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Akasully2

Count down to launch date

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Hi everyone, I started posting on PP exactly a year ago and during that time we have been through many challenging phases. At that time we initially applied for the visa and faced the inevitable hurdles that we must all jump over to make it to the end. My other thread which was based on asking questions, reveals all the uncertainties I was facing during our build up to getting the visa and in the earlier stages of the great get away plan.

 

However, I thought I would start a new thread as we have a only 8 days to go until we leave for Perth and I thought it would be a way of keeping a record of the emotional ups and downs we encounter. It may still contain questions, but on the whole it is a record of our experiences at the last stage of actually making the move real.

 

So, for a quick summary to date; we have sold the house, the container has taken everything away and it sailing across the seas somewhere. We are living with my OH parents who have been wonderful, very accommodating and helpful. I have been driving my boys to school everyday for the past two weeks, each day it has taken me 2 hours for the return journey in the morning, that I then have to repeat in the afternoon to pick them up. So potentially four hours each day! As a result, I have taken to filling the middle bit of the day with shopping, docs/ dentist/ optician visits and coffee shops with free wifi. I am beginning to wonder if I will be able to fit all the stuff in I have bought. A must for my shopping list was golf shoes as I had heard that they we're ridiculously expensive in Oz. I tracked down a bargain and bought a pair of Footjoy waterproof leather shoes that were meant to be £89 for just £39. I also got one of those cute skirt/shorts skort things in white. A bargain. I think my MIL thinks I have turned into a shopping queen. Everyday I come back with a bag containing something. I can understand why rich women that don't work go shopping so much, just a way of filling an empty day. This is so out of character for me, usually I am at work.

 

Today was the last of the marathon school runs. Today my boys officially left their excellent schools and had to say goodbye to their close friends and wonderful teachers. I had a lump in my throat driving them there this morning and wondered if there was any point in putting on my make-up as I knew I would end up with panda eyes after not too long. I couldn't hold back the tears but tried to distract myself with jolly chats in the playground about our plans. I left both my sons at different schools, each with a large bag of sweeties to hand out to their friends and a camera to record the day. My youngest also insisted he bring in a bunch of flowers for his teacher as she was lovely and he would miss her. Bless.

 

I trundled off home and lost myself in scanning paperwork that we don't want to physically have to carry on the plane. I found wage slips dating back to 2001. I questioned whether I would even need them but decided I should keep them as Sod's law I would need them as evidence at some point in the future. I literally sat on the floor surrounded by piles wage slips that I tried to put in date order before scanning. This at least took my mind off the boys last day.

 

When I did eventually collect them I was presented by scenes that would make anyone weep. My youngest who is 8, played with his friends and didn't want to say goodbye. They hung on to each other and kept saying that wherever they were in the world the other should know that they were still with them. Blub, blub.... Then they stood around my son and each said a prayer for him whilst putting their hands together, closing their eyes and all saying amen. (Yes, they go to a church school). It was the kindest thing, it broke my heart. I felt so cruel taking him away from people who mean so much to him. Once in the car his little face crumpled as he declared that he didn't know it was going to hurt as much as this. How I drove in a straight line as we both cried, amazed me.

 

So, with 8 days to go I am now at the stage that stings. So far I think I have done really well. A friend of mine described me as pragmatic (maybe another word for detached and cool) but I think I have finally come to realise that this is it, no going back, hearts will have to be broken, the last hugs and face to face contact has to be made. No more self denial. We are off to start this new adventure. No certainties, don't know which area to live in or school to attend, no job, no friends (apart from the ones I have made on here, that I sometimes tell more to than the real people around me as they understand what I am going through). We must be crazy/brave/ mad. Ask me on a good day and I'll answer courageous.

 

We have our leaving do down the pub tomorrow and I guess that will be a mixture of jovial story relaying and then as the alcohol kicks in, tears and man hugs. I'll let you know how we get on.

 

Night night. X

Edited by Akasully2

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gosh what a post sully. I am really not looking forward to my daughters last day now, which is a week on monday! I already feel so cruel taking her away from her best friend of 4 years who lives over the road and is in her class...she will be devastated.

I think I try to avoid thinking about the uncertainties that lie ahead as thats when the doubts start to creep in and stress levels rise! I'm just taking it one day at a time.

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Ohhh, Sully. What a lovelly post - i am here with a tear in my eye.

