soon feeling better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest9824 Posted March 24, 2013 Report Share Posted March 24, 2013 Hi, I moved her in October 2012 with my husband and 2 children and they all love it here but I can't settle and don't even know why. I can see that this is a beautiful place to live but wake every morning in an absolute panic and sick feeling. We have made loads of really lovely friends. Has this happened to anyone else or is it just me or has anybody had the opposite where you came here and settled well and after a while of living here became unsettled? It's really confusing how I feel. Hey Katiecuts, I felt the same way for a while when we got here, I went to speak to the doctor, just to get an unbiased opinion on things, and she said, emigrating is right up there with all the huge life stresses, so it's no wonder some of us feel overwhelmed. You are definately not on your own. Can I suggest you do talk to someone, even if its to get it all off your chest. It's a huge ask to expect to pick up a new life here where you left off in the Uk. Established friends and safety net of family is not here for most, but i guess thats the time you dig deep and our own little unit of family becomes even more stronger than before. It will get better, and you WILL feel better. Trust me. Take care. pea x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad Cow Posted March 24, 2013 Report Share Posted March 24, 2013 Agree with peanuts, migrating is a huge stressful part of your life! It is worth seeing a counsellor just to talk. The panic you are feeling can be sorted, belive me, I went through it and it helps a lot. Make sure you talk about it to your hubby and friends, that's just as important, good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scot01 Posted March 24, 2013 Report Share Posted March 24, 2013 Google culture shock and you'll find it describes exactly what you are feeling. Hits at the 3-6 month and then you feel better - just stick in there and know what you are feeling is normal and it will pass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corinne14470 Posted March 24, 2013 Report Share Posted March 24, 2013 I've come back to UK ( for many reasons as well as that awful feeling) but may be back - I would recommend getting to a year AT THE VERY LEAST cos what you're feeling may not go away by moving back to where youy were from etc...you're adjusting...give time and try your damnest to not focus on it...just get out, keep meeting new people and appreciate what is there first Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Give me a break! Posted March 25, 2013 Report Share Posted March 25, 2013 It's only 4/5 months. You've moved to the other side if the world , you've lived your whole life (I presume) in the UK it's bound to be a shock. Acknowledge how you feel is normal and try to do the things you can't back in the UK even if its just sitting in the sun for a bit. Good luck and remember to keep talking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SJT Posted March 25, 2013 Report Share Posted March 25, 2013 Hello Katiecuts, I cannot comment exactly on how you are feeling. We don't move out there for another sixteen weeks, but I remember for when I was doing my research that someone said the first 3 months are sort of ok as you feel as if you are on holiday and then anything up to a year is really hard as you start to miss the UK, family, friends and familiar things. I'm sure in eight months time I will be posting the same thing and asking for help, but maybe as suggested, find someone to talk about how you are feeling and I bet you will feel slightly better knowing that nearly everyone has felt the same way as you and the longer you are there hopefully those scary feeling will slowly disappear. Good luck and take care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katiecuts Posted March 25, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 25, 2013 Thank you to all of you for your very kind words of advice and even that has made me feel a bit better just knowing by the sounds of things that I'm not the only one this has happened to and it all makes more sense feeling this way now and hopefully in time it will all seem more normal. Good luck with your move SJT hope all goes well and don't let my colly wobbles put you off most people here love it as soon as they arrive as I'm sure I will eventually. :smile2: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest9824 Posted March 25, 2013 Report Share Posted March 25, 2013 Any time you need a chat.... pea Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sullivan_artex Posted April 20, 2013 Report Share Posted April 20, 2013 Hi, I moved her in October 2012 with my husband and 2 children and they all love it here but I can't settle and don't even know why. I can see that this is a beautiful place to live but wake every morning in an absolute panic and sick feeling. We have made loads of really lovely friends. Has this happened to anyone else or is it just me or has anybody had the opposite where you came here and settled well and after a while of living here became unsettled? It's really confusing how I feel. When me and my family first moved out there my step-mum was exactly the same for ages right up until the point she left my dad and went back to the uk for a bit, but that helped her alot because she realised that the people and things that she was missing was only a flight away and also realising the kind of life she could have in perth compared to what it was like in the UK. the time you have been there aint really enough to know what you are really feeling about the place. Try local groups or clubs, perhaps something that you used to at home ie: bowling teams, tennis, card nights, shopping trips with friends. Give your self the chance to experience the different things that the place has to offer. James. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted April 20, 2013 Report Share Posted April 20, 2013 Just a thought but has anyone been out to see you yet? Whilst my hubby didn't want to go back, until his parents visited he didn't feel totally settled, he'd talk to them on the phone and realise that when he mentioned places they didn't know where he meant or what that looked like ... even improvements to our home. He felt much better once they'd been. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest9824 Posted April 22, 2013 Report Share Posted April 22, 2013 I agree with Ali, it's good to have something like a visit from family to look forward to, focus on, and then the rest of life's curve balls will be easier to handle. Then when family does come, you will be able to show off your new home, city and lifestyle. All the best to you. pea Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest robin Posted April 22, 2013 Report Share Posted April 22, 2013 Moved here in January and feel worse than unsettled. Just on the verge of tears all day, no motivation to go out or do things, no idea where to start with getting work. I guess I'd just like to hear from someone who's decided to go home to see whether it would be right for me/us. I don't want to waste time here if we're ultimately going to end up going home anyway... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StraighttothePoint Posted April 22, 2013 Report Share Posted April 22, 2013 (edited) Moved here in January and feel worse than unsettled. Just on the verge of tears all day, no motivation to go out or do things, no idea where to start with getting work. I guess I'd just like to hear from someone who's decided to go home to see whether it would be right for me/us. I don't want to waste time here if we're ultimately going to end up going home anyway... Sounds like a real case of homesickness so sorry to hear that because it is a rotten feeling. The problem with this site that I find is that are not that many folk who come on here who have returned, a couple now and again, so hopefully somebody can help. It would be good to hear from them more because it would perhaps give the threads / posts some better balanced view points. Not to make it more negative just feedback so people can understand the up's and downs of it all as they prepare, deceide to move. Anyway ask yourself, and sure you have down this, why you came here in the first place? If you can try and focus on those reasons then may be you can work it through. If you cannot over time then do not hesitate, leave. Your wellbeing, and state of mind, is important. Edited April 22, 2013 by StraighttothePoint Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest9824 Posted April 22, 2013 Report Share Posted April 22, 2013 (edited) Sounds like a real case of homesickness so sorry to hear that because it is a rotten feeling. The problem with this site that I find is that are not that many folk who come on here who have returned, a couple now and again, so hopefully somebody can help. It would be good to hear from them more because it would perhaps give the threads / posts some better balanced view points. Not to make it more negative just feedback so people can understand the up's and downs of it all as they prepare, deceide to move. Anyway ask yourself, and sure you have down this, why you came here in the first place? If you can try and focus on those reasons then may be you can work it through. If you cannot over time then do not hesitate, leave. Your wellbeing, and state of mind, is important. Well said STTP, I too feel for you Robin, it's not always the case for everyone to fall in love instantly with Australia, and if you don't feel the love straight away, it doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with you, and it does mean that you should be able to express yourself and talk about how you feel. I akin the feelings to when you become a mum for the first time, it's supposed to be wonderful and you are supposed to fall in love with that new baby instantly, and if you don't, you feel like you will be judged, to be a bad mother, but that love for some mums takes time, adjustment and getting used to a new way of life....sorry if that sounds weird, but that's how I feel about these life changing events. Robin, please don't feel like you are alone, or that you can't feel the way you are, you can feel however you like, and remember to try and look forward rather than back. take care pea Edited April 22, 2013 by guest9824 Wrong wording Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linda@no9 Posted April 22, 2013 Report Share Posted April 22, 2013 (edited) Yep, been here since August 2012 and still wonder how hubs and kids have settled and im still trying to work out what this 'living the dream' is! I read somewhere about location depression? I think the trouble with me is uk was familiar, i spent 48 years of my life there! I have friends here, but dont want to talk to them because i dont want to appear a moaner, so hubs tends to get the flack. No, seriously, we talk a lot as a family over lunch or something, away from the house, to let each other know how we are feeling. My hubs is great, but will be better when he knows im finally ok. Edited April 22, 2013 by linda@no9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rossmoyne Posted April 24, 2013 Report Share Posted April 24, 2013 Katiecuts I do sincerely sympathize with you as I know only too well how you are feeling. For the first year/ 18 months we were in Perth I could have walked back to England at any time - and I was the one who wanted to come! Emigrating is not for the faint hearted and ranks up there on the top of the scale of life stresses with marriage, divorce, selling a house. As I had ticked 3 of the 4 boxes all within a year, I guess I had a treble wammy to deal with, and in retrospect I should have gone to my GP sooner. My GP was brilliant, was also a migrant and a counsellor, and she just listened and chatted to me, and made me realise that it was quite normal to miss your old life.... kind of like grieving after a death. One of the best pieces of advice she gave me was that you have to talk about how you feel and not keep it inside because it festers and your thoughts just go round in a spiral. You just have to work through it. PM me Katie if you wish to chat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katiecuts Posted April 27, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 27, 2013 Hi Linda@no9. Do you feel anymore settled now or still like me and not sure that we are "living the dream" 'cos it sure doesn't feel like it to me. My hubby just thinks that if I find work everything will be ok so that's about as far as our discussions go. I suppose if he and my children love it he can't understand why I don't Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linda@no9 Posted May 1, 2013 Report Share Posted May 1, 2013 Hi Katie. I still have waves, but I did Google Culture Shock and it was comforting to know that it is an actual condition. I dont think i'll ever be living the dream because i still dont know what it is apart of maybe living by the sea? they are getting less and less now that I seem to be finding my feet a bit more, but i think if id moved from Inverness to Lands end id probably feel the same. HTH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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