 

The kids will be fine and at that age it will only be days before they have a load of new best friends in their new school.

 

The last week will be an odd one as a mix of it dragging and going to fast.

 

Try not to get too stressed and it will change a lot once you finally get to the airport. Set up some treats for the kids for them for as soon as you get here so that they have something to look forward to. Maybe going to pat a koala at the zoo.

 

Dont get to fret about paperwork. Yes, it is often good to have it, but once here, you will simply have what you have or not.

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What a lovely post, made me cry and we are not even anywhere near that point yet xxx but thank you for posting it, I am building up my What to Expect list ... big hugs and safe flight, cant wait to read your updates once your in perth

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Aww how lovely. Have just one thing to say rollercoaster. That is best word to describe emotions etc. As for the golf clothing you can buy from Sports direct here so dont worry takes 10/14 days for delivery. All the best and try to enjoy your leaving do without too many tears xx

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bulb , bulb , oh Sully xx

 

Thank you all for your replies. I have a tear in my eye now and it only 8.30am, lord knows what I'll be like down the pub tonight.

 

On a completely different take, I am delighted and amazed that Sports Direct Deliver to Oz. That is where I got the golf stuff from! Love a bargain.

 

Odies, got to laugh at what I am guessing is auto correct typing. Mine also changed to Bulb instead of Blub when I wrote it. Only noticed it when I proof read it back! But yes, blub, blub is certainly the theme for the moment. Xx

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Also have a tear in my eye, lovely post and we'll look forward to all your posts from the other side

Have a lovely evening x

Edited by cocolevi

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Well, we did the saying goodbye to friends down the pub last night. As expected the evening started with general chats about Oz. Everyone was really pleased for us and were keen to find out more about our plans. We stayed in the beer garden which ended up being freezing, until we couldn't feel our feet any more and retreated in to sit by the fire. The evening was fantastic. We both stood up on tables outside and did a speech without crying. Just good humoured heckling and banter. All went well until we started to leave. Probably induced by the large amount of alcohol that we consumed, the tears started to fall for me. I really sobbed on the shoulder of a friend. The OH held on strong and it didn't affect him at all. He said he couldn't understand why he can shed a tear watching Britain's Got Talent but was dry eyed at his own bash. He did then reveal that he is going out with his closest mates again for one last time on weds because he didn't get the time to really spend an intense time with them last night, too many people to spread himself around. He thinks that is going to be his weepy session.

 

I'm off to say hi and bye to my folks tomorrow. Having a BBQ. Also meeting up with my oldest friend who I have known since I was 5. That is going to be my hardest moment.

 

Can't believe that this time next week we will be flying to Perth!

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Our countdown is well and truly under way too. 95 days and counting, whilst yours is a lot closer I can relate to some of what you've said. Yesterday I went to football with my mates for the last time, the last day of the season is always an all dayer when we say good-bye to friends for the summer.

 

I had one or two forty odd year old blokes nearly in tears as they gave me "man hugs" and told me "I'm really gonna miss you mate". It makes me a little sad thinking I might never walk into Elland Road again in my life, we have plans to visit the UK in the future but who knows what may occur.

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Our countdown is well and truly under way too. 95 days and counting, whilst yours is a lot closer I can relate to some of what you've said. Yesterday I went to football with my mates for the last time, the last day of the season is always an all dayer when we say good-bye to friends for the summer.

 

I had one or two forty odd year old blokes nearly in tears as they gave me "man hugs" and told me "I'm really gonna miss you mate". It makes me a little sad thinking I might never walk into Elland Road again in my life, we have plans to visit the UK in the future but who knows what may occur.

 

When this gets hard and it all seems a bit daunting, I have to remind myself of all those expats who have already done this. We were warned yesterday by an old friend who is just visiting from NZ, that what ever we do, we must not come back within 2 years because he knew the homesickness would kick in at some point. Last 2 years and you could do it long term. At least this way you get to find out who cares about you.

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Guest Guest6235
Our countdown is well and truly under way too. 95 days and counting, whilst yours is a lot closer I can relate to some of what you've said. Yesterday I went to football with my mates for the last time, the last day of the season is always an all dayer when we say good-bye to friends for the summer.

 

I had one or two forty odd year old blokes nearly in tears as they gave me "man hugs" and told me "I'm really gonna miss you mate". It makes me a little sad thinking I might never walk into Elland Road again in my life, we have plans to visit the UK in the future but who knows what may occur.

 

You might not have to walk into Elland Rd again....you lucky sod lol.....just kidding pal.

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I believe one of my worst days has passed. I had to say goodbye to my family and face the fact I may never see my mum again in the flesh. I drove over with my boys to have a BBQ with my extended family. It was lovely to see them all but there was definitely an elephant in the room or should I say garden. At one point my elderly mum went rushing past me into the house. My sister clocked it and presumed she was upset and suggested I find her. I tracked her down to upstairs and asked if she was ok. She replied brightly that she had had just needed the loo desperately. Ok, so all was well at this point.

 

in the evening my big sister confessed to feeling awful and had been dreading this day. My leaving has impacted greatly on her wellbeing. Individually we each had a moment of an out break of tears only to hold it together a few moments later with the encouragement of the other people. I think it was more a case of holding it together for the sake of the other because if we all started crying it would have been a nightmare. Gifts were exchanged, mainly jewellery with a sentimental theme. More choking back the tears.

 

when I left my mum I gave her a beautiful heart shaped silver brooch. She said when she looked at it she would always remember I had left her my heart and was always with her. More tears. I can honestly say this has been one of the most heart breaking days so far. I tried to be logical and rational, take it for the sad period that inevitably comes before a happier move but I found it very hard. I felt emotionally drained and tired. What made it worse was that I met my best friend in the evening to say goodbye to her too. Really not a good idea, two biggies in one day.

 

Only 5 days to go and I don't feel ready to leave yet. Too many little things to do. The last big emotional goodbyes will come at the airport as we say farewell to the in laws. More tears. I think I'll need a stiff one on the plane.

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Well done for getting through it. Is there any way you can go to the airport without the in laws, you want the airport to be the exciting start of your big adventure not a sad moment ;-)

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Those last goodbyes are horrible. I don't think I will ever return to the UK even for a holiday as I just cannot face doing those goodbyes ever again. Unfortunately I never got to say goodbye to my dad, as he was ill with a sickness bug and obviously did not want to pass the bug onto us, just as we were about to do a long haul flight, but in a way it was a relief not to see him and do those awful goodbyes. Unfortunately I am a great one for head in the sand sort of thing.

 

No one can really prepare you for those last goodbyes, a bit like child birth, they may say it will hurt a lot, but until you physically go through it yourself, you have no idea what it is going to be like. Personally I did not want any one at the airport with us as I knew that I would get very emotional, we said our last goodbyes at the house with the in laws, they then popped out for a bit (in reality just round the corner in their car and sat there crying) whilst we got in the taxi. The minute we were in the taxi the sadness lifted and we all started to get excited at that point.

 

You are so nearly at the end of this horrible bit and it does get better I promise and it will soon be a distant memory.

 

See you soon.

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Sounds very similar to our experience SJT! We too said farewell to the in-laws and escaped in a taxi. I don't think i will ever forget my FIL's comment that it was like waiting for a hearse to arrive at a funeral. But to be fair that's exactly what it felt like with MIL breaking her heart in the corner.

 

Like you though as soon as we were driving down the road the atmosphere lifted and we looked ahead to the new adventure.

 

With doubt ist is the absolute worst part of this process, fortunately it's one of the shortest parts to. So Sully just take a few deep breaths and do your best to enjoy the time you have left with your loved ones, you've only a few days left to go!!

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Oh, Sully, what an emotional rollercoaster.

 

Try to stop thinking about it as if your never going to see them again - it is only a flight away - remember, it is less travel than my commute to work - i will head home tomorrow and start with a 2 hour flight to Dar es Salaam, 4 hour wait, 6 hours to Dubai, 4 hour wait and 11 to Perth.

 

You might be back for a holiday soon - in the 6 years we have been in Oz, my wife has had more days with a family than she had in the 6 years prior to us moving. They come to visit and she pops over there during which they have really good quality time together.

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VS that is a remarkable commute time! No wonder you choose to up grade the flight instead of taking the money.

 

Last night before I went to bed, I read a post where a guy said he found Perth to be beautiful but was struggling financially and may need to go home with nothing. This was not a smart idea, reading this just before bed. Oh my word, did that play on my mind all night of what? That together with the post about area snobbery. So basically last night I tossed and turned worrying. The doubt started to creep in, why on earth would anyone do this? Why did we choose this? What if it goes wrong?....basically all the insecurities rise to the surface when my mind is not distracted by a busy day. Think positive, think positive!!!!

 

Thank you all for your reassurances, I need them and they are a great comfort. I keep visualising this as a cross country course, we are down in the last deep muddy dip but we need to get up that last slippery bank and then we will be on dry ground with the beach and blue skies in sight.

Edited by Akasully2

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Sully I can't even imagine what your going through right now there must be so many emotions your feeling, hopefully like SJT said hopefully as soon as your on the plane the excitement will kick in especially for your kids. You make sure you have a stiff drink

were all looking forward to your post from oz x

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Guest Guest6235
VS that is a remarkable commute time! No wonder you choose to up grade the flight instead of taking the money.

 

Last night before I went to bed, I read a post where a guy said he found Perth to be beautiful but was struggling financially and may need to go home with nothing. This was not a smart idea, reading this just before bed. Oh my word, did that play on my mind all night of what? That together with the post about area snobbery. So basically last night I tossed and turned worrying. The doubt started to creep in, why on earth would anyone do this? Why did we choose this? What if it goes wrong?....basically all the insecurities rise to the surface when my mind is not distracted by a busy day. Think positive, think positive!!!!

 

Thank you all for your reassurances, I need them and they are a great comfort. I keep visualising this as a cross country course, we are down in the last deep muddy dip but we need to get up that last slippery bank and then we will be on dry ground with the beach and blue skies in sight.

 

The exact same thoughts have gone through my mind & I'm sure a lot of others too about having to come home with a lot less than what we went with. I keep coming back to the reasons why we ever wanted to do this move and they outweigh the reasons for staying in the UK. We know the pressure will be on to find work etc in Perth but I'm guessing we'll feel alive with excitement for all the other things we want to do. I've said before that I never want to get to my 60's/70's (if lucky enough) and think what if.

Like what you have just gone through, the day when I have to say goodbye to my 75 year old parents will be the hardest part & knowing I will maybe only see one of them again probably under sad circumstances is hard.

I think it was Ali that said to you try and spend the first week or so in oz as a holiday so think of those lovely beaches you'll be on soon.

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And dont forget there is always PP for when you need help - not just online, but you would be surprised at the help that people have recieved from members of here and PIO. I have seen people be given places to stay, had cars lent to them and groceries bought for people when times have been tough.

 

We all go through those feeling of what if.... But the reality is, it rarely happens. Most people make the move and simply get on with living. You have the odd drama of course - thats life - but no more than you have living in the UK. I still have the odd argument with my wife (well, she tells me what i have done wrong and i listen lol) and we still have the thing in the house that goes wrong and causes a drama (my latest is a kitchen tap). But its just life and in a couple of months you will have forgoten all about them.

 

I remember my wife turning to me on the flight to Oz and saying "what are we going to do if it doesnt work, we have nothing". My reply was to ask her if she loved me, and that i loved her and that is all that matters - the rest is just stuff

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Really enjoying your posts Akasully2, we leave in 5 and half weeks so are just starting to visit some of our further away families that we probably won't see again or have time to see during our whistle stop visits back. So far, we've been ok. We have another two weekends clear before the "proper" farewells start and having a read through your experiences have made me feel that perhaps I'm not going to be as tough (or cold-hearted) as I think I am and showing my emotions rather than hiding them to stop others getting upset is probably the best way to be! Good luck with your last few days and I look forward to reading the rest of your posts!

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Akasully 2 - really love your posts!

 

This will be us in 4 months and yes I am dreading the girls last day at their lovely, awesome school. Their school is the one major factor which makes both OH and I hesitate as I know there are lots of good schools in Perth but their current school is lovely and small (240 children) and we know all the teachers by name and the bursar (aka the Dragon according to my OH) is amazing! Their school also runs a breakfast and afterschool club which costs us under £100 a week for 8am to 6pm cover for both girls and as full time working parents it is something we really appreciate.

 

Really hope the move goes well and look forward to your further posts. You sound very organised and I love the idea of shopping trips to get the "essentials" before the move....!

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I've got a horrible feeling in my stomach reading this Akasully 2. I'm dreading saying 'goodbye' to my mum and dad in two weeks. It sounds bad, but I'm not is the slightest bit worried/bothered about anyone else, but I just know how hard them two are going to find it. Boooooooo!

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